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The first story in my collection of oddly hilarious short stories that don't make sense. |
Once upon a time there was a cat named Roman. He was the greatest cat in all the land, mostly because he would wear baby clothes and sit and pose. In a completely unrelated matter, this kid named Franko decided he would go mug a kid. He was all like, “I’m so mad that this chicken nugget tastes like kittens and being kicked in the teeth, so I’m going to mug one of those weird kids that look like Talia.” So he ventured out of his hermit-hole, where he lived with a blonde, blind Asian kid, and strolled down the road, strutting like John Travolta. Franko was still pissed off about the nugget, so as soon as he saw one of those weird lookin’ kids, he went straight for her. It turned out she was wearing some colour, so he couldn’t mug her at all. That would just be wrong. Along he kept on strollin’ and struttin’, when all of a sudden, he saw one of them fiddling around on his cell phone. Franko realized this kid was Roman Dirge, and figured he’d probably have money because he lived in California and was playing on a cell phone. Franko took out his nifty knife, (not unlike the one owned by that one kid in that movie that involved 12 angry, old, men who are either Jewish, poor, man-like, baseball fans, European, Henry Fonda or an advertiser dude) and advanced towards Roman. “Bam!” said Franko. “Gimme your lunch money!” Roman jutted out a hand and snatched the knife away from Franko. “Hey,” Roman said, “this knife is not unlike the one in that movie with 12 angry Henry Fondas.” “Gimme that back, yo!” Franko said, trying to grab it. He slipped on a banana peel that was conveniently placed on the ground and fell into the knife, which crammed into his arm. “They got my squeezing arm! Not my squeezing arm!” He took out the knife from his arm and threw it to the ground, somewhat like Canada would if Canada was a girl playing War with some guy friends. “I hate you, Roman Dirge! You stabbed a man! With a single-prongled trident! Prongled!” He punched Roman in the ribs and said, “Punchy ribs, punch punch!” and ran off, less a knife. |