Take The Money and Gun

                                          (Take the Money & Gun)

         “How long have you been doing this?”
         “I believe it’ll be 15 years in November.”
         “God damn Tom I don’t know whether to applaud or say sorry.”
         “Well sure it may be a thankless job but, at least it’s an honest living.  It got both of my daughters through college.”
         “Yeah I guess.  Here grab that end.”
         “Wow that’s the heaviest one I’ve ever felt.”
         “Yeah?  How much you think is in there?  Don’t forget to take into account the wonderful inflating United States dollar bill.”
         “Huh, I’ll say about three mill what you think?”
         “Oh… about five point seven nine million…”
         “How you know that?”
         “It’s called the 21st century and computers tell all.”
         “You’re not su…”
         “I know!  I was just curious what kind of riches we haul around like trained monkeys all the time.  I mean hasn’t that ever sparked your interest?”
         “Yeah I guess but, I never went nosing around.”
         “It’s not nosing around It’s as easy as looking through the ten percent tinted glass our bullheaded manager thinks we can’t see through.  Plus his twenty-eight inch monitor doesn’t help any.”
         “He-he, I suppose you got a point.  You want to drive newbie?”
         “Hey now I’ve been here three years.  Sure I may not be father time but, do you really want to be?  Time sucks.”
         “Alright how about beginner Bryan?”
         “That’s fair. Talk us away captain.”
         “This is Car 79 leaving the bay.”
         “Thank you Car 79 drive safe out there we got a lot of precipitation and arctic winds throughout the night”
         “Thank you base and stay warm.”
         “God, this city’s gone to hell.”
         “It ain’t that bad all the place’s I worked as a boy are still standing.”
         “What’s better, to stay standing or live being clubbed at the knees knowing that it’s not going to be too long before your head gets hit?”
         “Bryan you ok?  You’ve been nothing but a downer lately.”
         “No.”
         “Is it the wife?”
         “Partially I suppose the whore would have something to do with it.  Everyone’s always so worried the husband’s eyes will wander and ruin the wife’s Cinderella story.  Like she’s so innocent and would never hurt anyone.  She gets her pleasures from others and I get to hear a scratchy voice of how big of a failure I am to her every day.  I bring in the small check and have to make do with my money, not hers.  I sit and watch my hours of life drain on my gas gauge and the pile of Slim Jim wrappers in the passenger seat just gets bigger.  I just want to start over, just find the big red reset button.”
         “Well have you tried counseling I could set you up with my uncle he’s a…”
         “No, but you could help me drive off into the clouded over sunrise with millions of dollars.”
         “Uh… huh…Um… Uh…”
         “I hope that’s a yes.”
         “No! It’s a big no!  I got family Bryan I can’t just leave.  Besides these cars have all sorts of tracking on them, and usually loyal drivers.”
         “Are you trying to say… I’m not loyal?  I’m not loyal enough for you Tom?  I’m really sorry Tom.”
         “Oh Jesus!  Bryan for Chris sake don’t point that at me!  I’ll help, I’ll help.”
         “Good glad to hear it.”
         “Bryan.  Bryan your gunna hit the pole!  Turn the whe… Oh fu...”
         “Car 79 we detected a crash what’s your condition? Over.”
         “Car 79 anyone there?”
         “Wake up Tom we have to go!”
         “Car 79 do you read me?”
         “Yes this is Bryan from Car 79”
         “What’s your condition Bryan?  Over.”
         “We’re ok but the neighborhood doesn’t seem too friendly.”
         “We are sending help Car 79 lock your doors and stay safe if you can.”
         “Thank you base”
         “Tom are you with me?”
         “Yeah… why’d you have to drag me into this?”
         “No time you see that car over there?”
         “Yeah.”
         “That’s my car we’re going to move the money from here to there.  Are you ready?”
         “Yeah.”
         “Hold the handles tight.  Hurry up!”
         “What does it look like I’m doing?”
         “Being a thorn in my side.  Ok set it down here.”
         “God damn trunk is stuck again.”
         “Bryan you don’t have to do this.”
         “Shut up Tom and help me put it in.”
         “Bryan who’s that?”
         “My whore.  Did you tell her my plan?  Did you let her know I’d be coming here?”
         “No I swear”
         “Well you shouldn’t do that”
         “No, please I have family.”
         “Sure you do.”
         “Bryan help me with this bag!”  She shrilled.
         “Fine we need to hurry!”
         “I know, it’s all your mom’s crap so don’t blame me.”
        “Feel’s good doesn’t it honey.”
         “Yeah I thought you and that carcass would never show.”
         “I had to play some major mind games with that fool.”
         “Well you did a good job.”
         “Ok shut up good tune.” Bryan snapped as Take the Money and Run began to blare through the stereo.



(Disclaimer: Take the Money and Run is work by Steve Miller Band and property of it's owners.)