Some people name their mistakes.

I smell like liquor and cigarettes and you hate it
I'd change it, but babe this is the only way
The only way I'll make it till the morning
And I'm praying that I don't

There's a light at the end of this tunnel, I know
But I'm immobile and I don't think you're strong enough
To drag us both out of this mess and these realizations
Are what paralyze me and I told you before it ever happened
"I'll kill it I'll kill it I'll kill it" and I thought I meant all three words
But it's different. It's different now that I'm here.

I want to make you understand, but I know you're scared
And I'm scared and oh Christ I can't go through this alone
But I am alone. Even with your hand in mine even with your
Breath on my skin even with your three words that you say
Over and over and over again the fact still remains
I. Am. Alone.

I'm screaming when I open my mouth and I'm still screaming
Long after I shut it so why can't you cry? Why aren't you crying?
I don't want you to comfort me. I want you to break down.
I need. I need you to break down with me.

I don't think you meant it when you said it. I think you
Wanted to feel it. Wanted to justify the mess we got
Ourselves into so I don't think you meant it, no. But
I mean it when I say I wish a little more than a sliver of you
And a chunk of me died that night. Just four pills...

Just four fucking pills. Two in each cheek.
Thirty minutes. It'll hurt, but in thirty minutes it
Will all be over. Just hold on a little longer and
You'll be able to breathe again. Well, it's been a
Month and a week past thirty minutes and I'm still
I'm still where I was November 30th.

And they don't write happy endings for people like us.
They don't want to sympathize only criticize things that they
Couldn't possibly begin to understand and I can't
I simply cannot take it anymore.

Suicide for Dummies. They say it's the last book you'll ever buy.
I went to pick up my copy, but they were all sold out. So I guess I'll
Borrow someone else's when they're through because I smell like
Liquor and cigarettes and you hate it, but babe, it's the only way
It's the only way I'll make it till the morn and to be honest
I've been praying I won't make it that long.