Knee Deep in the Friend-Zone Chapter 1

Chapter 1

         I wasn’t having the best day in my life.  As soon as my friend Jenna, who I secretly wished could be more than a friend, found out what I’d done, I’d be lucky if she would still want to know me.
The truth is, the pressure got to be too much for me.  I was desperate!  I know you’ve all been there: Everyone is counting on you, your parents are already bragging to everyone they know.  You need to make the grade.  What would you do in my position?  Let opportunity pass you by?
         I’m Robert Isaacs, but everyone calls me Bobby.  Jenna Richards and I have been friends since kindergarten.  Well, that’s where we met.  We were both kind of disasters at the time—I had to wear a brace on my leg because I had broken it in two places falling out of a tree I’d climbed on Labor Day weekend, and Jenna had to wear special glasses a few hours every day because she had what they called a lazy eye.  One of her eyes didn’t see as well as the other, so they gave her glasses with one lens popped out where the bad eye looked through it, and a pitch black lens to cover up the good eye.
The other kids made fun of her, and no one would play with her.  I knew what she was going through; I had trouble making friends, myself.  I was really shy when I was in kindergarten.
One day Jenna sat next to me and said, “Hi, would you be my friend?”  As they say, the rest is history.  But that was years ago.  We’re fourteen now, but we were thirteen when the story I’m about to tell you happened. 
         Personally, I think people should just skip over thirteen.  It’s the worst age to be.  They should place a ban on middle school and let us get to the good stuff: high school, dances, and, marching band.
I almost forgot to tell you: I play the trumpet.
         I still find it embarrassing to talk about what happened, even though it’s been like a hundred years since I did it.
It all began in the spring of eighth grade.  Jenna, my other friend Steve and I were in gym class.
Jenna and I met Steve in the first grade, and we could tell right away that he was really smart.  He had the good sense to yell at the other kids when they made fun of Jenna or me.  So, anyway, Mr. Billings, our gym teacher, was trying to teach the class the joys of baseball.  Okay, so some of us have athletic ability and some of us play the trumpet.  Is that such a crime?  Anyway, it was my turn at bat.  I could feel Mr. Billings’ bulging, bloodshot eyes on me.  I got a really bad cramp in my stomach as I tried to position my hands on the bat the way he showed us to do.
         This girl, Angie, who was destined to be the youngest Olympic gold-medalist baseball pitcher ever, was pitching.  She had an arm that could knock out Chris Kramer, the school bully.  I’ll tell you more about him later.  Anyway, she pitched the ball.  It was just a stupid softball, but when Angie pitched it you would swear it was a regulation-sized hard ball, like the ones they use in the professional games.
         Do you need me to tell you that I swung and missed? 
         “Strike one!”  Mr. Billings yelled out, as if he was a real umpire.  “It’s a baseball bat, Isaacs, not a violin!  Just swing it!”
         Mr. Billings made a lot of us feel like we were worthless.  He had to have known someone in a high place to get away with being so sadistic all the time.
         Anyway, we each got to be humiliated three times before sitting back on the bench.  I readied myself for the next pitch.
         “Striiiiike twoooo!” Mr. Billings yelled, throwing up his hand with two fingers in the air to make sure we knew the number of times we’d failed.  “Jesus, Isaacs, my four-year-old daughter can swing better than you!”
People wonder why teenagers have self-esteem issues.
         Then Angie was kind enough to pitch me a ball I could actually hit.  I ran down to first base as if my life depended on it—which it did, come to think of it.
         Jenna was watching.
         I can’t explain what it was about Jenna.  For years we had been the best of friends.  The three of us were inseparable since the first grade.  Well, not every single minute.  Sometimes Jenna would go hang out with Rainy Jackson and do their mall thing that girls like to do.  Or if Steve were out of town, Jenna and I would just hang out together.  Like last year during spring break, Steve had to go down to Florida to visit his grandparents, so Jenna and I decided to keep each other company and hang out playing video games at each other’s houses.  Jenna would listen to me play my trumpet and tell me what songs she thought were good.
It was great.  We spent the week going fishing, watching movies and riding our dirt bikes.
Jenna was a pretty could dirt bike rider.  There’s this place in the park that has really cool dirt bike paths with hills and ramps and stuff.  When there wasn’t snow on the ground, Jenna, Steve and I would go riding there all the time.  In the winter we’d go ice-skating on the pond.
Anyway, Jenna and I got to hang out over last spring break.
One day we decided we’d ride the paths at the park.  We both got up early in the morning.  Actually, Jenna got up early one morning and came over to wake me up.  Both of my parents had to go to work, but Penny was fifteen at the time, old enough to look after Jon and me on her own. 
Jenna rang our doorbell.  It was like seven o’clock in the morning, so both my parents were awake, getting ready for work.  I could hear what was going on downstairs from all the way in my room.
“Good morning, Jenna.”  My mom greeted her.  “What brings you here so early this morning?  Bobby is still asleep, honey.”
“He is?  He told me to come over as early as I could,” Jenna said.  “He wanted to get a head start so we could get to the dirt bike paths before all the other kids got there.”
“Oh,” my mom said, “Well then, come on in.  You know where his bedroom is.”
“Thanks, Mrs. Isaacs.”  Jenna ran up the stairs.
I could hear her running down the hall to my room, but I couldn’t move.  I didn’t want to get out of bed so soon.  It felt too good to just be able to lie there not having to rush around getting ready for school.
“Bobby!”  Jenna pounded on the door. “Hey!  Wake up!  Get your lazy butt out of bed!”
I pretended to be asleep, but suddenly Jon was shaking me.  “Jenna’s at the door.”
I opened one eye to find my little brother hovering over me, fully dressed.  That was a first.  It was a morning ritual for my mom to come into our bedroom and practically drag Jon by his legs out of bed so he would get ready for school.  I was pretty sure I knew why Jon was dressed now, and I didn’t like it.  He was planning on tagging along with Jenna and me to the park.
“Bobby, get up.”  Jon pulled the pillow out from under my head, hitting me with it.
“Ouch, you jerk!”  Bolting upright, I grabbed the pillow from my murderous freakazoid brother’s hands.  “Cut it out!”
“Bobby, I know you’re awake.”  Jenna was still standing outside my bedroom door.  “I’m coming in.”
She barged in to catch me in my T-shirt and pajama bottoms.  It was really embarrassing, having her see me like that.
I think that might have been when I first started to have these new feelings about her. 
“Bobby, quick, get dressed,” she said.
I jumped out of bed, grabbed some clothes from my dresser drawers and ran past Jenna to the bathroom.  I could hear her talking with Jon, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying over the noise I was making brushing my teeth.  I could guess what the conversation was about, though, by the tone in Jenna’s voice.
Jon was trying to get her to talk me into taking him with us to the park.
After I finished getting dressed, I ran back into my bedroom and put my sneakers on.  My parents had already left for work by the time Jenna and I ran down the stairs to the kitchen.  Jon trailed close behind us.
In the kitchen, Penny sat at the counter in her bathrobe and slippers, eating cottage cheese from the container.  Her hair was a mess.  It was obvious that she had just rolled out of bed.
“No,” I told my brother, “you can’t come with us!”
“Why not?”  His voice was whiny.
“Yeah,” Penny butted in, “why can’t Jon go to the park with you guys?”  It was just like Penny to take Jon’s side.  I always felt trapped when I was stuck in the house with just the two of them.
“Because he’ll just get in the way.”
“I will not!” Jon said.
“You guys are so selfish!”  Penny glared at Jenna and me like we were the two meanest people in the whole world.  She turned to my brother.  “Forget about them, Jon. You and I can hang out together.”
Jon smiled at Penny, shooting Jenna and me a dirty look.  I didn’t feel like staying around for breakfast with the two of them, so I went over to the pantry and grabbed a couple of breakfast bars.
“Jenna, here.  Catch.” I threw one to her.
“Thanks.”  Catching the bar with both hands, Jenna stuffed it into her backpack as we left.
I didn’t know what had started it, but I’d never gotten along with my sister Penny.  She was bossy like my older sister, Stacy, except Stacy was bossy in a protective way, and Penny was just plain bossy.  It was annoying!  She enjoyed torturing me.
I think maybe it all started the day I was born.  Before then, Penny was the youngest, the family favorite.  Then I came along, and suddenly Penny wasn’t the star of the show any more.  Right from the start she was jealous.
Anyway, I was happy to be getting away from her and heading for the park with Jenna. 
“I’ve got an idea,” Jenna said.  “Let’s see who can ride course A the fastest.”
“Okay.  Who gets to go first?”
“You can, if you want.”
“What are we going to use to time ourselves?”
“We can use my watch.”  Jenna unbuckled the wristband.  “See?  It’s got a second hand on it.  We can take turns timing each other.”
“Okay.”  I rode off to course A’s starting line.
Following on her bike, Jenna parked alongside the trail.  “When I say go, okay?”
“Yeah, I’m ready.”  I had my foot on the pedal of my bike, which was in the upward position.  That way my take-off would be more effective.
“On your mark, get set…” Jenna paused strategically, to add a little suspense.  “GO!”
Pushing down as hard as I could on my dirt bike’s pedal, I was flying down the course in seconds.
If I had to ride that course today with Jenna watching me, I would probably have wiped out.  I’d have been worried about making an idiot of myself.  But that day I finished the course in a minute and three seconds, my fastest time yet. 
“That was really good,” Jenna said, “but I can do better.”
She was teasing, I knew.  But she was also very competitive.
“Here, take this.”  Handing me her watch, she glided up to the starting line.  “Okay,” she readied herself on her bike, “go ahead.”
“On your mark.  Get set.  GO!”
Jenna took off like a ball being shot out of a canon.
I watched her, starting to get nervous.  I mean, Jenna is one of my best friends, but I wouldn’t want her to beat me in a race.  I guess that makes me a male chauvinist, but the thought of a girl beating me at a dirt bike race really bothers me.  I’m a boy; I’m supposed to be faster than a girl!  Anyway, as it turned out, Jenna finished the course in a minute and fifteen seconds.  I beat her!
After we rode around some more, we decided to go over to the playground to climb on the monkey bars.  We spent the rest of the morning up there, trying to decide whether or not the Cubs had a chance for the World Series that year.
“I think they’re going to do it this year, “ I said.  “I don’t believe in all of that junk about a curse, do you?”
“No.  I think they’re going to do it this year, too.”  After a while she got tired of talking about baseball.  “Hey, you want to go fishing this afternoon?”
“That sounds good.”
Jenna played with the shoelace on her sneaker.  “I wonder what Steve is doing now.”
“He’s probably at Disney World.  His family goes there every time they visit his grandparents.”
“Where exactly in Florida do his grandparents live?”
“I think he said something about Vero Beach.  It’s only an hour’s drive from Disney.”
“Wow, he’s lucky.  I never went to Disney World.”  Jenna sounded sad.  “I always wanted to go.”
“Why don’t your parents take you and your family there?”
I hadn’t meant to insult her, but I think I did. 
Jenna looked down at the ground.  “My parents can’t afford to take us.”
The “us” Jenna was talking about was her parents, brother, sister and grandmother.  Jenna’s mom is Cuban and first-generation American.  Her grandmother grew up in Cuba; she came here when Castro was taking over, back in the Sixties.  She lives with Jenna’s family now.  Jenna’s real name is Jeneisa.  Her sister’s name is Bonita, but they call her Bonnie.  Her brother Miguel is the oldest.  He goes by Mike, to sound more American.
Since Jenna was all bummed out about not being able to go to Disney World, I tried changing the subject.  “Hey,” I said, reaching in the front pocket of my jeans and pulling out a pack of Bubble Yum.  “Want some gum?”
“No, I can’t.  Remember?  Gum gets caught in my rubber bands.”
Back then Jenna wore braces.  She had to wear these weird little rubber bands in them, and she couldn’t eat a lot of things, like spaghetti, gum, or anything chewy or sticky.
“Oh.  Sorry.”  I slipped the pack of gum back into my pocket without taking a piece.  “You want to get out of here?”
“Yeah, “Jenna said.  “We can go back to my house and have lunch.”
“What about going fishing?”
“We can go after lunch.”  Lying face down across the bars, she reached underneath, grabbed onto the thicker bar and flipped herself over.  After she’d dangled for a while, she then let go, landing on her feet. 
“Come on,” she called up to me.
I turned over, lying across the bars on my stomach and reaching around to grip the two cross bars.  Swinging my legs over my head, I hung from the bars for a few seconds, then let go and dropped down.
Jumping onto our bikes, Jen and I took off for her house.
When we walked through the back entrance to the kitchen, we found out Jenna’s grandmother had just finished cooking a big meal.  “Hi, grandma,” Jenna said.
Her grandmother didn’t speak English very well.  “You hungry?” she asked in a thick accent.
“Yeah,” Jenna answered.  “Grandma, can Bobby stay for lunch?”
Her grandmother smiled at me.  “Si.”
As I sat at the kitchen table with Jenna, her grandmother put a dish of food in front of each of us.  I looked down at the plate in front of me.  Sure enough, it was what she always made—black beans and rice.
I loved Jenna’s grandmother’s black beans and rice.
After lunch, Jenna and I got a couple of fishing poles from her garage, jumped on our bikes and took off for the pond on the other side of the park.  Parking our bikes under a tree, we headed for a bunch of huge rocks, me carrying the fishing poles and Jenna carrying her brother’s tackle box, which she’d brought along.  It was kind of sandy by the rocks, like a tiny beach.  The perfect place to stand or sit and wait for a fish to bite.
Jenna opened the tackle box and looked for hooks to tie onto our fishing poles.
She held up a hook with a blue feather.  “You want to use this one?”
“I guess so.”  She handed me the hook, which I tied to the string of my fishing pole.  She got out the box of lures, like fake bait, and helped herself to one.
I liked using the lures better than real worms.  Not that I mind touching worms; they’re just a pain to dig up from the ground.
“Last one to catch a fish owes the other one an ice cream cone,” Jenna sang out, quickly casting her line far into the still, greenish waters of Fairview Pond.  The water rippled slightly as the lure splashed into it.
“Hey, that’s not fair.”  I pretended to be upset.  “You had a head start.”  I cast out my line quickly.
“That shouldn’t stop a pro-fisherman like yourself.”  She grinned a big silvery grin at me, and I laughed in spite of myself.
Not that I would have minded buying her an ice cream cone.
Hmm, maybe that was when I started liking her as more than just as a friend.
I cast my line out as far as I could, hoping it would go farther than Jenna’s.  It was kind of like I was still competing with her, with everything we did together.  I didn’t want to get her mad or make her jealous.  It was more like I wanted to impress her.
I wondered if she even noticed.
Our lines were dangling in the pond for what seemed like forever without a single bite.  Suddenly I felt something tugging on my line.
“Hey, I think I got something!” I cried out.
“Reel it in!  Quick!  Before it gets away!”
It was weird.  She didn’t show any signs of being jealous, or worried that she might owe me an ice cream cone.  Carefully reeling in my line, I drew whatever had bitten my hook out of the water to find—a fish!  I couldn’t have told you what kind of fish it was, but it had scales and gills and wriggled vigorously as I tried to free it from the hook.
Without hesitation, Jenna dropped her fishing pole, coming over to help me.  To be honest, the fish was maybe only seven inches long, but we hadn’t said anything about size.  A deal was a deal.
“I guess this means I owe you a cone, huh?”  Jenna gave me a smile.
I didn’t have the heart to make her feel like a loser.  “You don’t have to do that.”  Removing the hook from the fish’s mouth, I threw the fish back into the pond.
“I want to,” she said.
“We can just go back to my house.  My mom has chocolate pops in the freezer.”
“Don’t you want a double scoop of chocolate chip cookie dough with sprinkles?”
It did sound tempting.  Jenna knew that was my favorite flavor of ice cream.  There was only one place that sold it—Pearl’s Ice Cream Parlor Emporium.
“That’s okay.”  Suddenly we both heard what sounded like a window being broken.
Packing up the poles and tackle box, we went to investigate the cause of the noise, following the dirt path toward a wooded area.
Chris Kramer and two other boys were messing around near an old shed, throwing rocks at its windows for target practice.
Jenna and I stopped dead in our tracks.  Kramer was the biggest bully in school, and the whole thing kind of freaked us out.  One of the two bigger kids pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his T-shirt pocket and offered one to Kramer, holding up a lighter to Kramer’s mouth.  Kramer didn’t cough or choke or anything; he smoked like he’d been doing it for years.
After we’d stared for a minute, Jenna and I looked at each other and got the same brilliant idea.  We rode away as fast as we could.
Stopping when we were a safe distance away, I said,  “Did you see that!?”
“You think we should tell someone?  Maybe his dad?”
“No!  No way!  Have you ever met his dad?”
Jenna shook her head.
“He’s not exactly someone you’d invite to a social gathering, as my mom would say.  Mr. Kramer came into my dad’s pharmacy this one time pretending he was sick and had a cough, just so my dad would sell him some cough medicine.  When my dad refused to sell it to him, Mr. Kramer got really mad.  My dad thought he was going to have to call the cops.  Luckily Mr. Kramer just gave up and left the store.”
She looked impressed.  I felt nervous all of a sudden.  “Let’s just go back to my house.”
“Wait!  I still owe you a cone.”
“Forget it.”
“A Richards never welshes on a bet.”
I laughed.  “Well, maybe you can buy me a cone tomorrow.”
“It can’t wait.  Come on, we’ll get the cones and then ride straight home.”
Being friends with Jenna over the years, one thing that I’ve learned: Once she makes up her mind to do something, there’s no talking her out of it.
We headed back to my house after the ice cream parlor.  What a great day!
For the rest of spring break we hung out together, going to the park, fishing, playing video games.  Sometimes we missed Steve, though.
If Steve had seen what Kramer was doing that day, he would have definitely done something about it.  Something besides run away.
Eventually school ended for the year.  I was looking forward to summer break.
Before my family’s annual picnic, Steve and I stopped by Jenna’s to invite her to come swimming at my house.  When she answered the door, she didn’t look too good…I mean well.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Um, no,” she said.  “I have a…stomach ache.”
Even though she wasn’t feeling well, she looked…different.  She looked better.  For one thing, she’d gotten her braces off a few days before.
“Jeneisa, venge aqui,” her grandmother called, heading toward the door.  “Jeneisa no come out today,” she told us.  Jenna’s grandmother was pretty old-fashioned and strict.
“Okay.”  Steve elbowed me to follow him.  As we walked back to my house, he started to laugh.
It annoyed me.  “What are you laughing for?”
“Don’t you get it?”
I shook my head, confused. 
“Isaacs, you’re so slow!  Jenna doesn’t have a stomach ache.”
“What does she have?”  I was worried again.
“You can’t be that thick!  Think.  You have three sisters, don’t you?  What do you think could possibly be wrong with Jenna, besides her stomach bothering her?”
I thought hard as we walked toward my house.  The “three sisters” thing was a clue.  Then I stopped in my tracks.  Steve watched the expression on my face change from confusion to surprise.
“You mean she has her…”  I was too embarrassed to say it.
“Our little girl is growing up,” Steve said.
“Shut up.”  I started walking again.
Steve caught up to me.  “What are you acting so weird for?”
“I’m not.  I just don’t like you teasing her or me.”
“Dude, chill.  I don’t mean anything by it.”
“She didn’t look all that sick.”  The picture of Jenna standing at her front door popped into my head, and I thought about what was happening to Jenna.  Before I knew it I was saying, “She looked kind of good.”
Steve looked shocked.
I tried to cover, fast.  “I mean, she looks a lot better without her braces.”
Steve had this look on his face, like he could see right through me.  “You think?”
“Well,” I stuttered. “Yeah.”
“You mean you think she looks pretty?”  Steve cocked his head to one side, narrowing his eyes.  Suddenly I felt like I was being interrogated, like Steve was trying to get me to confess to some deep, dark secret I hadn’t even known I was keeping. “Yeah,” I said at last.  “I guess.”
He smirked at me.  “So you like her?”
“She’s my friend.  Why wouldn’t I like her?”
“That’s not what we’re talking about here, and you know it.”  Steve had me cornered.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  I laughed nervously.  “So I like her, what does that prove?  You like her, too!”
“Not the way you do.  Hey, man, it’s cool.  Ask her out.”
“Cut it out.”  My house was coming into view.  I started walking faster toward it.
“Isaacs!  Slow down already!”
I just kept walking really fast.  By the time we made it to my driveway, I was fuming.
Steve watched me.  “Come on,” he said quietly.  I guess he knew he’d really insulted me.  “Look man, I’m sorry.”
         I could tell he meant it, but I wanted to stare him down a little longer before letting him know that everything was cool between us.  Now he had a huge secret that he could hold over my head if he wanted to.  It made me nervous.
“Hey, are we still going swimming?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said. 
My parents were busy setting up for the picnic when we went into the house.  My dad and my older brother, Kenny, were moving the grill over to the patio, while two of my sisters helped my mom prepare the food.  Jon and Penny were in the pool already, splashing around.  My mom was keeping an eye on Jon from the kitchen window.
Sometimes I wondered if that day with Jenna’s strict grandmother at the door was the start of Jenna acting kind of weird.  For the rest of the summer, when Steve and I would talk about doing something together over the weekend, it would seem like Jenna was trying to avoid us.
Once school started again, I knew I wasn’t imagining it.
It was late September, around my birthday.  I was turning thirteen.
We were sitting in the cafeteria having lunch.
“Hey, Jenna, my mom is having a get-together with my family to celebrate my birthday this weekend, and she said I could invite you and Steve.  Want to come?”
“Well…” she hesitated.  “I’ll have to ask my parents.”
I looked at her.  “Is something wrong?”
“No.  Why?”  She sounded kind of defensive.
“I don’t know, lately it seems like you don’t want to go anywhere or do anything with Steve and me.  I was just wondering what was up.” 
Steve sat quietly for once, sucking down the rest of his chocolate milk.
Jenna looked worried.  What could be bothering her?  “It’s not that I don’t want to hang out with you guys anymore.  It’s just…my grandmother doesn’t think it’s right that I go places and do things with boys all the time.  She wonders why I don’t have any girl friends to do stuff with.”
I had to admit, that answer was pretty lame.
Steve practically coughed up his chocolate milk.  “You’re joking, right?  Is that why you’ve been hooking up with Rainy lately?”
“It’s not my fault,” Jenna said.
“Well then whose fault is it, ours?”
I could see Jenna was beginning to get upset.
“It is your fault,” Steve said.  “It never bothered your grandmother before when you hung out with us.  How come she’s telling you all of this now?”
“I guess now that I’m getting older…” Jenna started, but it was no use.  Once Steve had you cornered, it was nearly impossible to squirm your way out.
“Do your parents agree with your grandmother?”  I tried to stay calm, though I felt a little hurt.
“Well, my mom tried explaining it to her, but my grandmother can be pretty stubborn.”
“It’s Isaacs’ birthday party this weekend,” Steve said.  No one could beat him at an argument; it was just better to give up before he completely humiliated or laid a huge guilt trip on you.  “A real friend would show up at her friend’s birthday party.”
Jenna looked at me.  I looked away.  I can’t explain what it was.  I couldn’t face looking into those sad blue eyes.
Pretty much from that moment on, every time she looked at me, I’d start to get really nervous.  Sometimes I had trouble saying the simplest sentences.
There was something else I noticed about her, too: She suddenly had a…chest.  She was wearing a bra!  Plus after she got her braces off, she had this really cool smile.  She didn’t just smile like the other girls did.  I mean, when she would smile, she sparkled.  (And that was without her braces!)
         She started wearing her hair in this really cool style, shoulder length and kind of flipped to the side—I can’t really describe it, but I liked it.
I don’t know why it happened, but right after she gave me my birthday card, I started acting really weird.  I couldn’t help myself.  Suddenly I found myself feeling the need to ride my bike past her house a lot.  It was like I was desperate just to get a glimpse of her.
I really hoped her grandmother wouldn’t catch me in the act.
Was I turning into a stalker?  Here I was, acting this way about one of my good friends; it confused me.  It got so bad I had to change the station every time that Police stalker song, “Every Breath You Take,” came on the radio.  Even while the whole thing was happening, I really didn’t think of myself that way, though.
I still don’t.
I kept the card Jenna gave me for my birthday.  She’d signed it, “Sincerely, your best friend, Jenna. PS: I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I never meant to hurt you.”
         I couldn’t remember a time when school had ever been so confusing.  Though it could be pretty challenging.  There was band practice, and “Olympics of the Mind” competitions, and—well, I guess I’d better get to it, the thing that got me into trouble in the first place.  The spelling bee competition.
That’s really where my story begins.