The Perfect Football Player

              Over the years the study of genetics has matured; some would even say the study has evolved.  Naturally there were those who were drawn to the science who were more than just mere scientists.  Professor Sykes was one of them.  He was a rare breed in that he was both a gifted scientist and an artist.  His peers were often dwarfed by his knowledge and they were always humbled by his ability to solve seemingly impossible problems.  The day he genetically altered an innocent looking fern into a plant that no longer needed water in order to grow and to thrive was a jaw dropping moment.  However, that day was nothing in comparison to the legend he became when the Commissioner of the Global Football League challenged all geneticists worldwide to create the perfect football player. 
         To the layperson such a request would seem quite foolish and not to mention a colossal waste of money and talent.  However, to the average slack jawed dull-eyed Global Football Fan the idea was something from a dream.  Imagine a perfect football player?  What would one even look like?  They couldn't picture it, or even begin to imagine how to go about it, which is precisely why the Commissioner did not ask the fans to create the perfect football player.  Instead he asked the geneticists, which is how Professor Sykes became not only a legend but also a household name.
         The Professor was not an avid football fan at all, which in hindsight seems ironic.  The reality was that he wasn't even an avid sports fan in any capacity.  To the contrary his main love was reading the great classics and, when he found the time, he would often dabble with painting and sculpting.  Football was never on his list of things to do or even to watch.  The only reason why he became intrigued with the request from the Commissioner was because of his wife.  She happened to be the exact opposite of everything Professor Sykes was.  Where he loved art and science she loved the great outdoors and sports.  The more he would press her to pick up a book the more she would spray him with bug spray and force him to go hiking.  In the end they made a very unlikely pair, which is exactly what made them a perfect match for each other. 
         In any case it was on a Sunday evening that the Commissioner came to the podium in front of an enormous global television audience and made his request.  Of course, to the Professor it was just an ordinary Sunday, but, as his wife pointed out to him later, it just so happened to be Super Bowl Sunday.  It took some explaining but eventually the Professor began to see the importance of the announcement being made on that day.  At any rate, the announcement was made and the Commissioner made it a point to continue repeating the amount of the reward the geneticist would receive upon the completion of the perfect football player. 
                One trillion dollars was the sum. 
                Even the billionaire football players standing around the podium were in shock.  Some wondered and worried.  Their concern was this: if a perfect football player could be made, would that mean they would be out of a job? 
         Little did the players know that Professor Sykes would also solve that problem.  He would manage to engineer a serum that would convert all the players into the perfect football players the Commissioner was seeking.  That, of course, would happen later.  First, however, he had much work to do. 
         The funny thing about football is that since its inception it hasn't changed all that much.  Professor Sykes studied the history and had to laugh.  Genetics had grown leaps and bounds and yet football had remained pretty much the same.  It turned out to be a game of grown men throwing a ball around, wearing helmets and a hell of a lot of padding, trying to get to the opposite end zone.  The more he studied the more amused he became. 
                Such a simple sport and such a simple problem, he thought to himself.
                He went right to work
         During the time he was busy creating the perfect football player other geneticists stepped up to the plate but with often very sad results.  One scientist claimed he had done the impossible and made a huge show of unveiling his creation.  It was on a live broadcast covered by the global news as the creature stepped out from behind the curtain.  It turned out to be a half man half wolf.  The scientist explained that the speed of wolves was his inspiration and therefore the creature could run extremely fast.   
                Unfortunately for the proud scientist there turned out to be only one slight problem.
                At the mere sight of the creature the majority of the reporters covering the event freaked out and ran screaming for the exits.  The reason for this was that the geneticist had done a wonderful job in creating a horrific looking werewolf.  It didn't help that the creature kept howling at the audience and scratching itself either.  It was not a pretty sight and just before it couldn't get any worse the scientist threw the creature a bone in an insane effort to calm it down.  The world watched in awe as the half man half wolf thing grabbed the bone and happily wagged its tail.
         It was not the picture of a perfect football player to say the least.
         Word had it that the Commissioner was convinced he had made a huge error in judgment and he was thinking about retracting his offer.  He even called for a press conference to make the official announcement, but before he could make his statement he received a call from Professor Sykes.  The Professor was finished with his project and he managed to convince the Commissioner to come and look at his handiwork.
         When the Commissioner arrived at the Sykes residence he did not really know what to expect.  Mrs. Sykes met him at the door and immediately went to work at making him feel at ease.  After a round of refreshments and some small talk, her charms worked and the Commissioner felt relaxed.  Being aware that her guest was in good spirits Mrs. Sykes called for her husband.
         The professor walked in and casually shook the Commissioner's hand.  He then went about explaining what he had accomplished.  He explained that he approached the problem by looking at the different issues.  The problem with football players was that they were always getting injured, he explained.  They also needed an inordinate amount of padding for protection and they were highly susceptible to psychological stress because of the amount of pressure that they received to constantly perform.  With these issues in mind he went about creating a perfect genetic combination.  Without getting too technical and avoiding scientific jargon Professor Sykes pulled a remote control out of his lab coat pocket and pushed a button.
         A door opened and the Commissioner's perfect football player emerged.  The player stood about seven feet tall.  He had a head of hair that could best be described as a mane.  The eyes of the creature were golden and its arms were like trunks of a tree.  The legs of the creature were like those of a horse only they still somehow managed to look human.  Overall the creature was handsome and even a non-scientist could see the mixture of man, horse, and lion. 
         "I will show you what he is able to do but before I do that I have to show you something very important," Professor Sykes said.
         The Commissioner just nodded and continued staring at the creation.  Professor Sykes motioned to his wife and she immediately stood up and walked over to a table that the Commissioner hadn't even noticed before.  She picked up a butcher knife that was located there, walked gently over to the creation, and proceeded to sink the huge knife into the creature's chest. 
         The Commissioner gasped in disgust and quickly stood up to leave but as much as he wanted to he found that he could not turn away from the spectacle.  It took a few moments before he began to realize a few things.  The creature had not yelled out in pain and there was no blood.
         "How can this be?"  He asked and managed to sit back down.
         "Just think about it Commissioner.  No more injuries.  No more padding or helmets."
         "How can this be?"  He repeated dumbly.
         Professor Sykes just smiled. 
                The Commissioner shook his head and was still completely dumbfounded.  He watched in awe as Mrs. Sykes slowly removed the butcher knife.  In amazement he witnessed the creature's skin immediately begin to heal. 
                "Just wait until you see him run," the Professor said.
         The Commissioner finally came to his senses.  "Just don't throw him a bone okay.  I don't want see what happens when you throw him a bone."
         Professor Sykes laughed and said, "That's a deal Commissioner.  No bones.  Definitely no bones."