My Heart Is Yours Forever (Part 4)

Author's Note: All right, another chapter...the first few were pre-written so I thought I'd just start on another one, I started this story ages ago. Anyway...on a serious note...the song in this chapter is sung, again, this time by Allison.

Allison looked silently at the crowd of teenagers filing into the church. She had yet to say hi to any of them except for James, because the second she had walked in, Adam had pulled her to the side.

"Allie, I know how you feel about what happened last week...look, I'm going to preach tonight...if you could say something before I do...and if you could just sing one song with the band...it would help a lot."

Allison bit her lip and looked up at him. If he knew how hard it was, why was he asking her to do it? But deep down in her heart, she knew. 'We have to talk about it. She's not dead. We have to talk about it.'

Baylie had been hospitalized after passing out right before the ambulance arrived. At the current moment, she was in a comatose state, but otherwise all right, and most of the people in youth knew. And now Adam wanted to TALK about it.

So she had agreed, and now here she stood. She knew which song to sing, loved the song itself, and was hoping, PRAYING, she'd know what to say.

As everyone settled down, Allison stepped up to the mic. She swallowed and started to speak, praying silently as she went.

"Hey guys. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Allison. Normally Brother Charlie or Adam would be up here, but Adam asked me to come up.

"As many of you know, Baylie Steinman is in the hospital this week, in a coma. The reason, you might ask?"

Allison paused. "She attempted to commit suicide last Wednesday at nine-thirty at night.

"Earlier that evening at church, she had lost control of her bottled emotions and snapped at me. Later, about a minute after she took an entire bottle of anti-depressant medication, she called me to apologize and started rambling. Naturally I asked her what was going on, and she told me. Needless to say, I asked her for her address, went downstairs to my mother, and had her call an ambulance."

Allison's eyes started to fill up with tears. "The entire reason for her attempt will remain a mystery to me until the day she opens up about it. The main point of why we are gathered here tonight, however, is not to ponder that. It is the knowledge that she did it, tried desperately to end her own life, which was given to her, and blessed, by God. She was given an incredible talent towards piano, and a beautiful singing voice. She's amazingly sweet, sometimes to the point of annoying, sure, but you know she cares.

"Most of us met her when she was only eleven. It's been two years, she's thirteen, which is possibly the worst age in the world. We all know that."

Tears were streaming down her face, but her voice was still strong. "She doesn't have a clue how much we love her...and she doesn't even believe that God loves her anymore. We band here together, tonight, to pray...and to hope those prayers are passed to her through God, so that she may understand how much we care, and it'll give her the will to wake up.

"If you know this song, I encourage you to sing it with me. Let our voices echo and be heard..." she trailed off and waited for the band to start.

She never slows down.
She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down
She won't turn around
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, what’s lost can be found
You stand in the rain

She won't make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down.


So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, what’s lost can be found
You stand in the rain

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
Stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, what’s lost can be found


So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, what’s lost can be found
You stand in the rain

Allison couldn’t stem the tears by then. She took a step back from the podium and covered her face just as Adam jumped up onto the stage and, reaching out, held her. They stood there for a moment before she shook her head and went to sit with James, Caitlyn, and Aimee, who in turn all hugged her. All of them were crying as well.

Adam stepped up to take her place. “Wow. I think enough was said about that. But…tonight we’re doing something a little out of the ordinary.”

He cleared his throat. “Allison started the discussion and I’ll keep it going. We’re talking about suicide.

“To the Catholics, it is believed to be the worst sin one can commit. Crazy as it seems, I think they’re right. God put us here for a reason, and He wants us to stay here ‘til it’s done.”

Adam continued on as Allison thought to herself, ‘Baylie, you know that. Why did you do this?’

She knew the answer as though Baylie was standing right there.

‘Because I couldn’t see the way out.’