god i want out of my life

I am confident that there are many people who want to scream this, just as I have done this past week. For some there are some very legitimate reasons to want to escape from the stressful situations in life. Whether abuse, addictive behavior of a loved one or any other stressful situations in life. Yet in screaming this I also realized the extent as to which I did not like the fact that I was screaming this.
It is never easy trying to go alone through difficult situations. With my spirit screaming I began to pray. I simply said “God, I don’t like the way I am thinking and feeling. Please help me find the truth.”
It was in saying that prayer several times for me to receive an answer. There was a prompting in my spirit to study Joseph and consider his life. Joseph was a man of calling and he knew it. He had gifts, skills and abilities that were far above watching sheep.
Joseph was a dreamer, a born leader and his brothers hated him a great deal because of this. In this hatred they sold him as a slave. He was bought by Potiphar, an Egyptian official. We know the story, Pothiphar’s wife lusted after Joseph which landed Joseph in jail. There he sat, a born leader, called by God with no knowledge of ever being free again. God, continued to show his face upon Joseph by putting him positions of leadership all along the way. Each position prepared him for the next one.
This is what we know of the story but I wonder if Joseph ever questioned God. Was there a time, a day, a week that he screamed the very words that you and I have screamed? What can we learn from Joseph and others that can possible help us out today?
David a shepard boy was anointed as king as a youth only to have swords thrown at him in the kings service. As king he did many wonderful things only to be caught in sin and eventually lose his throne to a son who over threw him out of anger. There was Daniel, who endured captivity, the lions den and yet maintained a prayer life that was regular and disciplined and yet did he ever question God’s plan and call on his life? We don’t know from what we read in scripture.
What we do know is what we read about Jesus Christ. In Matthew 26 we read about the last hours of Christ’s life on earth with his disciples. At the last supper he unveils the plot of the one who betrays him. He reveals to Peter and the others their own actions as night unfolds.
At the end of dinner they leave the upper and travel to a the Garden of Gethsemane. Here a story unfolds that shows the very humanity of Christ. One that we ourselves can truly identify with. Christ leaves his disciples to walk further into the garden taking with him three. He leaves them to go even deeper, to be truly alone. It is here we see that his soul is troubled. Not just a stressful job troubled but an overwhelming sense of despair. It disables him and he falls on his face. Knowing the end that he was going to face he cries out to God.
In fact, is it the very same cry that we have. “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” Matt 26:39 Okay so we are not facing death on a cross with all the sins of the world heaped upon us to bear. It feels that way sometimes though. But, oh to be free from the overwhelming burden that we feel we are bearing alone. To have someone who can identify with our pain and agony. If only.
If only the cross that we bear could be lifted and carried by someone else. If only we had a Simon.
Even as I write this my mind is filled with awe and blank for words. For I know that I am not alone. In fact, Christ is with me, carrying my cross for me. He is the great high priest who has been tempted and tried in everyway possible, even onto death. And, yet, he was and is without sin. (Hebrews 4:15)
Joseph, Daniel, David and even Jesus had one thing in common. It was hope. They had faith in the God who called them, created them, lead them and spoke to them. They believed in a promise that was given long before they ever lived. They maintained fellowship with the father even in the darkest moments of life. Their trust was in him who called them and created them.
Jesus Christ is my hope. He is the reason I can live this life in the here and now, the present. I know that he has plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11-14). He has bestowed his promises on me so that I can share them with others. He has been through the same highs and lows of life. He is our refuge, a strong tower and our rock. He is God and because of HIM, I can live. However, it is not I but it is Christ who lives within me.