The missing finger

It is now over 1 year since my accident. It was one of those freak and stupid accidents that only happens when one is tired and unthinking…it was past midnight when my husband returned from the office as we had had friends visiting and he wasn’t able to finish some work while they were with us so he decided to do some catching up. When he returned on THAT evening I was not only happy to see him but I thought we could also go for a quick walk – the night was crisp and clear and we often go for late-night walks. To my surprise, as he entered the door, I slipped and fell from the upper stairs (I was wearing only socks and had forgotten to put on my anti-slip slippers) and as I tried to clasp the side of the stairs, I found myself (or should I say my left hand small finger) attached to a nail and unknown to me at the time, I had ripped off my finger in trying to steady myself.

In a daze we drove to the hospital, which was only a 5-minute drive from our house. I had quickly wrapped my hand in some serviettes I had found on the kitchen table to stop the bleeding and unbeknown to me at the time, my husband had found the missing finger at the bottom of the stairs, and he had wrapped it in ice – as he had seen in a medical programme on TV – and had only just managed to keep a steady hand on the wheel on the way to the emergency room of the hospital.

When we arrived the doctors thought that he was the emergency as he was white as a sheet but in fact it was me. I was very calm and even at that time, which was now close to 1 am – very unaware that I had lost the good part of my left-hand finger. I was led immediately to the operating theatre and it was at that time that I was informed that I had lost most of my finger as they had sawed off the remaining bone, which could not be of any use. There was a team of very young trainee doctors and frankly I have never been surrounded by so many charming and handsome young men in my life!!! I was cared for in the best possible way and they explained everything they were doing, so I really knew at all times what was going on – or should I say, what was coming off!!!

Many of my friends came to visit me in the hospital and I was surrounded by loving people who encouraged me at all times to go forward. After all, it wasn’t as if I was completely without a hand – I could still do most anything that I could do before!! I could still cut the hedges, cook our meals, wash my hair and put on make-up!!

Over 11/2 years later, I have gotten over the drama and the trauma – trauma because something even as small and banal (as many people have told me) can put your whole existence into question. However, and most importantly, I realize that indeed there are more people than one would imagine who are missing something or other. To give some examples, when I went to put some petrol in my car a few months ago, I came across the girl who runs the garage who asked to help me and saw that she had a finger which was partly missing. We exchanged our respective stories, and I promised to give her the name of the specialist that I will soon be seeing to fix a prostheses. Or the story of the famous Greek actress who lost a finger but did not mind any one knowing about it. We once went to eat in a restaurant where the boy serving told me that he had cut all his fingers off of his left hand due to a broken wine bottle but that thanks to a very able surgeon all his fingers were saved!!!! And just recently a good friend had a close and nasty escape with the same finger when she tried to catch a vase from falling!!!

I have come a long way since then and have completely discarded the bandage I have been wearing to cover the empty space. I no longer feel self-conscious and to be honest, I seldom think about it anymore.

When I see the misery and the suffering in the world caused by the tsunami, earthquakes and starving third world countries, not to mention all the wars going on,I am still thankful that all I am missing is a small bit of my left-hand finger.