Self Condemnation

         “I did it. I finally killed someone. There he is lying right there in front of me, in a growing puddle of blood. Now I am a man,” Matthew thought to himself his hands visibly shaking, “Man I need to get out of here before someone sees me.”
         Matthew quickly headed home to wash the blood off of him. Looking in the mirror he noticed something in the corner of the bathroom. It looked like his mother glaring down onto him. Rubbing his eyes he looked away from the mirror and at the spot. There was nothing there.
         “Must be seeing things,” he thought.
         Matthew then got dressed and headed out towards the meeting spot. He turned on the radio.
         “Like stricken by disease, guilt sought by one’s self…guilty, guilty I feel so
empty, empty you know how to make me feel,” the radio blared out then silence as Matthew turned the radio off.
         “Man the songs on tonight are to depressing,” Matthew thought as he pulled into the lot.
         “Hey bro, you a man tonight?” his brother Mikey asked as he put his arms around him.
         “Yes I am. The little man begged for life right before I pulled the trigger.” Matthew boasted. As he went to give the others the normal greeting he noticed his hands where glistening as if they where wet. Bringing them into the light he saw that his hands were covered in blood. Matthew screamed.
         “What’s the matter?” his brother asked as he ran up to him.
         Matthew looked at his hands to find out there was nothing on them.
         “I was just imitating the guy right before I shot him that’s all,” Matthew uttered, “I think I am going to go home now. Kind of tired after the whole killing thing.”
         Matthew headed back to his car when he spotted someone who was out of place.
         “Is that a new recruit over-” Before Matthew could finish the figure started to run.
Matthew followed the figure as something in his mind was telling him that there was something wrong. The figure ducked into the alley and out into the street. Matthew, slowly gaining on the man, shouted out for him to stop. The figure continued ignoring Matthews’s pleas. Running into an alley the figure was finally cornered as Matthew caught up to him.
         “Turn around. Why the hell where you at the meeting place? You a cop?” Matthew demanded. The figure turned around. Matthew was once again looking into the face of the man he had killed earlier to day. “It can’t be. Your dead I killed you.” Matthew looked away no longer able to look this man in the eyes.
         “What are you talking about? I never seen you before,” the man said. Matthew turned and he no longer saw his victim but some homeless guy. Matthew turned and fled.
         “What’s going on,” he thought, “First I see mom, then I have blood on my hands and now I see the guy I killed walking around like nothing happened. I must be losing my mind.”
         Matthew ran back to his car and drove home. He started to scratch at his chest. When he came home he found that the itchy feeling in his chest was too much to bear. He ripped of his shirt to reveal a rash that was in the shape of an M. Once again screaming Matthew fell back knocking over his bookcase. Causing a copy of the Scarlet Letter to hit him in the head. Matthew stood back up and took some time to collect himself. He picked up the books that had fallen. Putting the final book, The Tell-Tale Heart, Matthew once again began to hear the lyrics from the radio earlier today. Matthew decided he would feel better in the morning after a good night’s sleep.
         Matthew now lying in bed noticed for the first time that the shadows that fell onto his bed at night, looked like bars. The sound of footsteps woke Matthew up. Looking up he looked straight into the eyes of the man he killed earlier. Screaming in fear Matthew fled his apartment. He saw a police cruiser coming down his street. Matthew flung himself into the path of the car screaming the he did it. The police arrested him and put him into the back of the car. As the cruiser pulled away Matthew saw the man again smiling and then fading away.