Where the Sunflowers Grow

Chapter One
Rachel

Her foggy blue eyes gazed out of the bus window. She wasn’t in the best of moods.
Today had gone terribly. Not only did she make a fool out of herself in front of her crush,
Nick (a.k.a. Algebra Buddy), but she ruined another chance of a possible relationship.To add on top of all of it, it was only Monday, and she had the rest of the week to go.

Just then, a new boy sat down next to her. Usually, her friend, Jenny, came on the bus with her, but she had a Spanish project to finish up after school. She looked at the boy briefly. He was very good looking, although not her “type”. He had short blonde hair and green eyes. He was somewhat cute, but definitely not for her. She thought a moment and then a light switch flipped on in her head. He would be a great boyfriend for her friend, Jenny. She could see them so well together. Then again, that was only the physical part of it. There was also the personality that she had to think about. Jenny liked shy guys normally. In other words, the guys that were totally safe and completely boring.

“Hey,” she said abruptly.

“Um hey,” the blonde boy said awkwardly. Fireworks had gone off in his eyes as soon as he looked at her. On the other hand, her eyes looked dim.

“I’m Rachel. I don’t think we’ve met,” she introduced herself and waited for Blonde Boy to say something.

“Umm...” he stuttered pathetically. He was obviously in a trance, staring directly into Rachel’s eyes. “I’m Jake.”

“Cool. So are you new here?”

“Yeah. I just transferred over here from Oxford.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” Rachel continued to make small talk for the next few minutes. She soon got bored of him and his voice. She had to ask all of the questions and he kept answering then in extremely short sentences. It was as if it was an interrogation.

“Do you like it here?”

“Yes.”

“What about Oxford?”

“What about it?”

“Do you like it better here or when you were living in Oxford?”

“I don’t really know.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Yeah.”

Rachel decided to end the conversation quickly. He sounded perfect for Jenny. He didn’t talk much, so shyness could be checked off the list and he was boring. Boring for Rachel, meant suitable for Jenny. It was odd how Rachel and Jenny could have stayed Best Friends for all this time. It had been five years now and they were still as close as they had been when they had first declared themselves Best Friends. Although they were so close, they were nothing alike. At least they weren’t alike when it came to the topic of guys. Blonde Boy was a perfect example. He was totally the opposite of what Rachel was attracted to.

“Well, I hope you get by okay here. It’s not too bad if you’re as outgoing as you are,” Rachel accidentally said. It just slipped out. She really hadn’t met to say that.

“What?”

“Never mind.”

“No really, what did you say?” Blonde Boy wondered.

“You know what? I want you to meet someone,” Rachel immediately changed the conversation.

“What? Who?”

“My friend Jenny.”

“Jenny?”

“Yes. I think that you and her could be really good friends. You seem to have a lot in common. Are you into any sports?”

Blonde Boy nodded his head slowly. “Soccer kind of.”

“See! Jenny plays soccer too. I’ll introduce you to her sometime. What grade are you in?” Rachel was becoming excited. Not for herself obviously, but for her friend.

“I’m in eleventh grade.”

“Cool. I’m in tenth and so is Jenny.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Well, I should get going. This is my stop coming up.”

The bus jerked to a stop and the door popped open. Rachel stood up and started walking away. She couldn’t feel it, but Blonde Boy’s eyes were on her the whole time. When she was about to get of the bus, she waved toward him.

“See-ya tomorrow Jake.”

“Um, bye.”

Rachel stepped off and started walking home. It was a gloomy day out. That was the first thing she noticed. The second thing was how bad her feet were killing her. She was wearing heels, like she did every day. She felt the need to be taller, since she was short. If she stood up super straight, held her head high, she reached the grand total of 5’2. She realized that at 15, she probably wasn’t going to grow much more. She decided to take her heels off and walk bare foot. Setting her backpack on the sidewalk, she sat down and took the shoes off, then stuffed them into the backpack. She stood up again and started to walk.

When she could finally see her house in the near distance, she realized a third thing. She did not want to go home. It was probably about 3:00 and her mom wouldn’t be home for another half an hour or so.

Rachel dropped her belongings on the lawn and abandoned them, running as fast as she could in the other direction. She ran and ran and ran, until she couldn’t breathe any more. So, she stopped and took in a huge gulp of chilled air. Her eyes watered from the wind that had been pressing against them and her brown wavy hair was frazzled from the run. As her eyes watered, it became less because of the wind and more because of her emotions. The water that came out from her eyes were now tears. One by one, a tear droplet would fall out, and slither down her cheek. She sat down in the middle of a familiar empty field. Rachel and her mom had gone to the field long ago, when Rachel had only been a few years old. Rachel remembered the beautiful flowers that used to grow in the summer months. There were dozens of sunflowers. Those days had long passed. No signs of life grew in this part anymore.

Since then Rachel and Jenny had claimed the field. After the flowers stopped growing, they had named it the Empty Place. They had made the name up when they still used their imaginations for a “greater cause”—fun. Now that they had put their imaginations away for the time being, Rachel came to the Empty Place when she felt sad. The field was only about two minutes away from her home, so it wouldn’t take long to get back home before her mom returned.

“Why?” Rachel looked up at the sky and fell down on her back. She laid there for a few minutes thinking. Then she asked again, “Why?” She expected no one to answer, and in reality, no one did. But, for Rachel, her inner self answered.

“Really Rachel. How come you mope around all day? You should be happy and yet you are not.”

“But I am. You just don’t get it. I don’t understand myself. I don’t understand why people don’t like me.”

“You mean guys?” Inner Rachel wondered.

“Yes, guys. Why don’t they like me?”

“Blonde Boy seemed to like you,” Inner Rachel pointed out.

“So what? Even if he did, it’s not like I like him back. He was way too shy,” Rachel paused. “Plus, I already told him that I was going to introduce him to Jenny.”

“But you haven’t yet.”

“Oh shut up and answer my question. Why don’t guys like me? Or better yet, why don’t the guys that I like, like me back?”

Inner Rachel had to think about this one for a while, but like always, she came up with something. “You scare them. You’re way too forward. Remember what happened with Algebra Buddy?”

“I ruined any possibility of us ever going out. Yes, I do remember. It happened just today,” Rachel sighed.

“You were way too forward with him. You asked him if he was busy over the weekend and then asked if he wanted to hang out.”

“And he said no.”

“True, but you’ve only known him for about a month. You can’t be so quick with relationships. It’s intimidating.”

“Fuck off,” Rachel spat, becoming upset with herself. She knew that she was right. She was forward when it came to guys. She gave them three weeks to do show any signs of liking her and if nothing happened, and there was no progress, then she gave up on them. She was always the one pursuing the guy. Guys never went after her.

“I can’t fuck off. I’m you.”

“Oh my gosh. I feel like I’m arguing with my own self,” Rachel pressed her hand against her head. She was getting a headache.

“Technically you are,” Inner Rachel laughed mockingly. Rachel began to ignore her inner self and decided that it was probably time for her to leave the Empty Place. She wiped her eyes and went home, feeling as though nothing had been accomplished. That was at least one thing that didn’t need to be argued about.

(Chapter Two Coming Out Soon!!)