An Eve at the Three Pebbles Inn

An Eve at the Three Pebbles Inn

J.G.Green


Freely she spins in the harsh fire light
Seductive dance and lusty sway.
Shamelessly she sins in the pubs by night
Her fleet fingers steal gold away.

                                                            "The Song of the Gypsie"
                                                           


I be Keziah the Gypsie, the Queen o' the Corsairs, mayhaps you 'eard o' me? Well, by any chance, I be sittin'n 'ere in some seedy roadside pub celebratin me latest plunder when who walks in teh the bloomin place but me ol' pal an' bisness partner Cap'n Luis.
         "Hey you ol' sea rat " I yell o'er the din of clankin mugs and shoutin drunks. "Why don't ye come o'er 'ere an' buy yer ol' pal Keziah a drink?"
         "Eh? Do I know you madame?" said Luis, a finely dressed gent who be playin with me fer sure. Of course that ol' dog knew of Keziah.
         "Don't ye be playin me fer a fool Luis, of course ye know who I be " says I, shakin me fist under 'is well primped beard.
         "Oh, calm down you salty lass. I'm just messing with you... umm, Keysha? Kesa?" 'e says with a toothy grin an' a sly wink.
         "Keziah  Fer the last time ye bone'eaded braggart " says I in a most demandin tone. What nerve this scalliwag 'as. I do swear, an ego as grand as 'is wallet.
         "Oh, right... Keziah." 'e says as 'e sittin 'imself down at me table an' orderin two tankards of ale from a pert lil servin lass with golden ringlets. "So, Keziah was it? What brings you to the Three Pebbles Inn? You look more suited to the sea than this old dusty place."
         "Well, let's jes say it be a long an' complicated yarn teh be certain." says I tossin me long bronze locks o'er me shoulder an' takein a long pull on me tankard o' spiced dwarven ale. "Keziah has seen 'er fair share o' misfortune durin the past fortnight lad."
         "Oh?" he muttered archin 'is brow. I could tell he was distracted by that pretty young ting servin up drinks by the bar. What, with 'er sunny 'air an' eyes o' the bluest sea, Keziah could definitely see where the fine Cap'n Emerik would be distracted. Though, she t'weren't as exotic'ly allurin as me. Keziah'd like teh tink she 'ad a certain dusky quality that appeals teh the gents. "Do tell, do tell Kezira."
         "Well, first me crew mute'nied an' threw me o'erboard right off the shore o' Lochdale. Then, the ungrateful bunch o' blaggards that they be, me former crew 'ands o'er control o' me prized ship teh that yellow-bellied sea dog, Raphael the Rogue " after sayin this little bit o' infermation I slam me dainty gloved 'and down real 'ard-like on the ol' wooden table fer dramatics an' teh get Luis's full attention back from that busty servin wench. "After all of this 'appens, an' on top o' the insult o' the situation, I be left penniless an' unarmed since me crew threw me off'n the ship at night. I guess I should be mentionin that Keziah be a sound sleeper, so's when them ruffians hauled me off me bunk, I be sleepin like an inn'cent newborn babe... a drunkin an' inn'cent newborn babe since I partook in a bit o' wine 'fore I hit the sack. Mayhaps I partook in a few bottles too many in 'indsight."
         "Hmm, I've heard of this Raphael the Rogue fella before. Word is that he is a fine pirate, a real upstanding freebooter. Wicked with a blade, and just as wicked when it comes to wooing the ladies in port."says Luis off'andedly, raisin 'is brow teh punctuate 'is sentence. "I reckon your ship is in better hands now Kazidra. Hey, she's a beaut isn't she? That angel at the bar."
         "Better 'ands  Better 'ands  You filty sea slop  The Silver Siren can be in no better 'ands than Keziah's " says I insulted by 'is lack o' concern an' cavilier humor o'er my most tragic situation. "Anyway, back teh me tragic yarn. So, there I be, soppin wet in me shambled clothes on a long an' lonesome stretch o' beach in the dead o' night. Not a single shillin teh me good name. Then, who ye tink I spy walkin 'long the beach?"
         "Hmm, I have no idea. Why don't you tell me lass?" said 'e drollin all o'er the table an' battin eyelashes at that lil philly with a servin tray like an 'ungry wolf.
         "Well, I was gettin teh that ye bloomin fool. Me question was rhetirical." I states 'twixt gruffly takin long draughts off me dwindlin tankard o' ale. "Anyways, so there I be, mindin me own bisness as always, when a white charger comes a gallopin up an 'jacent path somethin fierce. Well, ol' Keziah's eyes be as sharp as any 'awk from me many a year at sea, an' I soon noted the charger's rider. He be a clean cut chap, young kid from the looks o' 'im. But best o' all, he t'was wearin the colors o' a nobleman. Dressed gaily from 'ead teh toe in greens an' golds."
         "So? You spotted the messenger of some local lord taking a late night ride, he was most likely delivering some mundane message at his master's request. Tell me gypsy, is this tale really going anywhere? I could be arranging for my own nocturnal ride if you get my drift." ol' Luis sounded rattled by me yarn. "Don't be wasting my time with paltry tales gypsy. For this is all some elaborate ruse to distract me, and I'm letting you know now that you'll not be picking my purse this eve."
         "Pickin yer purse? Why, Luis, I thought you an' me be chums. I would ne'er even tink o' such an 'trocity." truth be told, I 'ad 'onestly 'ad me eye on 'is purse since 'e swaggered in. It looked full, like a festerin boil 'bout teh pop. Keziah had thought about slippin out a few coins under 'is pointy nose, but I controled me baser urges fer the moment. I 'ad larger fish teh net at the moment. "Well, teh get teh the point, since ye be so bloody impatient, this certain young'n be sportin the colors o' one Sir Alec Romelo. A man who ol' Keziah 'ad 'eard 'bout quite recently. Word 'round Stillmoss be that Sir Alec have riches, so's that got me a tinkin 'bout capturein the lad fer a 'efty ransom..."
         At this point, Luis started a roarin an' a laughin at me. As matter o' fact, 'e nearly tumbled straight off'n 'is chair 'e be so giddy with hilarity. I thought that was a damned rude ting teh do an' I told 'im as much.
         "You ? You were going to ransom one of Romelo's servants back to him?" 'e ejaculated between 'is rumblin chuckles. Tears be wellin in the corner o' 'is eyes by this point. "You were stranded in the dark, half-drunk and unarmed. Oh, please gypsy, do tell me how you planned to execute this brilliant scheme."
         "Well," I continued, givin 'im a very 'airy evil eye across the filty wooden table, "Keziah don't usually 'er plans that far 'n advance. I find that I do me best tinkin on me feet. So's here's what I figered I'd do. I would wait in the bushes 'long side the road, an' when 'e came ridin by... I would leap on out o' them bushes a hollerin me bloody lungs out likes its bloody murder "
         I hollered that last part fer dramatics an' such. The whole pub fell silent. Suddenly all ears be on me an' Luis an' our conversation.
         "Then, I told 'im I'd been attacked by some savage 'ighway robbers. Ye knows the type, them heathens who be known fer their plunderin an' their ravingin o' the lasses. Anyway, I be soaked an' me dress t'were in shambles, so's I t'was lookin the part real nice." I stood up an' began teh pantomime me entire set o' recollections with plenty o' exaggerated motions an' theatrical-like histrionics. "So, there I be, o'costin this young messenger 'long sides the bloomin road likes I said with the screamin and flailin. Well, 'e actually falls fer me actin."
         "Well, well, it seems you are useful for something after all." says Luis in a tone o' voice somewhere 'twixt condescendin an' surprise. "Please, do continue."
         "The young lad must o' been enchanted bys me beauty, 'cause moments later 'e offers teh take me teh 'is next stop, which jes so 'appens teh be this fine establishment 'ere." I made sure teh wave me 'ands about in fawnin admiration o' the Three Pebbles upon mentionin its moniker. I figured such an act o' appreciation might score Keziah another swig o' ale on the 'ouse. "'Ere be the rub though lads... Upon reachin this very inn, the wily ol' Keziah 'ad gotten the trustin lad teh spill 'is guts 'bouts 'is journey. It jes so 'appened that 'e be the bearer o' Sir Alec's token teh 'is lover an' future bride. So's, this infermation gots ol' Keziah tinkin as I sat 'stride 'is saddle. If'n I t'were teh pick this lad's purse an' make off'n with the jeweled trinket that Alec was sendin teh 'is light o' love, well I reckoned that would make Keziah a very wealty lass."
         "Well, did you pick his purse girl?" Luis had suddenly become enamored with Keziah's yarn o' pilferin an' intrigue. I figured that 'ad somethin teh do with me mentionin shiny trinkets. The pirate's eyes 'ad that glassed o'er look in them. A look Keziah knew all to well. Perchance ol' Keziah found a sucker teh buy 'er stolen goods. If'n not, the rest o' the patrons in the tavern had that same look o' greedy lust in their beady eyes.
         "Did I pick 'is purse? Jes who do ye tink yer jawin with 'ere Luis? I be the Queen o' the Corsairs, Bloody Keziah o' the Red Hand, Keziah the Swift-fingered..." I could o' continued fer quite some time fer I be known by many a name, but there went ol' Luis again interruptin me an' tellin me teh get on with it. "O' course I stole it ye ruddy arse  I took the pendant an' more. A few jewels, a few rings, but oh... that pendant be the lovliest ting me eyes e'er did see. Lovelier than the still blue sea waters at night, lovelier than a bloody crimsen sunset, lovelier even than the most buxom wench that even yer filty mind could conjure Luis."
         "Well, if you have it, then let's see it  Prove these bold claims lass." says that scoundrel, slidin 'is chair closer teh mine. I could tell by 'is slobberin jaw that I had 'im sold, an' the size o' that purse at 'is side be tellin me 'e might 'ave jes the weighty price I be askin fer me trinket on 'is person. I slowly reached in'teh me secret pocket on the inside o' me brazier. As I be fishin 'bout 'mongst me ample bosoms, the whole room be gatherin round me table. Their wolfish faces lookin stark in the 'arsh glow thrown off the stumpy candle in the center o' me table. I grin wides showin me pearlies as me 'and stops short in its gropin quest, an' slowly, again fer dramatics, I pulls the long gold chain out from the depths o' me heavin chest tills the glimmerin locket dangles seductively from me fingertips fer alls teh see.
         "Well, I'll be..." says Luis unable teh finish 'is exclamation. Gasps fill the room as I lay the trinket on the rickety stained boards in front o' me.
         "You seem surprised by ol' Keziah's resourcefulness." says I givin Luis a defiant glare. I guess Keziah not be as foolish as 'e first thought.
         "Well, yes. Yes I am. I mean, you don't come across as a very ample thief... umm, no offense Keziah." 'e choked out 'is words in choppy bursts. Ne'er once did 'e look me in the eye, instead 'is eyes t'were constantly locked on the locket. It t'was almost as if 'e were mesmerized by its exquisite beauty.
         "Hmm..." I hummed, tapping me slim finger on me smooth jaw tryin teh look like I was seriously ponderin the situation. "Perchance ye would like teh purchase this fair lil trinket? Fers the right price o'course."
         Mayhaps 'e caught me drift when I glanced in the direction o' the lithe beaut 'e had been eyein up all eve or 'e be one step ahead in 'is own tinkin, either way he was quick teh say, "Name your price gypsy."
         "Hmm, me price not be too extravagant..." I be lingerin again, in me speech, ye alls know why by now, as I twirled the golden locket thoughtlessly t'wixt me fingers. "hows 'bout all o' the gold 'n yer purse an' the promise that ye'll 'elp ol' Keziah gets 'er ship back?"
         "Well," ol' Luis be crafty too, fer he lingered a bit 'imself, mime'n deep thought. I could tell that 'e knew I was not teh be trusted. Keziah be 'round long enough teh know that no trust exists t'wixt pirates an' t'ieves. Finally, Luis broke the silence with 'is answer, "I'd say that is a very fair price indeed. Let's shake on it gypsy and seal our deal with a round of ale for everybody."
         We stood teh shake on our newly sealed pact when suddenly a shout 'rose from the back o' the throng o' rubberneckers an' a great clamor filled the barroom.
         "Seize them " yelled a large brute wearin flashy armor an' wieldin a wicked lookin blade o' fiery steel. "Apprehend the girl, and tie her bonds tighter this time you dogs "
         Two others, equally as dang'rous lookin, shouldered their way throughs the crowd. They be eyein me up with squinty eyes, maces drawn an' menacin'ly rose 'bove their metal capped noggins. Keziah had no trouble 'n seein that they planned teh brain me right 'ere should I not act fast as lightnin. Without a second thought, I grabbed up me pilfered trinket right outta Luis's palm an' drew 'is wicked lookin' rapier outta 'is belt with one fast wrench. Then I vaulted m'self up on'teh the table, brandishin the blade out'n front o' me.
         "Ha  Ye slimy bastards lost me once  An' I evens made of with ye treasure teh boot." says I wavin Luis's steely side arm about me 'ead like a ravin mad woman . "There ain't been a set o' shackles built yet that can hold Keziah prisoner "
         "Get that drunken witch down from there " directed the big ol' bloke in the back. It t'was obvious me heroics 'ad 'im shakin 'n 'is boots. On 'is bloody orders, the two grunts closed in on me. Movin in on either side. I 'ad the tink quick.
         "Come no closer " says I with a flourish of the rapier. "Or I be burnin this whole blasted place down 'rounds yer filty ears "
         The guards tested me threat and inched closer with their bludgeons raised on 'igh.
         "I warned ye " an' with that I kicked the candle 'n the middle o' the table with me boot tip, sendin it flyin 'cross the room. Moments later, a glob o' drippy wax set uselessly on the ale soaked floorboards. No flame, huh, the vi'lent kick musta extinguished it 'fore it hit ground.
         "Are you serious? Is that the best you've got gypsy? Get her down from there." says the guard laughin between his mean lookin teeth. The flankin flunkies continue their advance, no longer concerned themselves with the threat o' a burnin bar. I sighed an' bit me lower lip, but I still raised me sword defiantly before me teh challenge the land-lubbin dogs. Tings definitely t'weren't progressin accordin teh me plan.
         Ka-blam  The sound o' a violent shot almost makes me ears ring as somethin explodes 'bove me 'ead. Wood splinters rain down all 'round me an' the confused ruffians 'round me table, an' a cloud o' dusty black fog fills the air nears me an' Luis. The guards stop in their tracks again, confused as all 'ell.
         "Come on " A gloved 'and grabs me corseted waist and pulls me off the table top. Still stunned m'self by the sudden shot, I find m'self rushed out a door 'hind the servin counter. I soon see that it t'was Luis who be leadin me outta the back.
         "What the bloody 'ell ye tink ye be doin  I coulda taken the whole lot o' those thugs " says I voicin me protest to the dapper pirate as 'e led me 'round the back teh the stables. "What the 'ell was all that ruckus  Ye got some sorts o' magic I don't knows 'bout?"
         "Aye, only if you consider a dwarven flintlock to be magic." says the pirate with 'is usual toothy smile as he proudly displayed a queer-lookin object 'fore me very eyes. With that 'e rammed the object back t'wixt 'is belt and grabbed 'is sword from me fingers. "I'll take that back too, if you don't mind."
         T'was 'bout this time we 'eard a clamor come from the direction we 'ad jes come. Out from the back door rushed the two brutes an' their dim-witted commander. 'E be barkin orders the entire time too, like an angry bulldog who jes lost 'is bone.
         "Here," says Luis jumpin up in'teh the saddle of a fine lookin charger an' handin o'er the reigns o' 'nother teh me. "Hurry blast it  We'll take their horses and be off."
         "I likes the way ye tinks " an with that I swung me lithe body up'n o'er the saddle droppin the much sought after pendant in'teh me knee-high boot fer safe keepin. With a loud shout an' a click o' our heels, the 'orses t'were off an' stormin down the dusty road. We could 'ear the angered yowls o' the soldiers die off 'hinds us as we rode 'way.
         "You owe me you know?" says Luis givin me a world weary grin. "I don't do this for just anybody gypsy. Besides, I get the feeling you weren't telling me the entire tale back there. You were picked up by a lone messenger, huh?"
         "Oh, well, 'e may of 'ad a few friends with 'im at the time. An' those few friends may 'ave been spear wieldin guards who jes so 'appened teh pick me up on charges o' pilferin pockets'n Lochdale. Mayhaps some binders t'were even involved."
         "Say no more." says Luis ridin up besides me, "I honestly don't care. All I care about is that little trinket you promised me back there. As you can see, I made good on my side of the bargain."
         "Trinket?" says I with a puzzled look on me face. "Oh  The locket  Aye, lemme see wheres it may be..."
         I fumbled 'round absentmindedly, mockin a sudden look of concern as I slowed me charger.
         "You didn't  Please say you didn't lose it." says Luis lookin like 'e jes took a punch teh the guts. I've seen me some land-lubbers with a less sickly look on their mugs whilst out teh sea fer the first time. Luis t'was definitely green in the gills.
         "Hmm, Keziah must o' misplaced it." says I givin 'im a grin o' a demon is'self, "But ye stick with me lad  Ye 'aven't seen no adventurin yet like the sorts ye'll see when fightin 'long sides Keziah the Gypsie  Our adventures 'ave jes begun m'boy  Onward, teh riches an' glory beyond our fevered imaginin "
         An with that bold proclomation, I spurred me 'orse forward leavin Luis teh eat me dust. Lochdale lay 'fore us, as did 'is ship the Jade Wind. A fine vessel, with a disciplined crew. Aye, Keziah'd be rightfully back at the helm o' the Siren 'fore the end o' a fortnight, an' with that pleasin thought, a crooked grin spread 'cross me crimsen painted lips.