Abby is sick of Emma ditching her. Life can never be the same... |
“What the hell is your problem?” That’s what my former best friend asked me after I finally told her how I felt. When I told her that she was being a bitch. Even though it was true. I looked at her. Her streaked blonde hair was pressed to her freckled face. Sweat drenched her brow. Her shirt was halfway untucked on the side. One of her shoelaces was practically ripped off. She looked awful, but so good at the same time. “You’ve been blowing me off for months.” I paused, but she had already interjected in. “You think you haven’t either?” “I-“ I started speaking, but I stopped. In a way, she was right. I hated her for it. She always was right. “Abby, you need to grow up and get over it.” Now my heart was beating a mile a minute. “Grow up and get over it”! Was she kidding me? “Get over it!” I screamed. All eyes were on us. I met Leslie’s eyes over Emma’s shoulder. They were wide with fear. Her head gave a little shake. She was telling me to stop. But, I wasn’t thinking rationally at the moment. All I could think about was how much I wanted to kill her. “Get over what?” Now my voice was soft and my vision was blurred with tears. “You? Get over you? Is that what you want? ‘Cause, really, Fletcher, I can do that.” And I could. I just didn’t want to. “Just leave me alone,” she said, her voice low and cold. “Gladly.” Then, I stormed off the track. What a great end to our first practice. I was so mad I didn’t even think about turning back to look at her. I wasn’t going to give her that satisfaction. I sped off toward the locker room. I yanked the sweaty gym shirt over my head and spun the dial on the combination lock. 30-15-44. That was our locker number. In my fury, I dumped everything on the floor. I picked up my shirt and threw it on. I didn’t even bother changing my shorts. I just wanted to get out of there. Just then, Leslie ran into the room panting. “Abby, what do you think you’re doing?” I didn’t mean to be cold, but I said, sounding pretty mean, “Leaving.” She gave me a look. It was her “I don’t agree with what you’re doing, but I’m not going to interfere” look. For once, I was happy to see it. It meant that she wasn’t going to bug me. I sighed, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Out of the corner of my eye I saw her frown at me, but I just kept going. I jogged until I couldn’t see anything but red. I was sizzling. Being a red-head, I had been told I was a walking time-bomb many times. But, this was the first time I had blown up. Really. Then, suddenly, I felt this urge to look behind me. I saw the sun setting over the top of a distant building. That one was my school. It was known for being the biggest school in Nebraska. Not for shouting matches on the grounds. I guess I was the first. The long run home gave me lots of time to think. I thought about back in the 6th grade when we were so close. When we did everything together. Next, was the beginning of this year. We joked around on the bus to Cross Country meets. Laughing; throwing food at each other; it was the life. Then when she started talking to Amanda. When she started being too busy for me. And when she stopped sitting with me at lunch. And when she ran with Lindsay during gym instead of me. Before I knew what was happening, tears were streaming down my face. Now, I’m sure I looked like hell. Mismatched clothes, sticky skin, messy hair, untied shoes, tear-streaked face; I’m sure it was like I had just came back from the dead. Great. As I walked up to my front door, I cursed. I had left my keys on the floor, in the locker room, where Emma would probably find them. Damn. And knowing her, she wouldn’t return them either. I dug in the soil by the giant flower that’s name I didn’t recall at the moment. There they were! I inserted the metal into the lock and walked through the doorway. I picked up the phone, ignoring the whines of my dogs as they were stuck in their kennels. I dialed the number by heart. “Hi, Mom.” She told me to get a snack and that she was going to be late tonight. “Okay, Mom, see you later.” Then, I hung up. I pounded up the stairs and turned the faucet of the shower on HOT. Like, really hot. I pealed off my clothes and tore my hair out of its ponytail. The steaming shower calmed me until other colors were visible. My eyes drifted shut as I relaxed. I took a deep breath as I stepped out. I could handle this. So what if it was my first big fight with my (ex) best friend? I could deal with it. I could, as she put it, “Get over it.” And I would. Because that’s what she wanted. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I had known that I was going to have to see her again. I mean, she was in my homeroom and my algebra class. Plus, track practice, too. But, I hadn’t known it was going to be so hard. I mean, first, I walk into the gym to wait to be dismissed for class and everyone was looking at me. And, yes, I mean everyone. And I can’t promise you those were, “I like you” looks or “I hate you” looks. For all I know, they could of been, “Your butt’s huge” looks. God, I didn’t know. All I did know, was that it was very unnerving for me. I sat down in my usual spot and Leslie looked at me, worried. “Sorry,” I said. One of the beauties of Leslie was that she knew just what I was talking about, and didn’t pressure me to say any more. She knew that I couldn’t. I sort of felt bad for her. She was friends with both me and Emma. I had put her in a bad position. She had to choose. But, Emma had ignored her, too. So, I hoped that Leslie would be on my side, but I wasn’t going to pressure her. We were in a silent agreement: Neither of us used pressure until we had to. And I planned to keep my side of the agreement. We were dismissed and I headed up the stairs. I walked into the hall. And, oh god, there she was. It was like the whole world stopped. Everyone froze, including the two of us. I guess everyone had heard about it. They all watched us. But, I wasn’t watching them. Our eyes met: ice blue to deep gray. We just stared for what seemed like forever, but must have only been a couple seconds. Then, I looked down. I couldn’t do this. Everything was melting around me. I pushed through the crowd of people and walked to my locker. I put my forehead on the cool metal trying to slow by quickened breath. “Surprise.” A pair of hands snuck around my face to cover my eyes. I felt a smile spread on my face even though I didn’t want it to. “Hi, Solomon.” Solomon was the only guy I could say was actually my friend. He was pretty much everyone’s friend. He didn’t care that I was probably the most un-popular girl in the 7th grade right now. He didn’t care about anything. I suppose that’s why I loved him so much. I turned, sliding my arms around his neck as I said, “So, you heard?” He gave me a sympathetic smile and he said, “Yeah.” I sighed as my hands fell to my sides. “Whatever.” He gave me a quizzical look, but he turned to his locker. Man, everyone was giving me looks lately. First, Emma, then Leslie, then the whole school, and now Solomon. My Solomon. God. The world must hate me. I grabbed my books and, just because I felt like it, I slammed my locker. Hard. So hard, apparently, that Mrs. Feldman, the meanest teacher in the whole school said, “Detention, Ms. Hilfiger, for a week, and try to control your temper.” I stood there with my mouth gaping while Solomon snickered. “Oh, shut up,” I said. Then, I stomped away. He called after me, “Bye, Curly,” using our old nicknames. I gave him a half-hearted wave, still pissed after that incident. Yes, incident was the perfect word. It was just an incident. And I walked into homeroom just as the bell rang feeling sort of pleased about myself. Then, I saw her. And, suddenly, I wasn’t so pleased anymore. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I sat in a chair at the back of the room, finding myself glaring at the back of Emma’s head. Then, I found myself disgusted because of myself. Then, I was disgusted by the fact that I was disgusted by myself. Then, I was just confused. What was I doing? I had to “Get over it.” C’mon, Abby. Pull yourself together. Get a hold of yourself. You can do this. But, it was harder than it seemed. I waited for the bell to ring, staring at the clock. It was ticking slower than normal, I swear. The black, little hand was taking forever. I stared so long that my vision went a little blurry, and I saw double. One really slow clock was enough; two was just torture. Maybe they were trying to torture me. In fact, I was so preoccupied with willing the clock to go faster, that I almost missed Mrs. Hoffmann announce the latest dance. “Class, our last dance, will be this Friday.” Whispering erupted like a volcano. All around me people were saying, “Tommy might… I don’t know… I’m wearing… Oh, yes.” I knew what Emma and I would have been saying if we were still talking to each other. “Oh, great,” I would have been saying. “Yeah, I totally want to go.” She would have stuck her bottom lip out a little and said, “I’ll find you a date?” wiggling her eyebrows up and down. And I would have sighed and rolled my eyes, but I would have ended up there, anyway. The thought had me swallowing hard. I bit my lip until I could taste the bitter taste of blood. It was salty and for a second, I thought that I had started crying already, while I had been trying to prevent that exact same thing from happening. But, I hadn’t been, and thank god for that, too. “Hush now, class.” She wasn’t going to get control of the class now, and she knew it. She just shut up until the bell rang, startling all but me. They all stopped talking and waited to be dismissed. I was up and out of there before anyone had even gathered their books. I was going to get hell for this later, but I didn’t care right then. I really wanted to go home, now. And, oh brother, I had Mrs. Feldman next. Damn. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “After school, or lunch, Ms. Hilfiger?” If I thought everyone was looking at me now, I was sadly mistaken. Mrs. Feldman had barked at me in the middle of the hallway, flagging me down. It was all I could do, to not wave my arms all over the place like she had been doing. But, I didn’t. The good thing was that only Solomon and I knew what she was talking about. The bad thing was that now she had started even more gossip about me. Like I didn’t have enough already. Thanks, Mrs. Feldman. “Um…” On one hand, going during lunch meant that I would still get to go to track practice. On the other hand, I didn’t really want to go to track now. Not after the “Emma Incident.” “One of your little friends is booked this week for lunch if you want to join them?” I didn’t want to get kicked off the team for missing practice for whole week, so I said yes. But, wait, “One of my little friends?” What? Who? I wanted to shout after her, but I didn’t bother. I might get prevented from going to the dance, next. I didn’t doubt that Mrs. Feldman could do it. I scowled as I headed into the devil herself’s classroom. This was going to be a really long day. And it had barely even started. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ At track practice that day everyone was tense. They all looked at Emma and I, waiting for one of us to start yelling. Mostly me, though. We started out with stretches. I tried to relax, but I couldn’t. I needed to be out there running. I needed to get that feeling of being totally free. I needed to get the wind through my hair. I need to feel the sun beating down on my back. I needed to go. But, I couldn’t. Finally, Coach Parker told us to get up and sprint one lap. That was easy. I started at a strong, easy pace. But, soon I saw Emma speed ahead of me. So, I sped up, also. We were in our own little competition. She sped up, I sped up; I sped up, she sped up. Maybe, we always had been. As I tried to keep up with her lightning-fast speed, I thought that maybe we had always been in a competition. Not a friendship. For some reason, that made me go even faster. I couldn’t think about anything anymore. I couldn’t see, I couldn’t breathe, and I couldn’t feel all the pain that was filling me. And none of it was physical. We were way ahead of everyone else. I don’t think I had ever run so fast in my entire life. I was in my own world. A world that no one could get into. Sometimes, I wasn’t even sure I was in it. And as I crossed the finish line I couldn’t help but think that for once, for this round, I had won. And I was proud of it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The next day seemed almost exactly the same as yesterday, except, this time, I didn’t see Emma at all. At first, I was proud, maybe I had scared her off? But, then I was worried; where could she be? I didn’t get my answer until Algebra class later. “Emma Fletcher?” Mrs. Luschen was calling out names for attendance. Emily Goodson called out, “She’s in the infirmary, ma’am. She had a bloody nose on the bus this morning, and it didn’t stop bleeding for a really long time.” She concluded, “They’re really wor-“ But, she was cut off by our math teacher. “Thank you, Ms. Goodson.” Then, she finished, and acted like nothing was wrong. She told us to open our textbooks to page 247, but I had stopped listening. She had a bloody nose? For 4 hours? Yeah, right. I had to know what happened to her. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Immediately before lunch, I went to the nurse’s office. So what if I was mad at her, something was wrong! I was first and foremost a friend, no matter what. I burst in and said, “I need to ta-“ but, then I stopped talking. There, sitting in front of me was Emma in the flesh. And, man, she didn’t look good. Her gorgeous blue eyes were smashed in. Bruises covered all her visible skin. I hoped to god it wasn’t so bad on the parts I couldn’t see. I sank into the chair next to her. Neither of us said anything, but the same thought was going through both of our brains: What are you doing here? Just then, Nurse Nottingham popped in, “Hello, what is your name?” I shook my head while saying, “Abby, ma’am, but I’m just here to bring homework to-,” but I stopped and just nodded my head in her direction. This place creeped me out. It was too white, and too clean. I didn’t like it. I avoided Elise’s eyes as I dropped her books on the table. “Oh, it’s so good to see someone here to help.” The nurse continued, “After getting punched in the face multiple times…” She continued, but I didn’t hear anything else. I turned my head to look at her. Emma was staring down at her lap, ignoring the fact that I was trying to be sympathetic. Distracted, I said, “Well that was it.” I had probably interrupted the nurse, but I didn’t really care. I still had detention. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I tore into the room just in time. Mrs. Feldman frowned at me, but thankfully said nothing. She gestured to a seat at the front of the room. Right next to Mark Edwards. This was my “little friend”? Oh my god. I was in for a week of hell. Let me explain something: Mark Edwards and I, do not get along. We never have. We never will. Nothing can change that. And I mean nothing. She placed two squeeze bottles and two rags in front of us. “Clean all the tables,” she said. Then she left. Mark was smirking at me. “What?” “Oh, nothing.” But, the way he said it made me think that it wasn’t “nothing”. I glared at him for a little, but then I turned back to the table. I gave it a couple of squirts and started scrubbing at what I though was permanent marker. The color had stained the wood well. I kept scrubbing as he said, “It doesn’t bug you that your best friend got beat up because of you?” I spun around so quickly my head felt a little light-headed for a second. “What the hell are you talking about, Edwards?” “She didn’t tell you?” Even if I hadn’t been looking at him, I would have been able to hear the smirk in his voice. “I mean, come on, Hilfiger, all those girls who agreed with you, they messed her up.” I was stunned. I just stood there blinking at him while he grinned at me. I bit my lip and tried to make it look like it didn’t bug me. But it did. It totally and completely did. And he knew it. He walked up to me and slung his arm around my shoulders. “Relax, Hilfiger. I thought you were mad at her, anyway?” I shrugged him off, but for some reason, I answered the question. “I thought I was, too.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Track and Field was even weirder today that it was yesterday. Today, all eyes were on me. Some glares, too. And some very triumphant smiles. They all made me sick. The whole practice was a blur. I just wanted it to be over. I just wanted everything to be over. I took the bus home today. With both of our band instruments and our backpacks, Leslie and I were crammed into the tiny seat. “So…” I was proud of her. She was trying to keep me happy. She just wasn’t succeeding. “Today’s practice was pretty good, right?” I replied with a smile. What I was really saying was, “Today was a hell of a lot better than yesterday, right?” She knew it. I knew it. But, neither of us were going to say it. The brown faux leather seat had “SCREW WITH ME!” written on it in big, bold, blue letters. Pink gum was stuck to the wall in multiple places. I could almost still smell the tangy watermelon flavor. Dirt covered everything. It was disgusting. I almost regretted coming on the bus. But, I didn’t. And it was only because Leslie was there. For Leslie, I reminded myself. So, I stuck around. But, not happily. We sat in silence for a few minutes before I saw a shadow pass over us. I glanced up. The sight I saw almost made me scream. Almost. I saw Carter Forces’ pimply face gleaming down on me. “What do you want?” I shot at him. "You.” He replied simply. I glared at him. I took a deep breath, ready to tell him off, but then he said something that made me stop. “I think your little buddy got what was coming for her.” Then I snapped. The sickening crack of bone pierced the air. I heard the bus driver yell; Carter let out a very un-manly scream; Leslie looked at me like I was a monster. Maybe I was. Maybe I was a monster. “Oh my god,” I said softly, sure that no one but me heard it. “You’re going to have to stay on the bus. I have to take you to the office.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I sat there numbly in the hard wooden chair. I still couldn’t believe it. My parents were coming. I might be suspended. I might be expelled. I might… Oh, god. What had I done? The first people through the door were my parents. Then, Carter’s. Then, oh, wow, Emma and her parents came. I just stared. Emma gave me a weak smile that comforted me more than any thing else. She still cared. She still cared about me. I returned the little smile. Everything was going to be okay now. I was sure of it. Emma knew and so did I. I knew it was going to be fine. The principal started talking. I pretended to listen, but I really wasn’t. I didn’t care what she was saying. Dr. Kingsburg could talk forever about the importance of non-violence in a school, but I wasn’t going to listen. Then, she told us to leave the office. I stood to walk out. But, then Emma spoke. Not to me, or my parents, but to the principal herself. “Abby was standing up for me. For what I did. If anyone should be punished, it should be me.” I turned and said, “You don’t know how much that means, Emma. But, no. You’ve already been punished for what I’ve done.” “Not nearly enough.” I shook my head, but said nothing. And I walked out, knowing that whatever happened, I had Emma on my side again. Everything was going to be just fine. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My parents lectured me for forever that night. “Abby what were you thinking?”, “Abby, why did you do this? Did we cause it?”, and of course, the classic, “Oh, Abby, where did we go wrong?” And I sat on the couch listening, trying to get through to them. I tried to explain to them that they did nothing wrong, but they didn’t listen to me. I went upstairs and scribbled all over the white board in my room. I doodled and drew until my hand had cramped up so badly I couldn’t even feel it anymore. Then, with a mischievous smile, I picked up a thumbtack and poked holes in my wall. All over it. It looked like an army of AK-47’s had attacked my room. Little holes covered the walls until you couldn’t even tell what color it was. I buried my face in my pillow, regretting it before I was even done. I went to sleep unhappy and upset. I didn’t know what was going to happen tomorrow. And I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In the morning, I went straight to the office. I was told to sit in one of those god awful chairs again. I buried my head in my hands. How could such a great life fall into pieces over the span of 3 days. But, then again, was it really such a great life? I mean I- And, yet again, my thoughts were interrupted. “Ms. Hilfiger, the principal would like to see you.” I walked in the room and the first thing I saw was her “I don’t want to do this, but I have to so I might as well smile while doing it” smile. I wanted to smack it off her face. Needless to say, I didn’t. She said, “I think that you have been punished enough. I, with the help of your teachers, have decided that since no bone was broken, you will get a warning.” I exhaled the breath I hadn’t even realized I was holding. “But, I also think that you must have a consequence. Mrs. Feldman suggested that you help clean up after the dance with Ms. Fletcher and Mr. Edwards.” “What did Mark do?” I asked. Then I thought, Mark, I haven’t called him Mark in years! “That is none of your business.” I shrugged. Dr. Kingsburg nodded towards the door, so I excused myself. I was home free. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As I walked into homeroom that morning, everyone looked at me. I was really getting tired of everyone looking at me. I totally wanted to be invisible right about then. But, then I saw Emma smile and pat the seat next to her. I slid down next to her and heard people start to talk. This time, I didn’t care. They could say whatever they wanted. I really didn’t care. They could say whatever they wanted to. I wasn’t listening. Emma whispered, “You going to track?” “Can’t, I got suspended.” "Is she supervising?” She being Dr. Kingsburg. I frowned as I said, “No,” slowly, drawing it out so it took almost a second, instead of a millisecond. She nodded and said, “Good.” I stared at her, trying to get her to tell me what she was planning on doing. And, of course, she totally avoided me. But, she did it with a smile on her face. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I didn’t get to find out about this brilliant plan until lunch, while I was on my way to detention with Mark and Mrs. Feldman. “Meet me in the locker room, after school, okay?” I nodded distractedly. “Sure, whatever.” I strode into the classroom, for once, early. Mark was already there, but Mrs. Feldman wasn’t. “Where is she?” I asked. He shrugged. Yeah, he was great help. “So, I hear you’re my help for the dance tomorrow?” I nodded, and said, “How’d you get into it?” He avoided my eyes and said, “I started a fight.” “You’re kidding me. You had to have known better.” I paused, “Why?” “He was making fun of you.” My face burned and I purposely looked away from him. Then, thankfully, Mrs. Feldman walked in. Right on time. She tossed the cleaning supplies at us and said, “You know what to do.” And we did. That didn’t mean we wanted to do it. Neither of us talked for a long time. Or, at all, actually. When the lunch bell rang, he called after me, “See you at the dance, Abby!” And I couldn’t help it: I smiled. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I stood there, in the all-cement locker room tapping my foot waiting for Emma to show. She ran in, her breath shallow. “Sorry,” she muttered. She grabbed me by the elbow and pulled me out onto the field. “What are you doing? I’m not allowed out here!” She shook her head and said, “No, you aren’t allowed to practice with the team. You are just running.” Slowly, a smile spread on my face. “If I get in trouble for this, you are so dead, Fletcher.” Then, the both of us headed out arm in arm, together at last. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The dance was okay. Loud music and a bunch of teenagers always equals fun, but it really wasn’t all that special. At least, not until after the dance. In all honesty, I wasn’t sure what Emma had done to get there, but I was glad she was there, so I hadn’t said anything. Then, the three of us were left alone to clean up the mess. “Christ, what did these people do?” I was picking up scraps of paper from all over the cafeteria. Mark was mopping the floor. Emma had table duty. I had refused to clean another table in my life. Mark walked over to me and whispered in my ear, “Hey, Abby?” I felt my heart race quicken. He brushed his lips to my cheek and said, “That’s for helping me out all week.” I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t swallow. I was in a state of shock. I saw both Emma and Mark smirking, but to tell you the truth, I couldn’t even think. I was so stunned that I didn’t even here him say, “And this is for being a bitch.” Or, pick up some left over chip crumbs and flick them at my face. Until he had already done it. I gasped and picked up the nearest thing I could find: spaghetti. I threw them at him and ended up hitting both him and Emma. Double score! They were both covered in so much sauce that I already felt satisfied. I laughed as both of them picked up food and chucked them at me. In fact, all of us were laughing. We spent the rest of the night laughing and throwing food and having so much fun I forgot that any of this had ever happened. It was the most fun I had had in a long time. In a really long time. And I enjoyed every minute of it. |