Lucy In Pepperland

Lucy was beginning to get very tired of sitting confined in her house, bored as ever, on such a nice day. She could even hear little birds chirping outside her window.

         "That's it." She declared, rising to her feet. "I'm going to go outside to enjoy myself and none of you can stop me." She folded her arms triumphantly.
         
         The room was empty. Except for Lucy, of course. Anyhow, she stuck to her word and withing minutes she was down by the small pond, staring eye to eye with possibly the grandest tree anybody had ever stared eye to eye with. (How to stare eye to eye with a tree isn't quite as complicated as one might think. On this particular occasion, Lucy figured the eyes were two odd knots placed almost perfectly in alignment, which, on first glance, could easily be mistaken for two eyes.) It was then that she made her decision to climb it. As she reached her way to the top, a butterfly fluttered straight into her face, catching her off guard and sending her flailing out of the tree. After a hard blow to the head she was sent tumbling down the grassy hill and straight into a large hole that had always gone unnoticed (until now, of course).

         "Where on Earth am I?" She asked nobody in particular, although it could have been taken rhetorically since she was unaware of any presence but her own for the time being.

         "I think you mean, where in Pepperland are you?" A high, annoying voice echoed from the darkness.
         
         Lucy crossed her arms. "I mean what I say. Who are you, anyway?"

         The creature took a step forward. "I am Shoe."

         She became puzzled. "You most certainly are not a Shoe." He didn't actually look like a shoe; he was quite the ugly creature. He had a blue face and a pudgy, brown body resembling that of an over sized gerbil, and no eyebrows (which, upon noticing he had none, made Lucy wonder what exactly the purpose of an eyebrow was).

         "I am so." He persisted.
         
         "You don't look it." Lucy was quite stubborn in this way, always arguing.
         
         Shoe sighed. "And what, may I ask, is your name?"
         
         "Lucy." She replied.

         "Right. And what," he continued, planning his words carefully, "are you?"

         "I'm a girl. A young lady."

         He nodded. "Your name is Lucy, but you're certainly not a Lucy. You're a girl (a young lady). The very same, I can have a name such as Shoe, and yet not be a shoe."

         She nodded, just now understanding and feeling like a fool. This being, she decided not to ask exactly what Shoe was, as not to seem even more foolish.

         "Where did you come from, Lucy?" Shoe continued the conversation, satisfied with his explanation.

         "I came from that hole, right up there." She looked up to point at it, only to find an absence of said hole.

         "There's no hole there." He corrected, assuming it was now his turn to be stubborn.

         Lucy searched above for the hole (with no results) before turning back to face Shoe. "It was there only a moment ago, I'm sure of it."

         "Maybe it was fixed. You know, so the rain wouldn't get in." He remarked, grin appearing on his face.

         "What?" Lucy shook her head in confusion.

         "Little do you know." He uttered.
         
         "'Little do I know', what?" She understood not a word he was saying, even as he was speaking plain English. Lucy hated the feeling of not understanding something, and unfortunately for her, that feeling seemed to be commonplace here in Pepperland.

         "Nothing. Just little do you know." He broke out in high-pitched, almost menacing laughter.

         "You're rude!" She exclaimed in anger, stomping away and leaving Shoe in a huddled mess of laughter. She would have retorted with a remark about his appearance (him being so ugly and all), but she didn't want to be rude.

         Lucy wandered out into the dark nothingness until she could no longer make out Shoe's shrill laugher. Her eyes fixed upon what appeared to be a floating window. It was the only window (or anything) in sight and she presumed it might be wise to examine it.

         She peered through and, to her amazement, on the other side was possibly the most magnificent sight to behold. Everything was colorful and loud. She figured (as any little girl would) that being on the other, more colorful and fun side of the window, would be much more interesting than the darkness she was in now.

         "What are you doing?" The window sprouted eyes, and began to open and close as words came out.

         Lucy's eyes widened, the talking window taking her by surprise. "I'm looking through you." She replied logically.

         "Well," the window uttered in a pompous tone, "I don't condone what you're doing."

         "Oh, I'm sorry." She apologized sincerely, "I should have known better."

         "That you should. But I do forgive you. Might I inquire your name?"

         Lucy nodded. "I'm Lucy, lovely to meet you." She shuffled her feet nervously, "I really hope I'm not imposing, but do you mind if I, um, climb through you? I must get to the other side."
         
         The window rolled it's eyes (as best as a window could roll it's eyes), "I suppose, Martha, my dear, if you must. But first you must say The Word."

         She sighed in frustration, at both the mix up of her name (which she chose not to correct, due to the window seeming incredibly ill-tempered) and the rest of her entire confusing situation. "What could The Word possibly be?" She thought.

         "Because the world is round." She heard a voice whisper. She looked around to find the source of it and caught a glimpse of Shoe, giggling and floating away.

         Lucy smiled successfully. "Is it 'Because'?"

         "That's right." It said in shock, reluctantly opening and letting Lucy pass through.

         With that she hoisted herself up and through the window and went tumbling downward and landing on a pink and orange tiled floor.

         "Oh, where am I now?" She grumbled.

         "Why, you're in The Bathroom." Said a man with green hair and a large red and blue cap.

         Lucy fixed her dress. "But I thought this was Pepperland."

         "It is." He replied, reaching his hand down and helping her up. "The Bathroom is just a district, one of many."

         "How many is many?" She asked, curious as ever.
         The man thought a minute before reaching an explanation. "Well, there are nine main districts: Bishop's Gate, Penny Lane, Lancashire, The Bathroom, Abbey Road, Strawberry Fields, Dakota, Kansas City, and The Isle of Wight. Not to mention there are 788 minor districts. I want to tell you, but it'd take far too long. Anyhow, what is your name, girl? How did you get here?"

         "That certainly is a lot. And my name is Lucy." She shook his hand, not forgetting her manners. "I came in through that window." She pointed at it.

         "You came in through The Bathroom window?"

         "I suppose I did." She shrugged.

         "Well, where's your silver spoon? You must be more careful or the Blue Meanies will be after you!" He put his hands on his hips.

         "Well, I-I.." She stuttered, looking around worriedly.

         "Oh, just come with me." He scoffed and started off in some odd direction.

         She scurried quickly behind him. "Who are you, sir, if I may be so bold to ask?"

         He turned to face her and yet kept walking backwards. "I'm Sgt. Pepper." He saluted her.

         "Lovely to meet you. Are you the king of Pepperland? Or just The Bathroom?" She asked.

         "Questions, questions." He sighed. "I'm neither, actually. We've got four kings for all of Pepperland. They live up in the Yellow Submarine, always messing about and whatnot. But they're lovely kings, really, very friendly." Sgt. Pepper scratched his head, obviously confusing himself. And when one confuses themself, they're very sure to confuse others sooner or later.
         He stopped at a large tree and reached up, plucking one of the silver spoons that the tree seemed to grow as if they were fruit.

         "Here we are." He said, handing it to Lucy. "Be on your way now, and don't lose that spoon!" And with that he vanished.

         Now that Lucy was alone she knew nothing of what to do. She continued on forward, spoon in her pocket, until she came upon a green, whale-like creature wearing a purple hat and seated at a small table. Across from it was what appeared to be a red and yellow striped seahorse with purple hair that stood straight up off it's head. She wondered how on Earth a whale could sit, let alone how either of them could survive without water, but wasn't all that surprised as she'd just finished a conversation with a window.

         "Hello," She said politely, "I'm Lucy."

         The whale laughed loudly. "Lucy? That's the stupidest name I've ever heard!"

         She folded her arms, feeling offended. "Really, now? What's your name?"

         "G-og. A much finer name than Lucy." It smiled a huge smile.

         The seahorse nodded. "Not half as grand as Mustard," (which was it's name) "either."

         "Well, maybe in your opinion." Lucy retorted as politely as possible. She didn't want to anger them as she was about to ask them for help.

         "Look at it's hair, it's all gross and brown." Mustard remarked, referring to Lucy.

         She was getting angrier by the second. "The people down here certainly are quite rude." She thought.

         "And it's dress. What rubbish." He continued.
         
         "I am not an it, I'm a she. I wouldn't refer to you as it." This (obviously) is where Lucy drew the line, being an 'it'.

         He laughed wildly once again. "You could very well call me 'it', I wouldn't mind. 'It' is a lovely word, what with it's two letters, crosses, lines, and dots!"

         She growled with frustration.

         "Oh, don't get so cross, we're just fooling." G-og joined in the laughter, lifting her hat which also served as a teacup and taking a sip.

         "What's wrong with all of you?" Lucy asked in a whiny tone.

         "What isn't?!" Screamed Mustard. "It's always all backwards or forwards! You say why?"

         "I say I don't know!" Lucy responded.

         "Exactly! He's all right, you know. It's all in your mind." G-og dumped his hat full of tea on Mustard's head, who didn't seem to mind (or have any reaction at all, for that matter). "Now what did you even want?"
         "Just tell me how I can get out of this mad place!" Lucy shook her head.

         "You can't." Mustard said calmly.

         "I have to. If I came here, I must be able to leave. It's only logic." Lucy objected.

         "No logic here!" Mustard banged his head down on the table. "After all, you said yourself it was mad." He ended in a whisper.

         "You could always ask the kings, they'd help you out." G-og suggested, as Mustard wasn't going to be of any help.

         "Where might I find these kings?" She asked, a spring of hope in her voice. Pepperland was nice and all, but all the people she'd met so far were quite rude. Not to mention, she missed her boring home.

         "Here, there and everywhere, but mostly up in that Yellow Submarine." G-og said, interrupting her thoughts to answer her previous question.

         "And how will I get up there?"

         "Go and see Doctor Robert." They answered.

         Before Lucy could even ask it, Mustard answered her next question. "To find him, go fifty paces to the right, then thirty paces to the left-"

         "But that's not right!" She interrupted. "Why not just-"

         "Of course it's not right, I said left. Do you listen?" He returned the favor of interrupting. "Now let me finish. You continue on North for about twenty-six paces, and there it is."

         "Thank you both. Goodbye!" She called, running off.

         "Hello!" Mustard replied with a feverish giggle.

         Lucy walked slowly, quietly counting her paces as she continued down the long and winding road.

         "And what are you after?" Shoe suddenly appeared standing behind her.

         She gasped in surprise, turning around. "Oh, what are you doing here?"
         "Just.." He circled her in the air, "checking up on you." He grinned. "And how are you liking Pepperland?"

         She sighed. "Not really sure. It's all too much."

         "Aha." Shoe's smile became wider. "I think I know what you're saying. Pepperland is..." He stopped, as if he was pondering the matter, "terrifying, and yet it is fantastic."

         "Exact-" Shoe had disappeared before she could even finish.

         Not giving it much thought (a wise choice indeed), she continued on. Within thirty-seven paces (about six and a quarter minutes) she approacher a small, colorful hut. As she went to knock on the door, she noticed an orange plaque that read the following:
         Day or night, he'll be there any time at all.
Doctor Robert          

         "Well, I'd fancy he'd be here now." She thought, entering the small hut to find a large, gray creature with tusks, seated in the center of about seven burning sticks that were emitting sweet-smelling smoke from the tops.

         "Hello." She greeted. "Who are you?" (It hadn't even crossed her mind that such a creature might not be able to speak, having been in Pepperland so long.)
         
         "I am The Walrus." It stated in a deep, yet almost soothing voice.

         "I'm Lucy." She smiled. "Is Doctor Robert in?"

         "I am he, as you are he, as you are me and we are all together." The Walrus uttered flatly.

         "You don't look like any doctor I've ever seen. But then again," She pondered, "I've always been fairly healthy, so that's not really saying much. Anyway, I was told to come to you for help, as I'm looking to see the kings."

         "Have a seat." He replied, and she did as directed, seating herself on a small, red cushion directly across from him.

         "Repeat the following:

         'Past grisby trees and hulky builds
         Past ratters and bradder sheep
         In a resus baby stooped
         I wandered hairy as a dog
         To get a goodbites sleep'."
         
Lucy, not wanting to question him as he was trying to help her, tried her best , resulting in the following:

         'Past grisly bees and sulky hills
         Past rattles and braided sheep
         In a reses baby stood
         I wandered hairy as a frog
         To get a goodbyes sheep'.

         The Walrus sighed, possibly in disappointment. "Close your eyes." He continued.

         She sat, eyes closed for only a matter of seconds.

         "Open them."
         
         Between the two of them now rested a cup of tea for each and a sugar bowl in the middle.

        The Walrus exhaled slowly. "Now, Lucy, you must listen completely and fully understand what I am about to tell you."

         She nodded.

         "You see the sugar bowl."

         She nodded again.

         He began to explain. "For each complete spoonful you deposit into your tea, the higher you'll float. Choose your amount wisely. If you consume too much, you'll rise too far up, possibly straight into a Blue Meanie." Lucy reached into her pocket and clutched her silver spoon at the mention of a 'Blue Meanie', heeding Sgt. Peppers' advice. "If you consume too little, you simply won't go high enough."

         "I understand." She said. "Take a bit, but not too much."

         She took his wisdom into account as she picked up the spoon. The size of it was actually rather small. She took a few scoops, counting out loud.

         "One, two, three, four, can I have a little more?" She certainly didn't want to over (or under) do it.

         "Goo goo j'goob." Lucy heard The Walrus chanting.

         
         She took the remark as a no, and sipped her tea down to the very last, sugary drop. Everything around her began to stretch up, even The Walrus' last instructions.
         "Now go outside."
         As soon as Lucy emerged she began to slowly rise. As she floated higher and higher, she could see more and more of Pepperland. A beautiful place, it was. Her head poofed through a rainbow cloud and her eyes were blinded by a bright light. Her rising slowed to a halt and she shaded her eyes, peering at the shining object and revealing it's identity; an enormous diamond. She approached it with awe and began to circle it, running her hand along the side.

         She could hear whimsical music approaching from the distance and turned her head at the sound of a loud whirring noise. It was (not much to her surprise) the Yellow Submarine. The door squeaked open and four men in oddly colored clothes emerged.

         "They must be the kings." Lucy thought to herself. "Greetings, your majesties." She bowed. "I'm Lucy."

         "What's all this 'your majesty' rubbish?" The king with glasses laughed. "I'm John. He's Paul." He pointed towards the one with big, round eyes. "He's George." This time he fixed his finger on the tallest one with longer hair.

         "And I'm Ringo." Said the shortest king with blue eyes.

         "Very nice to meet you all." She smiled, bowing again.

         Paul turned to John and smiled. "The very same here. May I ask what you're doing up here, Lucy? In the sky with diamonds and all that?"

         "Well, I was looking for your help, actually. I'm not from around here." She replied.

         "Ah." John said. "I had a feeling there was something a bit off about you."

         "I think it's something in the way she moves." George added. "I first noticed it when I saw her standing there."

         "Can we continue this inside? I think I left my sliver spoon on the table." Ringo asked patiently.

         They all began to move back towards the ship, but Lucy stayed put, not sure if she was invited.

         "Well, come on, Lucy!" John called. "It's not like you need a ticket to tide, just get on the ship!"

         She scurried inside the door, it closing right behind her. The inside of the ship was a greenish-gray, with thousands of colorful and flashing buttons and such.
         "So, when did you arrive here in Pepperland?" Paul asked, pouring them each a cup of tea with what Lucy hoped was just regular sugar.

         It had seemed like ages, really. She'd lost all sense of time, along with possibly many other useful senses. "Well, it was a day in my life, that's for certain. Possibly yesterday? Or today. Or yesterday and today. Well, if there are eight days a week...Maybe the night before?" She sighed. "I'm really not sure. All I know is it feels like it's been a long, long, long time."

         "A hard day's night, I'm sure. But tomorrow never knows." Ringo shrugged.

         "I just want to get back homeward." She almost felt tears coming on.

         "That's all? John Laughed, "That's easy!"

         Lucy's face lit up.

         "Tom Cruise, take us to The Sea of Holes!" He called to the driver.

         The submarine was off and Lucy stood peering out the window. Suddenly a giant cupcake flew past, causing Lucy to jump back in surprise. "What was that?" She  exclaimed.

         George approached the window. "I think it was an unidentified flying cupcake." He answered.

         "Oh." She nodded. "And there's Shoe!" She exclaimed at the sight of him floating straight towards the UFC.

         "Shoe?" George questioned. "That's not Shoe, that's Jeremy."

         "Really? Ht told me his name was Shoe." Lucy raised her eyebrows.

         "Oh, he's always changing his name!" Paul shouted across the room. "Just last week he had us calling him Hilary!"

         "Listen." George whispered. "Do you want to know a secret?"

         Lucy nodded.

         "Do you promise not to tell?"
         
         "Of course." She replied.
         
         "It's all in your mind. Think for yourself, Lucy." He said.

         Everybody piled onto the couch for the ride.

          "See, Lucy? Things are getting better all the time. You can always get by with a little help from your friends." Paul patted her on the shoulder.

      She suddenly felt a rush of pride, being considered a friend of kings. "My mother should know about this." She thought.

         The submarine made a sharp halt and they all got out, arriving in a white room, covered from top to bottom with what seemed like an endless amount of round, black holes.

         "Where are we?" She asked, inquisitive as ever.

         "Why, The Sea of Hole, of course!" Paul shouted into one of the holes.

         "But how can this be a sea if there's no water?" She retaliated.

         "Why not? It's all just an illusion that people are under., water." George explained. "Like your age. It's all just another illusion. It's nothing to do with how many years old you are, or how big you've grown. It's all down to what your greater consciousness is an if you can live in harmony with what's going on in creation."

         Lucy took a deep inhale of his words, hoping to never forget them.

         "Enough of all that, down to business." John said. "To get back, Lucy, you must count all the holes."

         "But there are so many. I can't do it." She sulked.

         "Aw, Lucy. There's nothing you can do that can't be done. We'll help you." Paul suggested.

         "All together now!" Ringo shouted.

         And with that they began the count. Soon after, G-og and Mustard showed up and began counting as well, followed by Doctor Robert (The Walrus) and Sgt. Pepper, everybody but the window (which was understandable) and Shoe. The entire job took a much shorter time than it would have taken just Lucy alone. Upon finishing, they added up the totals and got four-thousand.

         "Thank you all so much. I practically owe you my life." Lucy thanked them all sincerely.
         
         "No problem. Consider it a gift from us to you." Said John.
         
         Short goodbyes (and hellos, in Mustard's case) were said and the submarine was off, leaving Lucy to return back home. As she approached the last hole, she felt a light tap on her shoulder and was less than surprised to find Shoe smiling behind her.

         "Leaving so soon?" He asked.

         She nodded.
         
         He scratched his head. "How did you ever manage to count all those dreadful holes?"

"It's simple-" She said, "You begin at the beginning, and go until you come to the end; then stop. Plus, I had help."

         Shoe nodded. "Quite simple indeed." He looked around the seemingly endless sea. "How many holes does it take to fill the Albert Hall now?" He smiled, knowing she'd understand him.

         "Four-thousand." She concluded.

         He grinned. "Wonderful. Goodbye." He leaned forward and pushed Lucy, sending her straight into the four-thousandth hole before she could catch her balance.

        As she descended the almost never-ending dark fall through the hole, King Paul appeared floating in front of her.

         "The people of Pepperland have attained a 'cosmic consciousness'." He began. "All the time here, they can see through the roots of the trees in the ground and see the sap flowing up through the ground and trough the tree.

         John appeared next to him and continued speaking. "Because the essence and the cause of everything in the physical world is that pure intelligence that is manifested externally as all these different parts."

         Ringo followed suit, concluding the words of wisdom. "It's the ego identity that fools us into thinking 'I am this body'. Pepperland gives one the experience of 'I am not this body. I am pure energy, soaring about everywhere, that happens to be in this body for a temporary period of time. All you need is love."

         George appeared in front. "Love is the sweet expression of life. It is the supreme content of life. Love is the force of life, powerful and sublime. The flower of life blooms in love and radiates love all around. Everybody has a Pepperland, a Wonderland, a Neverland. No matter what you choose to call it, it's there. You just have to stumble upon it on the right day. It's all in your mind."
         
         Lucy awoke with a jolt. She looked around herself, lying beneath the tree that she'd fallen out of earlier, rubbing her head where she'd hit it. Jumping to her feet, she ran off to tell her mother all about the place she would never forget.

         Little did she know, as she ran through the soft grass, on the other side of the hill a yellow periscope emerged from a small, unnoticed hole. On the other side of the looking glass were John, Paul, George, Ringo and all the others, anxiously anticipating that night when Lucy dozed off, returning to Pepperland once more.

The End
--+--

Dedicated to John Lennon and George Harrison