A Good Son

Mr. R.A. Peters only thought about a few things. He thought about his car. He thought about the war. He thought about his job. Sometimes he thought about his father. His father was dead.

Peters had a Chevrolet. It was an American car. His father had wanted a Chevrolet. He had never bought one. His father told him that American cars were the best. An American man should drive an American car, his father told him. Peters remembered everything that his father told him. Peters admired his car every day. He buffed it twice a week. He drove it on Sundays. He did not allow passengers.
Peters' son was too young to join the army. He was seventeen. Peters did not love his son. Peters' son looked like his mother. He liked to buy suits. He planned to go to business school. He would never join the army. There was a war when his son was seventeen. When Peters' father took him to register for the reserves there was no war. Peters' father was a veteran. He told Peters that to fight for one's country was the greatest honor and that to fight for the greatest country was a double honor. Peters believed everything his father told him.

Peters worked in an office. He typed, he filed, he talked to customers, and sometimes he made sales. He had begun work there when he was seventeen. His father's friend owned the company. He had been promoted once. His father shook his hand and told him that it was time to start a family. His father died the following year.

Peters married the daughter of his father's best friend, Lou Aldrich. Lou's daughter was called Sally Aldrich before her wedding. After her wedding, she was called Sarah Peters. Sarah was pale and thin. She had a short brown bob and gray eyes. She wore pale pink blouses and khaki pants often. She had taught third-grade before her wedding. After her wedding she stayed at home to start Peters' family. She told Peters that she loved him every day. Her favorite book was Wuthering Heights. She had seen a movie version once and cried at the end. She did not cry often.

Sarah named her son Edgar Arthur Peters. She called him Edgar after Edgar Linton and Arthur after Peters' father. Peters called him Bill. He did not want a son named Edgar. Nor did he want to call Sarah's son his father's name. He called him Bill because it was an American name.

Sarah Peters' son called himself Ed. Sometimes he wondered why his mother had not named him Heathcliff or Hareton. He was glad she hadn't. Once someone asked him if he had a twin named Bill. He said that he did. Ed lied often. His father did not love him. Sometimes he thought about changing his name to Bill. He thought it might impress his father. He would never join the army.

Sarah named her daughter Catherine, after Catherine Earnshaw. Sarah called her Cathy. Peters never called her anything. Everyone else called her Cady. Cady looked like Peters' mother. He did not know this. He had never met his mother. Peters' mother and Cady were beautiful. Peters only talked to Cady if she answered the phone when he called home to tell Sarah what to make for dinner. Cady was fifteen. She had the same birthday as her father.

Sometimes Peters fished. His father had taken him fishing once as a boy. His father told him that fishing was invented in America. Peters thought he ought to fish. He thought his son ought to fish. Once he brought his son to the lake. His son was silent and still while they waited. Peters thought he could love him. When the fish was caught, it flapped on the dock. His son covered his eyes while Peters clubbed it. Peters did not love his son.

Once Cady asked to go fishing when she was eight. Peters ignored her. Sarah told her that fish bit little girls. Cady did not believe anything her mother told her. Cady hid in the back of her father's Chevrolet on Sunday morning. Peters did not see her when he got into the car and he drove to the lake. Peters fished all day. Cady hid in the Chevrolet all day. She heard the splash of the hook dropping into the water. She heard the sound of the fish flapping on the dock. She heard Peters clubbing it. She wanted to look. She didn't. Above her she saw sky, blue sky, and one cloud. The cloud looked like a pirate ship. Cady wished that she were Wendy from Peter Pan. Wendy could fly. Cady could not fly. Cady would not come home from Neverland. She would stay with Peter Pan forever. Cady's parents would not miss her like Wendy's parents had. Peters put the fish in a cooler on top of a towel in the front seat and drove home. Cady counted to ten after she heard him close the door of the house. She snuck out of the Chevrolet. She went into her bedroom. Her mother called her down to eat the fish. Cady never climbed into the back seat of a Chevrolet again until the year that she was fifteen. Her father never knew.
Ed graduated high school the year he was seventeen. He graduated early. Sarah smiled when she saw him in his black gown. Peters frowned. Ed made a speech. He talked about Henry Ford. Peters thought his son ought to talk about Louis Chevrolet or the war. Sarah clapped at the end. Peters frowned. Ed's teacher told Peters that Ed was very smart. Peters was ashamed. His son did not play football. His son was on the debate team. Ed's teacher gave Peters a copy of an essay that Ed wrote about him. It was called Mr. R.A. Peters. Ed's teacher thought Peters would like the essay. He didn't. His son did not understand him. His son was not a good son. Peters was a good son. Sarah, Cady and Ed posed for a photo. Peters waited in the car.

Ed went to college later that year. Peters had never gone to college. Peters' father had gotten him a job. Peters worked. Peters did not spend his father's money. Peters did not spend money on Ed. Ed was valedictorian and received a scholarship. Ed hugged Cady and Sarah goodbye. Peters frowned. Cady waved. Sarah cried. Ed did not come back for Thanksgiving that year or any year after that.

Sarah died the following year. Peters let her sister plan the funeral. He attended it. Ed and Cady cried. He did not sit with them. Ed read a poem. Peters covered his face. He left early. He drove to his father's grave. His father had died on that day twenty-one years earlier. He went home.

Ed was there. "Hi Dad," he said.
"Hello, Bill." He wished he would not call him Dad.
"Cady is upstairs. She is still crying."
Peters was not interested. He had no reply.
"I know it will be hard living without her," said Ed.
"I'll get a maid," Peters said.
"Did you love her?" Ed asked.
"Who?"
"Mom. Sarah. Your wife. The woman who we put in the ground this afternoon!" Ed said.

Peters did not understand the question. He did not understand what his son wanted from him. Sons did not question their fathers. Sons did not yell at their fathers. He was ashamed of his son. He frowned.

"Did you?" Ed asked again.
Peters frowned. Peters did not love his son.
"I knew you did," Ed said. Ed did not understand his father.
"Do you have a job?" Peters asked.
"No. I'm studying hard though."
"Did you join the army?" Peters asked.
"Dad, there's a war going on. It's dangerous," Ed said.

Peters went into the other room. He heard Ed climb the stairs. He heard Cady crying.  He wanted to shout at her to stop. He didn't. Above him he saw the ceiling, the white ceiling, with a large rusty water stain. The stain looked like a pirate ship. Peters didn't notice. He sat on the couch. He thought about his car. He thought about the war. He thought about his job. Sometimes he thought about his father, who had died that day twenty-one years earlier. He was a good son.