To Me: A Look at Myself from 2007

Dear Me:

Okay, enough with the justification act. Yeah, I know you were busy last year. A lot of stuff was going on—new job, new apartment, new husband. It was crazy, sure. But you really slacked off, and you can’t deny it.

Come on, you were unemployed for four months! Did you even write a poem? No! You just sat around on your duff watching movies and cooking. What happened to all those goals you set for 2007, huh? You wanted to work on the story of your childhood. Did you? No. Granted, you and Mom weren’t getting along well and it would have been awkward to interview her, but wouldn’t it have been worth it? What excuse do you have now? Get moving!

How many items did you review last year? How many of them didn’t give you gift points for doing it? You know you always appreciated your reviews as a newbie. They inspired you to keep writing. Why would you not return the favor? Seems more than a little ungrateful to me.

And what about the contests you thought about entering? You never did more than think about it! You thought and thought until the deadline was past, and didn’t even bat an eye. Sure, they’re tough. Sure, you’ve never won a contest you’ve entered. Why should that be the point? The point is to grow as a writer! No one except you expects you to be the best at whatever you try the first time you try it. Get rid of your unreasonable demands on yourself and you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish.

You decided to take a creative writing class this year for a reason. You know it’s going to be hard. You know you’re going to have to write things you’ve never written before. Quit being a wimp and put some effort into it! No more of these vague and generic promises to yourself to write “more.” More? How much more?

Here’s what you’re going to do. You need to sit down and decide on some goals. I’ll help you out. Talk to your mother. She can help you with your autobiography. You’ve just found your biological father. Talk to him. A little awkward, yes, but get over it. It’s necessary, and besides, you’re starting to like the guy. Decide how much of your story you want to get down by June. It’s a nice halfway point to the year, and you can assess your progress then and make adjustments if you need to.

Keep writing poetry. It seems to be your strong point, and you enjoy it. Branch out! You keep writing in the same form. Why are there so many forms of poetry if you’re not meant to explore them? Learn some new ones. There are plenty of poetry contests to enter, especially ones that require you to use a specific form. Don’t be so hesitant to try new things, and quit comparing yourself to the other writers.

You’ve wanted to write a story for quite some time now. This is your chance! You’re growing as a writer. Your husband is a great inspiration. You have people online that you know you can go to for advice. Buckle down, decide what you want to write about, and do it! There’s no reason to keep waiting and wasting time. Last summer you stated you wanted to publish a novel before your fortieth birthday. Well, you’re more than halfway to that age, and you’ve got nothing to show for it. It’s not an abstract goal, and it’s not a difficult one. You just have to get started. Be patient with yourself, but don't procrastinate as you're so accustomed to doing.

I'll be checking in on you from time to time. Expect a more scathing letter next time if you keep going the way you are.

Sincerely yours,
Me