Disappointment

I sit here in the dark, and wonder what I did wrong.
I watch others laughing and interacting and I wonder how it’s done.
I disappoint me.

Thoughts, heavy with the truths of which I’d like to speak, run circles in my mind....unspoken.
Your wounds are not my goal, but they would be my curse.
I disappoint me.

A want in my life, for a shelter, a haven - an ache for a friendly word or a sympathetic moment,
But even the closest moments are fleeting, and almost never shared.
Random thoughts, disjointed desires.....I disappoint me.

But even ever hopeful, that you will turn to me and see the light of my need,
I find that the yawning darkness is eternal and infinite, and I must realize that
While I disappoint me, a greater truth is that you disappoint me.