A time of exploration

I lay there, silent, in Ayden's bed; her arms rapped tight around my waist, her head lay on my shoulder as she slept quietly. She breathe softly in and out, her chest moving slowly up in down, rhythmicly, against my back. We were taking our afternoon nap in her bed because my sheets were in the wash. Rather, she was taking an afternoon nap. I couldn't sleep for a second. My mind was consumed with the same subject it had been for days. It kept turning over again and again in my head. I thought I might go mad.
Finally, I whispered, "Ayden..."
She grunted in her sleep, as if slightly aware of me having said something. "Ayden... I have something I need to tell you," I began again.
She only grunted again.I turned a bit, making her head drop from my shoulder, until I was facing her. She yawned and stretched a bit, then sleepily looked at me saying, "What is it?"
I stared at her for a moment. Examining her short, boyish hair cut, her crooked smile, and men's pajamas. Some would often mistake her for a boy walking down the street. But if one got close enough one would notice the small lumps on her chest she tried so hard to hide. I looked down at her hands, her small petite hands. They gave away her sex too. But nothing gave away her gender more greatly than her eyes. Her beautiful yellow, green eyes. No eyes so magnificent could be on the face of a young man.
"Well... What is it?" she whispered.
"Oh," I flickered back to reality. "I have something... something I need to tell you."
"You already said that much, " she giggled in her sleepy, english accent. "What is it you need to tell me dear?"
I looked at her eyes again, searching them for any hint that she might have a clue to what I was about to tell her. She could sense my tension and placed her hand around mine. "Lyra, you can tell me," she laughed. "Ehem... I promise whatever it is I won't be mad or laugh... I'll be serious. You know you can tell me anything."
I looked down at our hands, they so perfectly fit together. With my head still down, "I... I'm in love with you Ayden." I looked up at her face, it was drinched with confusion. I ripped away my hand and turned away from her.
"I understand if you find me appauling. And... I understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore."
She leaned over me and took my hand again. "I'm in love with you too," she laughed. "I have been for so long. I thought you were straight Lyra. I had no idea..." She continued to laugh. She seemed to laugh, not because it was funny, but because she had just come to the realization of something.
I turned back to face her, head still dropped. "Is she being serious?" I thought. "Or she joking like she always does?"
"How do you know?" she asks, finally breaking the silence that has settled.
"How do I know what?" I reply, looking up to her face.
"How did you come to the realization that you loved me?" she hesitated.
"I... You're all I can ever think about Ayden. When I'm at work I find myself watching the clock for minutes at a time urging the hands of time to move faster just so I can be home and see you. When you go out with on a date I find myself pacing the floors waiting to know how your night was... and selfishly enough, hoping that the date didn't go well. You're all my world consists of Ayden. And all I want is for your happiness."
I waited for it. The laugh. Lyra laughed at everything, even things I find very serious. But it didn't come.She just stared at me, eyes running marathons around my face, in search of some unknown truth.
Then, her hand. It touched my cheek so delecately to gave the impression of warmth. Her fingers brushed through my hair and across my lips. Then just as quickly as her hand had reached my face, her lips pressed against my own.
She kissed me. She kissed me softly and slowly as it my lips were made a of fragile porcelain. And I kissed her back. I had never felt this way before. I'd never know such a comfort, such a love.
Soon our bodies, as if accustom, as if it came naturally, began to move passionately. The kisses became deeper, the fingers caressed the skin more swiftly. Ayden's fingers moved along my jaw bone, down my throat, and her lips followed.
She softly pressed her lips to my neck and down to my collar bone until she reached my cloth covered breast. She kissed them delicately, as if they were made of material easily deconstructed. She kissed down my body, down my stomach until she reached my shirt line.
There she began to raise my shirt touching my skin and kissing my bare stomach. She moved back up the front of my body until she reached my breasts again, now naked and exposed. She stopped for a moment and stared at my bare chest, eyes moving, examining. A confused expression was imprinted on her face, as if she had expected something else. She smoothly drew a line from the middle of my collar bone to my nalve with her right index finger. And as cautiously as before, softly touched my breasts with her soft hands and lips. I'd never felt more safe yet so exposed.
After completely removing my shirt, she moved back to my lips; kissing me more passionately than before; moving her hand across my bare back. I unbuttoned the first button on her pajama shirt and lightly moved me finger around her collar bone, making her giggle in mid-kiss. I slid my hand inside to hold her, usually concealed breast. It ift my hand perfectly as if a pair made for each other.
Growing more bold, I forced Ayden to flip over on to her back, making me on top.I quickly finished undoing all of her buttons on her shirt and slid it off her petite upperbody.
I moved my hands down her arms to her hands, locking our fingers. Then looking into her eyes once again I realized this was where I belonged, and this was where I chose to stay. It was a time of exploration.