Shadows of Mind

Shadows of Mind

One of my greatest downfalls in 2003 was that I decided out of the blue that I was sick and tired of disciplining myself and encouraging myself and being kind to myself. So I let myself go... lost all that I had of my will to support myself, especially in hard times. And after all that “letting go”, I am the one who has to pick up the pieces. To pep-talk myself, to kick myself in the behind for results to be kind to myself.

This year has taught me, in hard times lies the true strength of a person.
The ability to handle, forgive, and move on is unique. In a hurtful situation, it takes a whole lot of courage to deal with what has occurred. Instead of self-blame, which is initially the most common thing, try to accept the situation.

All problems seem very complicated when the mind continuously dwells on it. If all problems were seen as equal example: a end of a relationship of any kind and being held up in traffic thus arriving late to work. These two problems are to far apart you may think; however they both bring the same anxiety, stress and general discomfort to you. So in that sense the problems are both the same, so why stress out more on one than the other?

The question then arises, how much stress should one give to a situation? The answer is very minute. As least as possible energy should be expelled. I like to apply the philosophy of “everything happens for a good reason”, and I am sticking to that because it makes me feel better.

We arrive into this world with nothing and we will exit the same way. So using the example of the end of a relationship try and think of it as, “something that was not meant t to be”.
After you get over the sudden waves of emotion that may engulf you, remember your life is a journey and you are not meant to travel till the end with every Tom, Dick and Harry in this lifetime.

Before you start feeling sorry for yourself, acknowledge that you have more to learn (from others) and your friend only accompanied you to the point where they were meant to and not further.

Example 2 : In a traffic jam your aren't going anywhere fast. So relax, listen to music, meditate. Make sure your timing is better next time and apologies for your lateness to boss with honesty.

It's hard to take one's own advice though, and it may seem I am easily dishing out my analysis. But believe me when I tell you that I did do the hard times.

If you are one of those people who is able to learn from other people's experiences, then you are in luck. My experiences taught me if I remove my  emotional-self from frustrating situations like road-rage or stuck in traffic, then the situation has less of a chance to harm my nerves.

One could argue that reacting or not reacting still results in the annoying situations taking place e.g. you are still late for work due to being stuck in traffic.

This is the moment of enlightenment if a realisation of your responsibilities lights up like a bulb in your mind.

You can carry on as much as you like, but feuding with yourself will only result in a no-win situation. So suck it in, take a deep breath and admit it is your fault for being in that situation.

Now once you have recognised that, how can you possibly be mad at yourself? And life goes on...