Disgusted.

“After you get past the smell....it’s pretty simple to just ignore them.” I kicked the pile of rocks in front of me, and sent them skipping across the asphalt. The April sun shown down hard on my shaved head, and my black steel tip boots reflected the blazing sun. “But...they...I don’t believe you.” Sadie objected. “ Fine, whatever you’re the one who brought it up.” I turned looking at her. “ But of course, if you really want to see it....” I was testing her. She was mine, and she didn’t even know it yet. Curiosity was the leading cause of eventual death, from car accidents to hunting accidents, humanity has always been testing the safety of their present situations. Always testing the waters. I was just best at exploiting this, finding whatever interest a person had and sticking a wedge inside this crevice of their personality, then ripping them open. You should try it sometime, you never know what you’ll find. But back to my Sadie.

Of course we were discussing Wilber and Jenny, the two dead person’s that I had stuffed under my house. The goth kids at Gwen Park were into this type of necro shit which hadn’t exactly appealed to me, mostly since their objections and threats were usually empty and really a disguise of getting attention, or even worse a hug. My pal Jake always used to say that everyone was just looking to play the victim, but whereas I just like to create victims. Most of the times this set up the goth kids perfectly, me all to happy to hurt them in some form or another, them freely accepting the pain for that little spice of pleasure which came in the form that someone was at least touching them. Frankly, the whole situation made my head spin but for that split second where my boot heal connected with whatever dark haired goth kid had paid me to give his ass a serious kicking, the world seemed, well.....acceptable. But yet I digress, back to my little Ms. Sadie.

Her eyes grew huge and her blonde hair fell over her face. “ Whatever I still don’t believe you.” She glared at me, pressing me for more. “ Follow me son.” Just like I said, humanity’s greatest demise is it’s never ending interest in what was really none of their business anyway. I mean, look at all the serial killers out there. They work and play off of other people’s greatest sickness, they see what I see in society. The fact that people can’t just pass a car accident without staring for the bodies, or the tuning into the evening news, opening some new killer is on the loose. It gives them an excuse to carry a gun, to hide in their house, to feel a rush of excitement. Humanity has felt IT in small forms, but only us true individuals have actually felt all of IT. IT’s not a sickness, but a blessing. Imagine the little high people experience through a ten car pile up, or watching a freak accident on tv. That feeling you get watching a stunt man, hoping, no praying that he miscalculates his steps, and falls thousands of feet to his death. His demise thousands of person’s pleasure. Well my sickness was just this. IT was beautiful, and the world was my oyster. For those little moments at least.

She followed me up my dirt covered, once green but now sort just a puke color porch, and into the dark house. “ Aight gangster, are you seriously ready for this?” I turned around, facing my guest. But she wasn’t paying attention, instead her eyes were darting around my house taking in all the little facets, almost as if she’d seen it somewhere else, but couldn’t put her finger on it. “Dude...where’s all your shit?” She asked. Cracking open a can of coke from the fridge I jerked around. “ Whadda mean?” She stared at me now, her cold blue eyes staring me down. “ I mean, your wallpaper, your table, pictures, decorations....nothings here. Your house is empty man.” She didn’t understand yet, but she would soon. I had already told her, but how untrustworthy the human spirit is. Whatever, her doubts would soon wash away. “ Why the fuck would I decorate my house fool, do I look like some American Eagle fag rag to you? Yeah go fuck yo self” She followed me throughout the bare house, running her fingertips among the bare, empty walls that were my house. “ Yeah but, your parents...” I cut her off. “ Are under my fucking house....just follow me son.” Sadie stopped halfway down the hall way. “ Todd....I don’t like this seriously, where’s your mom? I saw her last weekend, she’s just working overtime, you seriously better put your house back together your parents’ll fucking kill you.” She began walking out. “ Do you want to see or not!” I called after her. She flung around, her blonde hair twirling with her momentum. “ Yeah your real funny Mr. Bundy, but I know your just fucking with me and I got’s shit to do so....Peace.” Flicking me the finger, she spun around again and opened my door. But to her surprise it was locked, tugging on it, she turned around. “ Todd yo how do you..” Pitching my coke can as hard as I could, it connected directly with little Sadie’s mouth. The ruby red came fast after that. “ Ow, What the fuck!” She screamed, and flipped around back to the locked door. My little Sadie, trapped in my little corner. I charged at her, and lifing my boot up, connected with her stomach. The wind came shooting out of her, and her tiny body crumbled to the dirt floor. A small pool of dirty blood formed underneath her mouth as she coughed, and struggled to push herself up. The steel boots were a boys best friend my other friend Tim once said, and honestly he couldn’t have been more correct. Creating a gap between little Sade Sade and the floor her body was in perfect condition to a good ol’ soccer special. I threw my leg back, and with full force connect my steel toe with little Sadie’s chest. She collapsed, and seemed done fighting the inevitable. Now the real artwork began, the beauty of my craft. I picked my doll up, and headed to the basement.

The stench had grown worse since I was there, and I was pretty sure Jenny was unfuckable now. Her and Wilber’s corpses sat in the corner, and really reminded me of some sort his/her goth doll set which one would be able to purchase at any local Hot Topic. Shit really disgusted me. Death itself wasn’t just a type of lifestyle to mimic, instead I respected it for what it was, what Bundy and The Zodiac and of course God himself, Manson had seen it has. Not how the goth kids represented it or any other fuck nut in today’s society. Instead I saw It’s true form. It’s authenticity. I layed my little blonde angel on the middle of the dirt floor that made my basement. I had chains set up, to create a real nice chamber feel. Locking her up, I pulled up a chair and waited for my little princess to awaken.

She stirred, and stared around dazed and confused. Then she looked up at me, in words only I can describe as a if she was looking into the pits of hell itself. Then she screamed, a thrill piercing noise. “ Quite now...how long have we known each other Sade Sade?” I said staring directly into Sadie dearest's clear blue eyes. They scared me, how sharp they were, how they could see right through you. She began to cry, her little tears mixing with the dirt and blood on her face, and fell softly to the dirt flood.IT was coming close, and I couldn't restrain myself much longer. The pulsing tensity in my skull grew loud, and I knew what had to happen.

“ ANSWER ME GODDAMN IT!” I screamed, and heaved my steel chair as hard as I could at the corpses in the corner. The end of the chair connected with what I think was Wilbur’s eye, and a splurge of goo erupted in Sadie’s direction. She stared at the bodies, and I could see that she had finally realized what was going to happen. “....ten years.” She finally was able to whisper. “ Now in ten years of us knowing each other, have I ever hurt you Sadie?” I walked closer to her, and fell forward on the tips of my toes, getting eye level with her glorious eyes. I picked her head up, and stared directly into her. Not everyone gets to feel someone dying, there’s nothing more pure on Earth. “ Do you trust me Sadie?” She tried to drop her head, but I pulled her face back up. Continuing to stare at her, I began to pull the knife out of my left back pocket. “ I love you Sadie, and for both parties involved this was the only resolution.” She didn’t understand. Not yet. But it would be clear soon. I kept eye contact with her, and pushed myself in her. I saw her life, her happiness, her joy, and for a second there, I saw me. Staring back at myself. I didn’t like it. But that ended quickly. The blade was quick, and cut quietly. I pushed it deeper into her tiny little body, and felt her guts begin to melt. She squeaked, and coughed. Her little body gave a twitch, and her great big beautiful cold eyes were finally closed. I cradled her in my arms, and pushed our two beings together. A unitary death, and life. I felt it. It seeped through both of us. The high, the pleasure. My drug. I couldn’t resist. My erection poked her dead body. I felt woozey, and disgusted.I fell down, and dozed off.


In my dream there were angels, and they were blazing. Riding and rearing near me, they spat on me. I climbed on them , and off I rode. It was beautiful, and the happiest I’d ever felt, a deep heat piercing my stomache. My mind, felt drugged, but I was pretty sure what I felt was contentness. I didn't care, I opened up...and died.

I woke up with a sudden jerk, surrounded by my friends.The gangs all here. I looked around, disgusted. The dead ones, were really the only ones who got me. But I’m still lonely. A serial killer’s work is never done. I pushed open the basement doors, and a wave of light covered the death and stench behind me. Back to the world I went, and some one was going to follow me down. Soon.I felt to disgusted to think. I stared up at the pale blue sky, and saw her. But she wasn't. Only an angel in my dreams.