Trouble and Other Shortcomings(2)

The Truth about the Fan

A thing to note about magic:

Everything you heard about magic is probably true. Even the ones that contradict each other. For example, if you heard that fairies were evil little beings that annoy travelers and trick people into doing things they really ought not to do, that was probably right. If you also heard the fairies were good beings, pure and help out young girls wandering around forests...that was probably true too. Because here is the truth about magic: it is so confusing that nobody knows how it works. Half the things you heard were completely made up by people who wish there was magic. The other half is completely made up by real magicians who have no more of an idea what they are talking about than those poor souls who wish magic was real.

Granted, there were rules; it is just no one knows what they are. Magic is not science, after all. Science can be analyzed and tested. Not so for magic. There is no scientific method of experimentation, no laws to be proven by math, and though there does seem to be many limits to what any person or group could do with all these spells, it seems to vary from person to person and from group to group in no particular pattern.

So last night Anna and I discovered I had healing powers, and that I had the ability to make items glow. Healing is supposed to be a conscious endeavor. In my case, it was not; anything I touched would be healed. Completely. This includes disease, allergic reactions, things that I am not even consciously aware of. Anna and I figured this out when she realized a bruise on her hip, which she got when she smacked herself against a door, had disappeared the next morning when it was not supposed to.

Light, or lighting, was also supposed to be a conscious endeavor. Would I be complaining if it was a conscious endeavor? And in fact, it turned out all of the unicorn light powers I had, ended up going on and off randomly all throughout the night even though I was sleeping. This included making things invisible. Thank goodness all of this started off small–I had only made tiny things disappear and glow. This restriction did not last.

But that is later. Right now, clueless about this whole deal and only knowing that I was in deep trouble, let us just say the next few days were interesting.

" I feel like Rogue." I complained the next day, which was Tuesday, a day both Anna and I get to wake up later. " You know, from X-men. Except I don't put people into comas. I give myself away by healing every single blasted injury they have."

" Well you wanted to be a doctor."

" This would make my life easier if I use it correctly." I imagined being some cancer doctor, treating a patient with third stage cancer. A pat on the forehead, and the cancer is gone, patient is happy, family is happy also. Go me. Then I imagined having to explain to the other doctors how I managed to do it. " Or maybe not."

" You also have that invisible thing." Anna laughed at me. " Except for thermal cameras–actually, even those, if you're capable of controlling the entire spectrum.” (I was, which became another problem.) “ You'd lead a very successful life in crime."

" I'll keep that in mind." I replied dryly. We had to get ready for class. Something that did not require any abilities to heal or glow. " You know, I thought my life is complicated enough with just orgo?" And while saying my toothbrush disappeared while one of my pencils started flashing like a walk sign. I was starting to lose my temper over this. “ Good thing it only does it to small stuff. I might get away with this.”

" Mimi, you can't seriously think these things make your life more complicated!"

" They're certainly baffling me in a way you wouldn't believe. Notice how I am not trying to do any of this."

Anna had to concede it was fair. And, as there are way too many other things to keep track of, I prioritized things in my mind and this magic thing went behind everything else. After all, it was only tiny things. And they pass quickly.

Tuesdays and Thursdays we had chemistry lab lecture and the room they gave us had no air-conditioning and no fans. " Well you have windows," They said to the professors. Like blasted windows would help when it is nearly ninety degrees outside. This was the particular class I bought that fan for. I heard that in the winter they were going to refurbish the room. Well whoever is in here during the spring semester will undoubtedly appreciate that.

" Are you sure it is a wise idea to bring that thing?" Anna asked when she saw me take the fan from my desk. " What if that unicorn pops up again?"

" I think I have enough presence of mind to pretend to be as astonished as everyone else." I replied. " Although that is assuming everyone else could see it." I suddenly remembered. " You know, I'm out of my league here. I don't even know what I should watch out for."

" Well you can't anticipate everything." Anna replied, a statement I had often used to annoy my parents whenever they blame me for a bad grade. " Just go with the flow. And if things people notice things glowing and disappearing…"

“ Just notice it too and gape?”

Going with the flow was easy, mostly because nothing of note happened. We went to lecture, the professor went over the basic concepts of everything we already did in lab. Seriously, we only go to lecture for the lab reports, because they are always at least a day later than the actual experiment. Though not as bad as a stuttering professor, this one borders on the group classified as "useless". I sat in the front row waving my fan back and forth, realizing as I did so that bringing a fan in class had a side-effect I did not anticipate–the professor got very distracted. She did not ask me to put it away, and it was very hot anyway, so I kept it out and cooled myself while everyone glared behind my back. There were no unicorns, which was always a plus. And I noticed that nothing flickered on and off, though at the time I had attributed it to better control and did not think more of it, other than to secretly cheer to myself that I had gotten rid of a problem.

After lecture, Andreas called me.

" Mimi, come eat with me."

"Andreas, I have psych recitation."

" Since when did you have psych recitation?" Andreas never remembers.

" Um, since the start of the semester. Andreas, I have psych recitation every Tuesday."

" But how come you were able to eat lunch with me last week?"

" The TA let us out early. Look, I have to go." The phone glowed when I pressed the red hangup button, and I had to hide it before someone sees. Blasted unicorns. I thought. It is always the pretty ones that are the most trouble. Then I headed to class.

Andreas stayed mad at me for "ditching" lunch all night and the next day. He does that way too much. Just to give an idea of the types of people I have to deal with on a daily basis. Without unicorns.

After making various things light up (thankfully no one was in the hallway) and accidentally curing someone's cold sore (I think?) along with causing some people to ‘misplace’ various belongings, I finally made it through the day and went home to see Anna. I was supposed to have lab later that day, but I had finished my experiment early and did not really want to risk making things disappear or glow there.

" Wonder if there's a school for this, like Harry Potter?" She exclaimed when she heard the details.

Ha! Fat chance! What are they going to teach, that they do not know a single thing?

" Well if there is one," I replied, since I did not know everyone was as clueless as they were and the idea was very welcome at the time, " I hope they send me that blasted letter soon so I can settle this." Because who knows how long I could keep this under wraps, and that is assuming Anna does not slip.

I guess I could take pride in the fact that despite having all these diversions with unicorns and glowing fans, I was still able to complete all of my assignments on schedule. I guess that is the gift of being a nerd. In any case, once I finished my biochemistry assignment and answered the psychology questions amidst things flashing and disappearing (said things getting progressively and noticeably bigger), Anna and I went out to dinner because she did not feel like cooking for herself.
We went and ordered bubble tea and a meal at a Chinese restaurant that served greasy dishes, chatted about various other things like Disney movies and Pixar, then on our way home in the hot muggy streets I came upon the answer to all my questions.

The answer to all my questions was this egotistical fellow named Daren, whose manner and character would put Billy to shame. Considering I came from New York, I told myself I deal with people like this all the time, even though that is not quite true. In any case, Daren, the answer to all my questions, came upon me because he recognized my fan. How he recognized my fan when there were tons of other fans out there is pretty amazing, but I guess since I was the only person carrying it around the city, it was not that incredible.

His first words to us were " Where did you get that?" And a point to the fan I was holding and fanning myself with. I figured out more from his tone than from his question that he was accusing me of doing something sinister.

With a dry look, I responded, " I bought it?" How else was I supposed to get a fan, other than find it lying somewhere?

He gave me a look. " Hm." He replied. " What's your name?"

I raised my eyebrows and smiled, half in bafflement. " I'll tell you if you tell me." I was beginning to think, at the time, that this stranger probably knew what was going on.

Which, of course, he did. He told me he was Daren, and I told him I was Milan, that the girl next to me was Anna. He asked if anything strange happened with the fan.

" Well, a unicorn popped up." I managed to say with a straight face. " Now I am making things glow and healing everyone."

He took it seriously (as well he should, because I was being perfectly serious) but glanced questioningly at Anna, who nodded and said, " She's right."

Daren was a Caucasian-looking fellow with red hair curly hair and blue eyes. He looked to be in his late twenties, dressed in a polo shirt and dark pants, and had a thick, serious brow. His face is relatively symmetrical, which meant his reserve on the outside matched his reserve on the inside. A very boring guy, very annoying and always criticizing me for being merely a ' Tamer' and not knowing more about magic, even though he barely knew anything worthwhile himself. He did have a very aristocratic-looking face, something one would call metallic, with a high nose and sharp features, so even though he never said it I guessed he was someone of high rank. He spoke with a strange accent; it did not seem to be from a particular area, which I am not surprised about. I am more surprised that he could speak English in the first place, and that I could understand him. As it turned out, a lot of wizards could speak English, though English was not as predominant amongst them as it is with us.

He was a wizard. And unfortunately he was actually a good person. Otherwise I would not waste my patience on him.

" We were looking for that." He said, gesturing toward the fan. " The old Tamer died, and his fan was lost. It must have slipped away and chosen you."

This conjured up the image, in my mind, of the fan sprouting legs and scuttling away. " That's very nice," I remarked. " Do you want it back?" I was wondering if, perhaps, when I give the fan back, everything would return to normal.

This was where one of the unspoken magical rules suddenly blossoms to life most inconveniently.

" No, that is not allowed." He said a little scathingly. " The fan chose you. You are the new Tamer."

Silence fell.

" Do you care to elaborate?" I demanded. " What on earth is a Tamer?"

" The Tamer is the Lord of all Beasts." He said a little disdainfully. " As Tamer you are to ensure none of the creatures trespass their boundaries."

I had the impression that the Tamer was not exactly a respected title. " Alright...so I get to lord over things like unicorns."

" Why would you be a Tamer?" Anna wondered. " And why does she have healing abilities?"

" You were lucky." Daren replied. " The unicorn is one of the gentler creatures. Now that the Tamer died, all the beasts have run loose. You better get to work."

That was very rude, and I told him so. " Who says I have to do anything?" I told him. " I can sit here and let those beasts run loose. i value freedom as much as the next person."

" If you don't," Daren warned, " The council will kill you and find a new Tamer."

" Council?" So apparently the magical world has a council because magicians, like normal people, do not know what is good for themselves. Go figure that any council of any place would exploit the 'weak' and 'dispensable'. " Well how, mister, am I supposed to round up a bunch of unruly animals, dare I ask? I am a college student, very much without magic, thank you very much!"

Come to think of it, I probably should have paid more attention to the “ Kill you” part of his sentence as opposed to the “ Council”.

" You are supposed to harvest the powers of the eight Mystical Lords, using the Iron Fan." Daren said this like it should have been obvious.

" Which are?" I prodded.

After an impatient inquiry into whether I knew anything, which I adamantly declared I did not and whose fault was that, he listed, " The Unicorn, Dragon, Firebird, Hellhound, Bahamut, Onza, Ala, and..." He took a moment to remember, " Callisto."

Anna and I both stared at him like he was mad. My first thought was Callisto? Isn’t that some Greek woman?

" Do you know what they all are?" Anna asked me.

" I know what a dragon is." I replied. " Though, given the unicorn was nothing like what they said, except for the horn, I'm not so sure I even know that."

" Well you better get to it." Daren replied. " I have to report back."

" What?" I cried out, but Daren had disappeared as soon as I blinked. " How on earth am I supposed to harvest...this is nuts."

" Well he's gone now," Anna pointed out the obvious. " I don't think any yelling would help."

" This is so stupid!"

So I went home, and instead of working on my courses I took a look at what all of the animals he had named even were. At the time I did not even remember all of them, only something called Ala, the Dragon, firebird, hellhound, and Callisto, which was not a woman but was one of those Greek nymphs who slept with Zeus. When I reached Google and was confronted with a list of potentially several hundred different mystical creatures, I decided that it could potentially be a lot worse than simply harvesting from eight different animals.

After reading up on them, I decided I was in some serious trouble. For one thing, all I could do was heal everything I touched and make things glow or make them invisible. They seemed inclined to go either way when I try to focus, and when I do not focus, obviously objects just randomly glow or fade.

" Maybe you should figure out how it works." Anna said, as she watched me struggle with dozens of things in the living room that were winking out of existence or flaring in many colors. It was starting to get more conspicuous. “ The whole lighting thing. And fast.”

A knock sounded on our door, and Anna went to answer while I tried to keep everything normal. Daren was back.

" How did you find us?" Anna was puzzled.

" Once I met you it was easy." Daren replied. Which did not make sense, but that is magic for you. " What the blazes are you doing?" He snapped at me.

" I would love to tell you." I said dryly, " But I am currently trying to figure that out myself."

" Stop trying so hard." Daren scowled. " The trick is to not try so hard."

Which is not the trick for other things, but apparently it works with unicorns, because once I gave up everything went back to normal. For a while, anyway.

" What are you doing back here?" Anna asked. " Have you told the...the council of yours?" She had been laughing earlier at the absurd idea that in addition to unicorns there is now a magical council, and had been hopeful that there was a Hogwarts out there somewhere. She probably would not have laughed that hard if I told her I would have been killed if I did not comply with their orders, but I forgot about that part myself.

" I am supposed to make sure you gather all the energies." Daren did not look too enthusiastic at the prospect. " The council believes you will need some help."

" Bless the council, they are actually right." I replied. " For one thing, I am a college student. I do not have time to go around hunting mystical beasts." This is insane! " Here, take the fan back."

" I told you I can't."

" Well you're going to have to." I insisted. " I have an orgo exam to study for on Friday and I'm not wasting precious time hunting for animals."

" Listen, you don't understand." Daren folded his arms. " You have to. The only way to transfer Tamers is to kill the first. There is only one Tamer at a time."

" Well I quit," I emphasized, failing to comprehend while this idea is so hard to accept. I think it was because I was finding this magic business too ridiculous to take seriously at all, because once again, the ‘killing’ part went over my head. " You know, as in, I stop work. Someone else can take this job."

" No one else can." Daren threw up his arms and stared at Anna. " Is she always this stubborn?"

" Mimi, I have a feeling that assertiveness is not going to work here."

I flopped back on the couch (I had been standing when he entered) and muttered, " Well, is this the kind of thing that is done overnight? I'll deal with an all-nighter if it's quick."

" No." Daren cocked his head and imitated my tone, " The beasts happen to value their freedom. It could potentially take days, weeks, even months."

" Oh good!" I chirped, remembering that I have to write up a hazard's index for one of my chemistry labs. " Then we work around my schedule. As I said, orgo exam this Friday, biochem homework due tomorrow, along with my psych homework. I'll deal with your smelly animals over the weekend."

" Milan, I need you to come with me. This is not something you can sit back and wait on."

" I will sit back and wait. You know why?" I was shorter than Daren, but that did not mean I was afraid of him. " Because I did not choose to get this strange job of yours. I bought a fan in order to cool myself off. Now you have busted into my life, therefore we are going to work on my own terms. You can go tell the council to go screw themselves if they protest." My AIM made a loud resonating sound, announcing that someone just sent me a message. I stopped to take a look. " What did you do to Andy." I read out loud. " Ugh, not this again."

" She is right about one thing–she's kind of in the middle of things at the moment. We all are. There's no deadline for this, is there?" Anna tried to reason with Daren. " I mean, as long as she is working on it."

Daren sighed. " I'll go see." In a blink of an eye, he was gone again.

" This is one bizarre dream." I said to Anna when he left. " And it's long. It's a dream right? Because this is ridiculous!"

" Good luck." Anna had nothing else to say.

Fortunately for me, I guess, Daren managed to convince the council (or whatever it was) that I had other responsibilities just as important as going around seeing their favorite animals. I forgot to call my parents last night because of all the excitement, which they yelled at me for the next day when I did remember to call (egh, what can I say? There is really nothing I can say). I guess looking back, if I was going to have a bizarre wonderland adventure I might as well have it while I was in college, because any other time would be just as inconvenient.