No ratings.
Am I the dreamer, or the dream? A brief look at one man’s meaning of life. |
"Wake up" the soft and willowy voice requests. I heard the voice from the back of my consciousness slowly filtering into my reality. What is this? I believe I had just heard someone ask me to wake up. No matter though, the grips of my slumber is too much to deny and I once again fade away. "Waaaake-uuuuuuup" the soft voice summons once again, this time slow and deliberate. This time I am sure that I heard it. My eyes struggle to open, as if I've never opened them before. Slowly I manage to open one slightly, to my horror I do not recognize my surroundings. I sit straight up and scan from one corner of the room to the other. I am in what looks to be a cheap motel room, one room joined by a bathroom. Unmistakable, one bed, a television, a small dressing table, and a shelving system for clothes. "Where am I" I manage to ask but strangely I do not sound like myself. My voice is deep and raspy, it hurts to speak. I attempt to clear my throat but even this sounds foreign to me. The voice startles me once again, "It's of no consequence, you are where you are" the frail voice announced. Terror fills me quickly and thoroughly and I recoil pulling the tattled sheet closer to my chest. Gathering my courage I call out "Who are you?". "What is happening to me? Where are you?" "It is of no consequence, now reeeeellaaaax" the voice suggests. My mind is racing, I don't know where I am, something has happened to me, I don't feel right. The voices suggestion that I relax chills me to the bone. "Perhaps you should get up and take a look at yourself in the mirror, GET UP!" the voice demands. I manage to roll to my right, I tuck my arm under my body and push. I am met with tremendous pain. My shoulder, my back, and my face? Why does my face hurt? I begin to cry. "Why are you crying?" the voice asks. "I hurt" I reply. "Your facial hair is trapped under your palm" the voice says gleefully. "Wait... what.." I look down to see long strands of grey hair trapped under my hand, as I push away the more painful it becomes. "I don't have a beard" I scream. "Are you sure?" the voice asks. "Might I suggest seeing for yourself." the voice adds. I manage to roll over and push myself into a sitting position, I am startled by the sight of my legs, so thin and old. "What has happened to my legs?" I cry "What has happened to me? Dear God help me." "To put it simplistically, your life has been 'moved along' in time, again, it's of little consequence what has happened to you. A more appropriate question would be, why has this happened to you." The voice suggests. I struggle to my feet and head to the mirror on the dressing table. My legs wobble under the weight of my body and I fall to my knees before the mirror, squinting to bring my reflection into focus. The realization slowly begins to set in, I am an old man, my face is weathered and drawn, my hair is long and white, dirty and unkempt. I am an old man. "What has happened to me?" I ask again, voice shaking. "Why am I old? What has happened to my family?" I scream. The voice is silent. "WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY FAMILY?" I scream once again. "Your family... your family has been granted an opportunity to live free, free from you. Free of the weight of your insignificance, believe me, they were far better off because of it." the voice sneers. I am sobbing on the floor, shaking, "But why? What have I done?" "Again," the voice begins, "you fail to ask the appropriate questions, It's all about youuuuu.... 'why me why me' pathetic." The voice growls. "You have been 'moved along' in time in order to reward others more deserving of the time you felt so compelled to squander. You, my child do not deserve of the allocation of another second!" "I don't understand.." I wail "..help me understand all of this." I plead. "I will attempt to explain however, you should not be concerned with the how and why. You should merely feel fortunate that you have any time left at all. You see, time is not the A-Z linear abstract idea that you perceive. Try to think of time as a singular point of light, ever expanding outward in all directions at once. If you occupy any part of this singularity, you occupy all of it. You see, you have been given a gift, this gift you felt compelled to squander thus occupying the singularity with darkness. I refused to allow this to go on. Your occupation of this space was an abomination! This has resulted in your removal of the time you occupied, allowing for others more deserving to occupy this space. Those who sacrificed themselves for a greater good, those who thought little of themselves and selflessly lead lives of great sacrifice. They deserve more, they are more deserving of the time you waste. This time will be filled with happiness and fulfillment for those who have earned it." the voice concluded. "This would not have been possible if you had not have been 'moved along' in time. This created that opportunity" the voice stated. "I still cannot understand what has happened." I cry. "You, my child are not required to understand, you are not required to appreciate what I am explaining to you. You have served your purpose and I thank you. Perhaps you should concern yourself with making the most of the precious time you have left." The voice suggested. "..and my family?" I ask. "The whereabouts of your former family also should not be a concern. They have lived a happy rewarding life without you. You are simply a distant mistake, fading more and more with each passing second. Tick-tock" I fall to the floor and focus on a light fixture above me on the ceiling. "Dear God, give me the strength to wake from this nightmare." I plead. "Me, me, me, it's always youuuuu.... This is why you have become insignificant. Rest assured, you were not the first nor shall you be the last." the voice explained. "How much time do I have left?" I ask. "Be patient, it's almost over. Here they come." With that, there is a loud banging on the door. BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! I am startled, I pull myself on the bed. My eyes darting around the room looking for some place to hide. BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! I cower in terror as I watch the door being forced in. Two men with masks, both carrying small caliber hand guns, possibly .22s rush into the room. They are screaming at me, but I cannot understand what they are saying. One man is especially agitated, he raises his weapon and fires. All is black....... I can hear them in the distance, it sounds like they are tearing the room apart. I am above the room now, looking down. I can see the men searching for valuables. "There's nothing here" one man says. "Nothing at all, no clothes, no wallet, money, nothing!" He shouts. He slowly turns around to find the other man has fallen onto the bed asleep. He drops the items in his hands, he too feeling an overwhelming exhaustion. He takes a step back, and collapses. |