divorce diary

Disclaimer: I will not deny or confirm any of the actions that are shown in this diary. I will only say that I have drawn on many of my own experiences when my parents got divorced 3 years ago when I was 10. All the names are fictional. If you want a nice happy story about a playful little elf, you shouldn’t read this. It’s life. There are no happily ever afters. Thank you.

To anybody who has kids: If you are thinking about divorcing your partner, please take half an hour of your time, 40 mins if you are a slow reader, to read this and try to realise what sort of effect this action will have on your children. You could be one step away from ruining their life(s).
This isn’t supposed to be a descriptive, enticing novel, it’s just supposed to help other kids realised that some people are going through what they are.



Wednesday, 15th of February 2004.

I came home from school today to find mum crying on the stairs. I asked her what was wrong but she just said nothing. I think she was lying but I didn’t push it. So I carried on and did my homework. Played some computer games. Everything your average 10 year old does. I haven’t seen Dad for several days. He always leaves too early in the morning and always comes back at 11 at night, and on some days never at all. He says he has to work late but I don’t think he is. Whenever I have seen him he smells of beer or something else that I’ve never smelt before. I have to go now because I have a drum lesson. Maybe I will write a bit more when I come back, but probably not.
 


Monday, 13th of March 2004.

My good friend Michael came round today. He’s really cool because is never nasty too me. We’ve been friends since kindergarten and we are still friends now. We played some computer games and things like that. At 6 o clock he left. Dad came home early today for some reason. When Michael went dad called me down into the lounge. I wasn’t sure what I’d done wrong so I asked but he just said “nothing we just need to talk”. For a moment a fleeting thought ran through my head. What if they’re getting divorced? I dismissed it as soon as it entered my head. As I entered the living room I saw mum sitting on one sofa and Ben, my big brother, sitting opposite. What the hells going on? I thought. “ Sit down” dad said, quietly. When I was seated he looked at me and said, “Chris, your mum and I have decided it would be best if we lived apart from each other”. I looked from him to mum to Ben. Nobody said anything.  … … … … … Time began to slow down and I felt a huge stabbing pain in my heart. As swiftly as the feeling of pain had arrived it left. I began to cry. Everything around me was whirling and the room was swaying. I ran out of the room, not really knowing where I was going. I ran upstairs into my room and I jumped up onto the bunk and buried my face in my pillow. Some time later, I don’t know whether it was minutes or hours later I heard to door scrape across the floor. I looked up tearfully and saw Ben standing in the doorway. Although he was 10 years older than me he was the only person I thought I could relate to. He walked in and sat on the bunk with me. “Are you ok?” he asked. I said I was and after that we had a long conversation about how it was going to be ok, and he reassured me that I would still see dad. That night I couldn’t sleep for thinking about the rest of the day.

Saturday 2nd April 2004

Today something happened. Something terrible.  Dad took me back to his new house in Bedfordshire and there I met someone, who dad introduced as Sue, she said “ hello Chris, I’ve been looking forward to meeting you.” I went through all the formalities. When I got home again mum was crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said “ dad and sue having been going out for 5 years.” All the anger swelled up in me, shielding me from all other emotions. Right then I realised what I had to do. Everything became clear. But I needed to wait for the right moment.




Saturday 9th February 2008

I’ve been waiting 4 long years for this. And now the time is drawing close. I was helping dad paint his house when he asked “Chris, have you ever thought of living here?” I knew what was coming but I thought I’d play dumb just to mess him about. “ I thought I was staying here for the weekend, that is living here isn’t it?” I replied innocently. “ no I mean, permanently.” He said. “Hmmm, I dunno, how would I get too school?” “it would be expensive, but you could catch the train with me and get a taxi from there. or you could switch school.” He answered. “Well, I’ll think about it.” I said neutrally, but the cordial answer was only superficial. Inside my stomach was turning over. My blood was boiling and I had a hard time concealing my rage. The only thought that was running through my mind was this. In a few weeks it will be over. The punishment fits the crime. And it will be paid in full.




Thursday 14th February 2008



Today is the day. Tonight is the night. It’s half term. I’m at dads house. I made sure that mum is out with lot of friends. Its valentine’s day, and you know what that means. Dad and sue are going to be snogging all the time, getting their tongues round each other’s mouths. Eurgh. Repulsive. But now it’s the end. I slipped a cyanide pill into both of their drinks. They said they’d go to bed early and they’re both dead. Haha. It’s her fault. Nobody understands what it can do. They made me into this. A twisted piece of violence. Maybe the police will see when they arrive. Or maybe not. But someday I hope people will realise that I Am A Necessary Evil.