Welcome to Crapville

Chapter 1 - "enter: Mully Mulligrubs"

Slut for a wife...
Murderer for a friend...
Nothing but questions for God in his prayers,
The movie of his life began at the end,
and the end of his mind was the starting to the film.

Opportunities lost are his tears,
but now, he refuses to cry cuz he fears...
that it'd wash away that smile that he bares,
He got it from Luv when they broke up last year,
and though it may seem a little sappy,
He was glad...
that's the first time that he ever made her happy,
So her joy is a badge that he wears!
but his love is a scar that she bares,
and Luv... she stole Mully's heart when she left,
she'd keep it so he couldn't hurt anyone else,
but in the future,
with a little luck,
he'd find a few pieces he could use on a slut.

And his mother and his sister you will learn of later on...
I'd give u a brief history but even that is long...

We might learn about his father...
but we know he is gone...
but gone from the story?...
i assume i am wrong.


...And so enters Mully Mulligrubs.
Pray he prolongs his suicide long enough for us to have a story.



Chapter 2 - "The Curse of Crapville

Black...not really his colour of choice but the choice colour of his life. (A crow caws, a lightning bolt flashes). The sun dims at the mere mention of his name...(Thunder rolls, a bird falls from the sky).
Okay, not really. I just thought a sinister beginning and sinister end would be less of tragedy than a bright start and a ill-lighted, shady finish. I thought I would spare you the grief. But grief didn't spare him so why should I be easy on you. So from here on no more lies...if you keep reading I'll keep on being honest.

So here we go...

Truthfully, Mully was of bright and cheerful demeanor. The kind of person who wears a yellow t-shirt and a bright pair of eyes on a bad day. The kind of person who kept smiling long after that cheerful clown at "The Happy Circus" lost his. You know... that person who could look at the "bright side" of perpetual darkness. Well that was Mully. Well that was Mully before.

But poor Mully Mully Mully. He would find out he had a disease called "Fucked-Up-Life". Affectionately nicknamed "The FUL's disease", anyone who died from it was called a FUL (pronounced fool). A disease only people who lived in Crapville got...sooner or later. Everyone there knew about the disease but they were more comfortable pretending that they didn't. In fact it was Taboo to speak of it.

And when the first unfortunate victims died of it mysteriously (eye wink), the people of Crapville ignored it completely or at least pretended to. The family of the victims were so ashamed that they got rid of the bodies secretly. At most times a bloody process which involved the hacking of limbs. Then they would put up fliers with the picture of the deceased with big, bold, capital letters underneath which said "MISSING".

Eventually, though, the task of getting rid of the body themselves was beginning to prove tedious to the families. And with the increase in deaths related to "F.U.L" they were beginning to run out of space to post up their fliers. Since, obviously, no one on the posters were ever found, their posters had to remain up. The families of those unfortunate victims who brought shame to them even after death, feared that removing the fliers without proof the missing person had returned, would arouse suspicion; more suspicion than the supposedly uncaught kidnapper.

The mayor of Crapville, Mayor Mannoc, an ex conman (though the "ex" part seems to totally disappear on occasion), came up wit a genius plan on how to keep the existence of the disease under wraps and please the people of Crapville. This, he thought, would definitely ensure his place for the next election. Although that didn't take much, since the only other candidate was a previously convicted murderer, Falter Innocence. I would tell you about Falter right now but he deserves his own chapter. Besides i was talking about the plan Mayor Mannoc came up with...stop interrupting me!

Now anyone familiar with the disease would obviously know it's symptoms and what they led to. But assuming you are one of the only two people in the world who is probably clueless about it, i will explain it to you...try to keep up. The first and earliest sign of the disease is noticed when the victim begins to display an unexplainable and rash dislike for the sun, rainbows and little pink ponies (probably the reason for the extinction of the specie, which, was of abundance in Crapville). The most serious symptom, though, is what brought the victim's end. It is the unsanctioned and absurd illusion that the suffering of everyone and anyone around them was caused by they themselves and to put and end to the suffering of others they would have to terminate themselves. Most times this was carried out in secret by the diseased. For the delusional thought that if the others, to whom they supposedly caused suffering, found out, they would discourage them in a very selfless and noble manner. Again i say "DELUSIONAL".

yes...now back to Mayor Mannoc and his genius plan. Yes the plan. Oh the plan. But seriously...yes the plan. The plan was to remove the blame and shame from the surviving family members. Since "the FUL's disease" was hereditary, though it sometimes skipped a generation, Mayor Mannoc suggested to the village's secret council, with much approval by them, to make the result of the disease appear to be a totally conscious but selfish act on the part of the diseased. Thus removing their families' input from the equation. This pretense and elaborate cover up was to be named "suicide".




Chapter 3 - "The Grand Exit"

Mully...he had a thirst like none other. It began just behind his nose and ended a little before his neck met with his shoulders. He could feel the dryness beginning to burn a hole in the back of his throat (another hole he could use to scream out "the world is foul! and i am chicken"). He did not thirst to be like someone else, like most of us do though. He longed to be himself, well how he was before. That is, before he found out he had...(I simply can't bear to say it). I will say this though...he longed to be once more, a lover of pink ponies and sunshine and a rider of rainbows. Or is it a lover of rainbows and sunshine and a rider of pink ponies? (Is it me or does this sentence sound wrong both ways?) Either way though u get the point.

He wanted things to be like they were before. Before his father left. Mully couldn't remember exactly how it happened. It's not because he didn't want to. It was just that it seemed so distant and dream-like that he still can't believe it happened, far less replay it as a logical chain of events.

Lucky for you though, his mom is hot and I had installed some spy cameras to see that hot thing take a ba.....errr....ummm...I mean, I heard it from a reliable source the exact chain of events which led up to his father's "early retirement" from parenting.

It was a very complex situation and probably a heart wrenching decision for Mully's father. He must've spent so much time wrestling with his mind as to what would be the best thing to do. He was the best father. How could anyone think less? Especially after hearing it exactly as it happened. No twists in plot, no Hollywood elaborations built on that tired lie -"based on a true story." Nope, and none of that "it's a story so we need a villain" bullshit to sully his character.

(Cue: flash back waviness....oh wait, this whole story is a flashback...okay no flashback waviness. I refuse to rely on cheap clichés and inappropriate jokes to keep your attention. Well maybe just one flashback wave but all the way at the beginning.) It was a rainy day, just like it was everyday in Crapville. The chilling wind of despair blew eastwards, just like it did everyday in Crapville. Mully was busy munching down on a slightly toasted, butter and sliced banana sandwich. His father was busy fumbling with an over-sized newspaper (more paper for more Crapville crap i guess, coincidently "Crapville Crap" was the name of the Crapville paper). His chair was slightly tilted back, just enough so he could comfortably place his feet on the dinner table. Mully glanced at his mother in between bites. She was busy in the kitchen but she kept stealing glances at his father and smiling. He new she was mad at his father for having his feet on the table. It was a giveaway to Mully because he knew that she smiled whenever she didn't like something. It was a beautiful smile, but the reason she smiled would always creep him out a bit, and a banana slice going down the wrong way was what shook him out of the trance this time.

A short but violent cough cleared his throat...too bad it wasn't so easy to clear his mind. And with that, he was back to munching on his sandwich but with his next bite he bit off way more than he could chew, so to speak.While he was forcing his saliva-covered portion down the right passage this time, he could feel something coming up at the same time. A feeling of helplessness engulfed him. It seemed he'd been trying to suppress whatever was coming up for ages. He thought that he had tightened his throat muscles for what seemed to be months...for it hurt him like he had done exactly that. But in reality and anticlimactically so, it was a battle that only lasted seconds, before, uncontrollably, he blurted out "I hate fucking rainbows...and pink ponies sicken me...and don't you get me started on sunshine!"

And those where the words that set Mully's father on his feet, suitcase in hand, hat on head - tilted to cover his eyes. It was almost like his suitcase had been pre-packed should just an occasion arise. It was almost as if his dusty black suede hat was always snug on his head, hiding the shame in his eyes that had infected his soul, causing it to fester from years of guilt born from knowing exactly what he would do if ever he had to choose between his family and his pride. In fact, Mully wasn't too sure but he could almost swear that he'd never seen his father's eyes. The hat wasn't the reason though. He just hadn't ever thought of looking up...to him.

And with his back turned to Mully (which ironically sums up their whole relationship), he started marching towards his "doorway" to freedom. It was no surprise to his wife. Who, hunched over the bin in the kitchen, clearing food off her plate (apparently she'd had too much), heard her husband's suitcase hit his thigh. It, sadly, was not before she heard Mully's first declaration as a FUL. She knew instantaneously, that her husband had chosen to bow out...ungracefully. Carried on the wind of desperation, she stepped silently in between him and his "doorway" to heaven, just as he was stretching out for the golden doorknob. The words formed just under her tongue "take me with you," but before she could open her mouth to say it, he saw it in her eyes. He brushed her gently but firmly out the way, opened the "doorway to elsewhere" and just before he stepped out of their lives, he stared outside and into his future and said to her, " he needs you Llyone, and one day she'll need you." And with that, his wife smiling and his daughter nowhere around, he left them. A memory, from the time he closed the doorway to hell behind him.



Chapter 4 - "exit: Father"

(in the voice of a son)

The door shuts,
Its the only thing I'm sure i hear...
And as the light from the outside thins away,
I become lost in the darkness of within,
Blinded by its echoes,
Deafened by its brightness.

And as my senses are confused,
I swear I hear you say, you love me...
But your footsteps were too loud for me to be sure,
For even now they echo in my mind,
'cept they become louder with every memory they bounce off,
And they muffle everything I was sure of.

And as i am unsure,
I doubt the fact that you ever cared...
For I remind you of yourself,
And you are not too fond of that,
Because in me you see the lost cause your father saw,
And in me you see the disappointment your mother saw.

And as you know I'm you,
You know my future,
You know my mother will only hate me more,
And my father will only love me less,
But what chance did i ever have besides that,
I didn't grow up to be a disappointment...
I was born one.



.....end of sample