The Election Year Political Rant

                Yet another election season is upon us, and I am once again afraid to pick up my phone.
         I am about to be flooded with obnoxious, computer-generated phone calls, trying to sell me on why I shouldn't vote for the other guy. In years past, I have received recorded phone messages from both famous politicians and anonymous hucksters. I have never been so popular, or more accurately, my answering machine has never been so popular, because I refuse to pick up the phone. Why do modern campaign managers think that waking people up from naps and interrupting their dinners will make for a more sympathetic electorate?
         Political campaigns have been growing increasingly nasty, not to mention insulting to voters. If you have a modicum of intelligence and wish to make an informed decision, the average campaign material isn't going to help you. I think what politicians, and those who run their elections, fail to grasp is that when they are running for office, they are essentially applying for a management position in a company owned by the citizens. Like all applicants, they need to type up a truthful resume, be on their best behavior, and be prepared to discuss why they're best for the job. How many job applicants in the real world would make the bulk of their interview a discussion of the other guy out in the waiting room?
         "Why should I hire you?" the interviewer might ask.
         "Because you don't want to hire HIM," hisses the politician. "He flip-flops. He snorts cocaine. Puppies don't like him."
         The debates, which are as close to a true interview as we are allowed, are overrun with minutiae such as analyses of who had a sweatier face, who wore what jewelry, and who sneered more. The results are tainted by partisan spin, hereinafter referred to as the s-word, in which party pundits insist that their candidate had the opponent eating dust, regardless of the facts of the matter.
         It's such disregard for the truth that made the last presidential election so distasteful, so unproductive, and so embarrassing. The Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, the phony National Guard documents -- I could rattle off a long list of examples. How could anyone possibly think these actions made a positive contribution to the political process?
         And on a personal level, the next pundit who insults women by saying we will vote for someone who is perceived as handsome will actually make steam come out of my ears. Not only is our gender not that vapid, we're really not interested in any of you. Really, we're not.
         In 2004, the ugliest race here in Southeastern Connecticut was not the presidential race, but a local one. As a non-swing state, neither party ever makes much of an effort to influence my vote on a national level. But our local congressional campaign was reduced to name calling and round-the-clock telemarketing, and reeked of the s-word. The incumbent, with a deeper war chest and the greater ability to purchase rancor, was the nastier of the two. When I complained to someone in his campaign about the multitude of calls that were filling up my answering machine, I was told the calls were not from his official campaign office, and therefore, they had no control over them.
         So, the congressman wants us to believe he can stop Al Qaeda, but he's powerless against his own congressional campaign committee?
         Oh come on!
         The incumbent won the race, by a fairly wide margin. In truth, he has probably done a decent job for this district, even if he didn't think his record was good enough to run on. But I have to wonder - did he win because of the negative campaigning, or in spite of it?
         I have a fantasy in which future elections, maybe even this upcoming one, will focus on facts and issues and be conducted with a little class. I don't care what happened 30 years ago, who inhaled what or who got nailed for driving drunk. I want to know what they plan on doing tomorrow - about affordable healthcare, about boosting the economy, about decent education. I want to hear a plan to bring our troops home to safety quickly without betraying the Iraqi people who were forced to put their lives in our hands.
         I don't want to hear why the other candidate is worse than you, and why I shouldn't vote for him or her. I want to hear about you - why should I vote for you? What will you do for me? What will you do for the nation? Why can't you tell me anything without slick graphics? And why is that too much to ask?
                   Submit a resume before asking me to hire you. Show me a portfolio of your previous work. Behave like a civil human being, and have the leadership to insist that everyone working on your behalf do the same.
A girl can dream, can't she?
         I'm Leah, and I approved this rant.