Saying farewell to your past

Saying Farewell to Your Past
Kevin W. Gardner

         What was your past like?  Did you have a great past, or was your past full of horror that you’d wish never happen.  It does not matter what type of past you had, it is important to know that dwelling on your past can hinder your success in the future. People (myself included), who have experienced nothing but hurt, abuse and other unpleasant things in our lives, we are being hindered from seeing the treasures ahead of us in the future, and we are also missing out on all the good things in life that each day brings. 

         Sometimes it takes people years to get over their past, while others can say good bye to their past within days or even weeks.  However, letting go of the past is not easy.  There is no miracle cure to get rid of the past, and it takes dedication and hard work to drop the past and move on with your lives.  Each person has to develop their own way to get rid of the past and no one can tell you which one works best.  Only you can find what will work for you, however, there are some tools that you can use to help you throw away all those negative thinking patterns that have been plastered into your mind.

         Some people will write letters to people who have hurt them in the past, and read them out loud and either shred or burn the letters.  Others will take physical actions, for example, going to a gym and working out their frustrations and letting off steam, and others will use the empty chair method where a person will take and empty chair, name their past, and tell their past to get out of the room which symbolizes telling the past to get out of their lives and never come back.  A WORD OF WARNING:  whenever you use the empty chair method, it is not to be used without a professional counselor on hand.  He/she needs to be there to prevent any meltdowns from happening.  Even though this technique does work, IT IS NOT TO BE DONE WITHOUT A PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR.

         Only you can find the tools that will work for you, for each person is different.  For me, I used the empty chair method with my counselor present.  And today, it is a tough battle; however, I am starting to see the bright light a head of me.  The only regret that I have is that why I did not do it sooner.  There is no timeline when you want to start the healing process, however, don’t wait too late to start, because there is so much that life has to offer. 

         Of course life is full of mountains and valleys, however, letting go of your past makes it much easier to get through the tough times.  And most of all you can start anew and figure out what you want to do and go for it.  Here is a quote that my counselor gave me and I found it to be so true.  “Stop digging up and hugging an old dead skunk.” 

         In conclusion, saying goodbye to your past is never easy.  It takes hard work and determination to get all that garbage out of your life and to move on with what the future has in store for you.  If you set your mind to it and work through your issues in your own way, by the time you accomplished your task, you will be surprised how much happier you will be and the future will look bright and you will become what you really wanted to be.  Good luck to you in the future.