I Got Stoned

I Got Stoned

“There, that oughta do.” Jack grinned, laying the fat joint next to the other five on the nightstand. Admiring his work a moment, he reached out and plucked the first in line. “I might as well have a little taste before Mom calls me to breakfast.”

Leaning back, he looked around the dim basement bedroom and fired up his lighter. Sucking the first hit deep into his lungs, he clamped his lips tight to hold in the sudden cough threatening to dispel the acrid smoke.

The first rush of euphoria sweeping through his thirty-four year old body, the threatened cough subsided and he relaxed, twin tendrils of smoke escaping his nostrils. “Oh my,” he whispered, “there it is.”

Before he could pull another toke, he heard the bedroom door open. “Jackie?” His mother’s voice drifted down the stairs. “Jackie dear, breakfast is ready.”

“Okay, Mom. I’ll be right there.” Licking his forefinger and thumb, he pinched the little cigarette out. Slowly sitting up, he reached down and snagged his jeans from the heap on the floor.

Before he could push his foot into the first leg, he heard a noise from outside the exterior door. “Hey Jack.” His friend, Denny’s voice, rolled over the transom. “Hey man, you ain’t gonna believe this shit. Some crazy fool, down at Mayburgh’s Store, is giving money away! Grab your shit and let’s get down there.”

“Wha-what?” The legs to his jeans fighting him, he tried to push his feet inside. “Wow man, I’ll be right out.” Flopping back, Jack decided that another hit might make the world a little less hectic. Grabbing the just extinguished joint from the ashtray, he groped for the lighter.

Pulling in another lung full, he thought about breakfast. Mom always made blueberry pancakes on Saturday. Blueberry pancakes and thick-sliced maple bacon. Oh man, Mom is the best!

Kicking his legs free, he scooted back to the comfort of his pillows. Another wave of pleasure raced through his bloodstream. His penis tingled and lengthened, as the euphoria feathered into every fiber of his being.

Man, I can’t believe it. He grinned, his mind going back to the previous night. After six months, Maureen finally agreed to go through with it!

He remembered her asking afterward if it was as good as he had expected. “Of course it was.” He had reassured her.

It must have been pretty grand. He thought, as he fondled himself. My dick is kind of sore and stiff with dried juices, I wish I could remember it better though.

“Jackie?” His mother’s voice drifted down the stairs again. “Breakfast is getting cold.”

“Okay, Mom, I’ll be right there.”

“Hey, Jack!” Denny’s voice called through the door. “Hurry the hell up, man. That dude ain’t gonna be there forever!”

“Yeah, coming right out, man. Don’t go having a cow!”

“Shit, I bet even Saint Peter would be pushing them through in a hurry today.” Jack groused, reaching down, searching for his pants.


500 words

Based on Dr. Hook's I got Stoned and Missed It ,
Hear it here, (video): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSkKpTuO5z8

Look here for the lyrics:
http://www.sylviasmother.com/lyrics/bankrupt/stonedandmissedit.htm