Get out of my heart

I'm tired of making the first move
night after night
waiting for your call, anxious, writing you a message
reply? none, seldom, almost never
and my heart crying tears of blood, ventricles vomiting
pain that you inject
and I have to lie to you
because I like suffering in silence

fetish aside,
my heart aches
and I sit, refreshing a page, or memory
and my soul is slowly
fading

away.