Jessie Gets Her Goat

Jessica Robinson graduated college with high hopes of forgetting her past and forging on to becoming the high-corporate success she'd always dreamed of being. She hailed from a tiny town in south Louisiana where everybody knew everybody and she'd made certain her grades in school were exemplary so she could win a scholarship to a big-city university and escape her certain demise at home. Now, she has earned her ticket out of that one-horse-town (by the way, the horse has only three legs) and pursue her dreams in a dream world of money, glamour and success!!

As she sat on the veranda of her huge colonial plantation house that she'd inherited from her Cajun grandmother, her mind imagined of corporate balls and elegant parties to which she'd be invited after accepting that position as junior partner in the City's most prestigious law firm. Yes, she would be a fine defender but she loved the social life of Southern elites.

But, there seems to be a dark and distant undercurrent of doom beneath all of this celebration and merriment. Her thoughts are being interrupted by a recurring dream which involves being chased by a goat! A goat?!? She can't understand just why she keeps dreaming of her running through the blackberry patches behind Gramma's house with a Billy goat in hot pursuit...and this is not your regular run-of-the-mill hollow-horned caprine! NO!! This goat was blood red with white polka-dotted spurs all around his body!...eyes as black as lignite and iron hoofs that clacked like wagon wheels on the soft ground...and he was running full-tilt on her heels until she eyed a white picket fence around the other side of the fishing pond. She ducked skillfully to the left, ringed a magnolia tree and headed for the fence. That sudden maneuver threw Ole Billy off just a tad which enabled her to reach the fence, hop over it like magic and land safely on the other side. But, each time in her dream, when she'd turn back to see if the goat had ended his chase, he'd be gone! Vanished into thin air! Then, she'd awake sweaty and exhausted as if she'd actually run the gauntlet.

Jessica had been experiencing these dreams since the day the job offer with the law firm came in the mail. Just think! A "country mouse" like Jessie would become a "city mouse" and leave her hick-town-past at the parish line. But, she was not sure that she could pull it off. Surely, you "can't make a silk purse out a sow's ear" but she was determined to practice all of the "city-fied" poise and grace she'd acquired from observing those rich city girls who attended her college. At first, she'd been shy and a little introverted when she'd started school in the city but she'd acclimated well and was able to blend her back-home mother wit and southern charm into something resembling a classy lady. But that was in school...a controlled environment! THIS is the real world and being distracted by dreams of running for your life from an enraged Billy goat every time you close your eyes is asking for trouble. She decided to get help!!

She'd found the website to The Sleep Lab, a dream analyzer who advertised they could interpret your dreams and tell you what they mean in relation to your life. She knew that sounded silly that someone could delve into your past, present or future by just hearing about your nightmares! But, she knew she had to do something. She would NOT accept this dark lining on her silver cloud! She had to find out!! So, she logs onto her computer, puts the details of her dream in the Sleep Lab analyzer and waited! Then, it popped up! It said that the goat represented "the ability to 'make do' (resourcefulness)" security in one's own self" and coupled with being chased which could "represent a feeling or fear of persecution, hostility, aggression, criticism by another person or by people in general" she dropped her shoulders with her head down and cried! They had hit the nail on the head. Her very own self worth was being determined by her fear of failing!! Why did she feel that she could not cut the mustard in a society she'd worked like a plow horse to become a part of? She'd graduated with honors with a MA in Law and was good at what she does. So, why did she feel inadequate and adrift?

She sat for a while in the darkness of her library with only the glow from the computer monitor for light. The light from the windows fade from orange to grey as the sun sets behind the pecan trees lining that side of the yard...and she dozed off.

She was standing by a punch bowl sitting on the edge of an elegantly decorated buffet table under an oak tree with golden leaves. White rose petals were floating in the wind and Mozart overtures carried on the breeze. A thousand field flowers alternated fragrances each minute and silver moonlight shown down on hundreds of beautifully dressed people who gathered in small conversation groups exchanging pleasantries. She was holding a sculptured wine glass between her well-manicured, diamond-clad fingers. She looked down further at her sparkling glass slippers peeking from under her drop-dead-for bronze Givenchy gown. She looked around her in amazement but felt very comfortable in these genteel surroundings...as if she truly belonged there. She spotted someone she actually recognized over by the veranda and started to walk over to say hello. As she stepped lightly on the dew-swollen grass it felt as if she was floating through the air and her flowing hair moved in slow-motion as she walked. She was surrounded by sounds, sights and smells...and SMELLS! The smell of a GOAT!!...somewhere lingering on the night currents. She dared not to but knew she HAD to turn around and confirm from where that musty arm-pit aroma came. She slowly pivoted on the ball of her glass heels and looked dead into the eyes of Billy!! He was just standing there chewing his cud like he was trying to loosen up a wad of Dubble-Bubble...eyeing her...up and down...maybe, admiring her lovely attire...looking like a crazed Uncle Sam. She swallowed hard a couple of times, dropped the stemware to the ground and hauled butt!! She ran like a bat out of hell down through the back yard out into the blackberry field. As she ran, she could hear those goat hoofs plunging toward her...matching her stride step for step. The hem of her designer dress swished in the wind and she was certain that Mr. Goat would use its flowing train to grab and capture her but she ran on...totally out of wind and unable to put much distance between her and her pursuer because of her frilly regalia. She finally eyed the white picket fence on the other side of the pond (just as she KNEW she would) and headed for its safety on the other side. Just as before, she circled the magnolia tree and the goat slowed down. She jumped the fence, looked back and, not only had the goat disappeared, but everything and everyone was gone!...and the phone was ringing somewhere in the distance.

R-r-r-r-ring-g-g-g-g... R-r-r-r-ring-g-g-g-g. Jessie slowly opened her eyes and realized she'd fallen asleep and been accosted by the "dream" yet again. She groped for the ringing telephone in the darkness and finally picked up the receiver and weakly said, "hello".

"Hey, Jess. This is your favorite first cousin, Jeremy. You sound like you've just finished running a relay! What's up?"

Jessica gathered her thoughts and finally figured out where she was and answered, "Hi, Cuz! I'm okay. 'Just having a nightmare!" and she told her childhood friend about the recurring dream.

Jeremy listened attentively as she relayed the terrifying ordeal she went through each time she fell asleep and shared with him the results from the Sleep Lab.

"Wow, Girlie", said Jeremy. "That dream sounds SO familiar...just like what happened to us one summer when we were little." Jessica sat there with her mouth agape and asked what in the world was he talking about!! Jeremy then told her of one afternoon when she was six years old and he was eight and they were laying on the ground in the front yard drinking sweet lemonade and watching the sunlight pass through the leaves of the old oak tree.

"Remember we use to say that the sun made the leaves look like they were made of gold?" He continued, "We had just decided to get some mayonnaise jars and catch honey bees. We liked to hear them buzz 'cause they sounded like your dad's electric razor. Anyway, we got up and there he was...except it was not a 'he'. It was Annie the Nanny Goat. She had just had some baby goats and was obviously having a bad day when she spied us and decided to take out some of her frustrations on us. She bleated a couple of times, dropped her head, pawed the ground and took off in our direction. You dropped your lemonade glass and we headed for the field!"

He explained that they ran through the back yard and around the pig pen but Ole Nanny went straight through that muddy pig pen with all that red, clay dirt. When she came out of there she was red as the devil himself where the dirt fell off, her white fur stood up like spikes! All you could see were those mean eyes searching for them. They ran like the wind and when they got to the pond, the goat was only feet away and in attack range. They split up, him going to the right and her, ducking to the left, running full-circle around the magnolia tree and running for the fence. He hugged the edge of the pond and met up with her at the rendezvous. This smart maneuver must have confused Nanny because she just stopped in her tracks, turned around and trotted back to the goat pen.

After that display of aggression, Grampa decided to put Ole Nanny on the barbeque pit the next weekend. Jessica drew in a deep breath, said good-bye to Jeremy and hung up the phone. She sat there and tried to relate this revelation to her present-day situation.

She concluded that her fear of venturing off into a brand-new world had been associated with the greatest fear she'd ever experienced but had put into the dark recesses of her mind: being chased by a goat; and the goat, representing her very own ability to succeed, her education, her talents, her dreams and desires had been overshadowed by her fears of not being accepted by the people she was so eager to become one of. But, now, her goat ghost had disappeared into the light of revelation and understanding. She now realized that, just as she had used her own ability and decision-making at six years old, she had that very same power to escape the snares of life itself. She was free to rid herself of self-doubt and fears just as Grampa had ridded her of Ole Nanny.

And she did!

Word Count 1879