emotional masochism

am i supposed to feel this still?
this soulful aching in my chest?
and how could i be so obsessed
with things i threw away?
it's been six days now, seven nights
that i have cried when i'm alone
every time that i'm alone
and i'm alone a lot
i thought i filled this in with him
i thought i fixed it when i fled
and in my head i know i'm fine
but in my heart i think i've bled
too much
i'm such a masochist
insisting everything must hurt
making sure that it is worth the pain
insane
i've lost my mind
i can't explain why i'm still crying
i guess i feel we're intertwined
and i may not escape you
do i want to?
i don't know -
don't go -
please wait for me