what love ment to me

love? wat was love? love was a unknown thing to me and didn't have any meaning to me at all. Love was suppose to be the strongest emotion...but it wasnt for me. When a person that you loved dies..ur suppose to be sad like fuk..well when my dad died my mom did say i cried..but i dont remember that...only thing i remember is me sitting in front of him..not a tear coming down..like i was frozen..then i dont remember much after that at all. but something happened their..cuz before i even found out wat love was it died in me.

years later i watch the titanic..im like huh? i didn't even care that the ppl were dieing in it.
my heart was gone..
then over time i started to learn a lil wat love was. Love was not a big deal at all. Only closets thing to it was me liking some 1. but it never worked out. untill a friend tells me love is more than like. It was stuck in my head for months..but i didn't care.

by the age of 13 for some reason the titanic got stuck in my head..the songs..so i listen to them. I had a heart ache for days while listening to the music..untill the aching stoped. Then i though i knew wat love was..but wat i thought it was lead me to a big scar and my heart became blackned.

Now my heart is clear with the scar..its missing. Like it was never there. Love to me now means a person that is most dearist to u..a person who is there for u always...a person who helps u get through life. but that was once upon a time. with no heart love is gone once again.

Only the memories of my aching heart..how it got scared...and how it turned to black.. But besides all of that..feels like if i am given a change my heart will return in light..but chaces are only once in a life time..and i took it..only thing i dont have is love.
Love..still..wat is it? And its something i never feel...not in this world, my dreams, or imagantion...but its somewhere..