The Creation of Time Pt. 1

Excerped from the journals of RPJesus who shall remain nameless: " Why, this is amazing. It appears that Zingo's story was not entirely lost. Apparently the page only burned away the section explaining how pi was created, allowing me to make more money from this story without going through the arduos task of explaining the end of the last one."

The Creation Of Time
(or The Creation Of Pi II: The Cheap, Sell-Out Sequel)
By RPJesus (aka, he who is without crapbox (aka, a bad gaming console (aka, Xbox (aka, Satan's Spawn(aka, a poorly made movie and video game)))))

(section missing). And thus, having brought lasting peace to the world with his half a wish, which set into motion a long and needlessly complex chain of events that created pi, and as a result, world peace, Zingo(tm) decided to retire from whatever it was that he did. However, as the story wasn't even a paragraph long at this point, the world plunged into chaos, as apparently Zingo(tm), and only Zingo(tm) was the sole thing keeping the world peace (which was achieved by thousands of hours of (section missing)) from collapsing under the weight of several sheep (patent pending), a few chickens, and two cats. So faster than a drunk muffin playing catch in a carapace of souls, the omnipresent, non-denominational, maker of all (patent pending) decided to send Zingo(tm) on an epic and ultimately pointless quest to slay Garblkoxiqweterf, lord of the red horned, silver haired, flat footed, black eyed,(section missing) sharp tailed demon tribe of the northern mountains of Carcium (patent pending), which would somehow bring about peace again, just as the slaying of the rabid, malaria, infested zombie werewolf(tm), Bob(tm), indirectly led to the creation of pi. This was of course, an impossible task for Zingo(tm) alone, so the omnipresent whats 'is face ( I am not typing that again) bid that the genie, Hesocarnetsderlighugged (patent lost, but who's gonna stop me from using it?) accompany Zingo(tm), as the only way to defeat someone with a name that impossible to pronounce, is some one with an equally unpronouncable name who would be, as logic follows, equally as powerful. And so, after recieving a needlessly cryptic riddle, whose solution would present itself somewhere around the climax, the pair set off, disillusioned at the realization that everything that happens in their world is brought about by killing something. (section missing) And with one swing of (section missing) grunted heavily (section missing) made a loud clang (section missing) fingers wrapped around his throat (section missing). Suddenly spirits soared as Hesocarnetsderlighugged (once again, patent lost, but what's stopping me from...what? I'm being sued?!) saw the lair of Garblkoxiqweterf, lord of the red horned, silver haired, flat footed, black eyed,(section missing) sharp tailed demon tribe of the northern mountains of Carcium (patent pending) up ahead. Zingo(tm) started to run towards it but was flung back by (pause for dramatic effect) Bob(tm), the rabid malaria infested zombie werewolf(tm) (dun dun dundundundun!) (cue evil sounding music, like "Oh Fortuana") Bob(tm) then lunged towards Zingo(tm) and...
(at this point, time, which did not exist yet but would later exist at that point after they completed their quest, froze for exactly one week, creating what will forever be known as a cliffhanger ending(patent pending) once time exists. The beauty of this is,of course, that even if you only intended to read this story, you still must read the next one to get the thrilling ( or lack thereof ) conclusion. This results in more money for me, and less free time for you. So everyone's a winner!... well, except for you)