Burnout

I'm eighteen,
My hair is red,
I'll turn it
really blond instead.

Ammonia, lemons,
Peroxide.
Is that commiting
follicide?

Nope- do it myself
for practically free
with a spray-in product
that's O.T.C.

Ooh, lookin' good,
Yeah! Lookin' right
For that big date
on Friday night.

Hey... wait a minute,
This is sick!
It stretches just like
Elastic!!!

What is this...
Some kinda' joke?!
The smell's enough
to make me choke!

Hair's stretching like
a rubber band
and coming out
into my hand!!!

This just ain't workin',
Makes me squirm...
Guess now I'll have to
get a perm.

(32 lines)