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Rated: · Novel · Fantasy · #1441215
This is a part of the first chapter from my book.please can i have some feeback. Thanks
Moving carefully so as not to show just how nervous he was, Balion made his way to the Baron's Keep, navigating the wind swept streets with an ease that spoke of a long familiarity with the medium sized town.
The sun easily cleared the highest of trees that surrounded the islands main community, and was sending out streaks of warm light that bathed all within its influence with a warm touch, setting the local houses and shops aglow as it reflected of their beige stone walls .
Balion made sure to keep his eyes focused straight ahead as he walked, not wanting to see the wary expressions that were engraved on the islanders features as they watched him move within their midst.
No more was there the welcoming smiles and warm greetings, gone were the small pleasant conversations of trivial worth that he had been so used to over the years.
Balion felt decidedly detached, these where the same people he had grown up around, laughed and joked with, helped. Couldn’t they see that he was the same person who had lived alongside them for close to sixteen years, no different now than he had always been?
How was it that a couple of words could change his life so dramatically?
Not too long ago he was working side by side with these people, helping with the harvest, going out on the fishing boats, and repairing homes that had taken damage from the yearly spring storms.
He had had his place in the community and was happy with it.
But after those damning words it had all changed. Now he was the property of the Hall. Someone to be regarded with a careful perception, to be treated with respect but not familiarity, to give orders but not take them, to be seen but ignored. Why couldn’t things just be how they always were, thought Balion angrily. He didn’t ask to have the Gift. In fact he was a bit dubious that he had it at all.
As he walked the streets leading to the keep, Balion clung to the slight chance that the barons gifted had made a mistake, that he was not someone born with the gift and therefore demanded utter obedience from those without, but rather just a normal fifteen year old boy who wanted nothing more than to live a simple life, with simple joys.
After what seemed an endless sea of familiar faces had passed, Balion realized with a start that he had come to the gates of the keep.
Never before had he been in the keep on any day other than festival ones, and now looking up at the steel wrought gates which stood as always open but guarded, he felt dread in the pit of his stomach.
Instead of looking welcoming, the arched gateway seemed to Balion like a portal to another world. A dangerous world were there was no place for him.
The two guards who stood duty watched Balion with a careful gaze as he stood looking on the silver steeled gates. The two sentinels were both large, muscular men. Close to their forties, Balion new them to be veterans.
Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves Balion moved forwards carefully.
He got to a few meters before the guards when he was halted with a raised hand, “What do you want here lad?” asked the one standing on the left side of the gate.
“I was told to come and see Jecht” replied Balion.
The guard gave a nod of his head, “so you would be Balion, yes”
Balion gave a nod of his head, indicating what the man said as true.
“Good, follow me” and so saying he set of without even a backwards glance.
Balion followed the giant of a man through the keep grounds and up to the castle. He was too nervous to give the out buildings anything more than a customary glance. Preferring instead to fret over what his prescribed meeting would actually entail, and what effects it would have on his life.
Unlike his previous walk through town, were he was watched but purposefully ignored. The people of the keep were too taken with their own problems to worry about a young man strolling the keeps stone paths.
After passing the stables and guardhouse. Both of which were made from the usual beige stone. Balion followed the guard to the entrance of the castle.
Standing six stories high, the castle was like a black pearl sitting in the middle of its oyster. On all sides it was flanked by creamy coloured stone, giving it an even more striking appearance than it actually warranted.
To Balion, who had never left the island of Ripplegate, the sight was majestic. How was it that humans, who were so tiny in the world, could manage to built something so huge.
The novelty quickly wore of though. For coming down the steps was a man wearing a light grey robe of good quality silk. Balion didn’t need to see the shining medallion hanging halfway down the mans chest to recognize who it was. The man coming towards him was the islands gifted and power user, Jecht.
“Well lad, I better be getting back” said the guard.
Balion took his eyes of the old man coming down the steps to look at the guard. “Thanks” he said.
“Don’t worry about it, I’m just doing my job” then he turned and left.
Balion stayed rooted to the spot, feeling like a cornered animal his first instinct was to run, to get as far away as he possibly could.
When Jecht reached him, he stood for moment without speaking, his eyes coolly appraising. Balion felt helpless under those strikingly intelligent eyes.
“Follow me“instructed Jecht.
Balion done as he was bid and followed. They went up the main steps and into the castle proper. Passed the receptionist who sat fiddling with papers behind the front desk, and took the spiraled stairs on the right hand side.
For an old man, Balion was a little surprised at the ease in which Jecht climbed the steep stairs. With only the artificial light from the torches to guide his way, Balion had to continually look down as he made his way up pass floor after floor. It wasn’t until they reached the top and last floor that Balion started to wonder where it was he was being taken.
They turned out onto a lavishly decorated hallway, with drapes of light purples and dark reds strewn across the walls. Jecht stopped in front of the first large oak door, took a key out of his pocket and opened it.
“This is where you will be staying for the next couple of months.” indicated Jecht with his hand, “there’s new clothes on the bed that you should find fit. You eat in the main hall down stairs. And you’ll take lessons with me two hours a day. My room is the next one along, so if there is anything you need just come to me and I will see what I can do. But now I have something I have to take care of, so you’ll stay here until I come get you later. There’s books on your bed if you wish to read them while you wait.”
Balion just nodded his head dumbly. The room was huge, probably the same size as his mothers whole house, and that had five rooms. It was furnished with drapes of dark and light blues, with a large four poster bed sitting in one corner, chairs and table in the middle, and a large wardrobe lined along the wall adjacent the bed.
“Well, I have to leave you now so make your self comfortable, it might be a couple of hours before I’m back.” said Jecht.
Balion watched until Jecht was out of sight before closing the door behind himself.
He stood for a moment at the door of the room, studying the riches that he was now surrounded with. Living with his mum and two brothers he had always thought himself well off. There was food on the table at the end of the day, clothes to put on at the beginning, and the house was decently decorated compared with some of his less fortunate neighbors.
But seeing the stylish silks, intricately sewn rugs, gilded candle holders and carved units that were displayed in this single room alone made him revise his opinion.
Balion moved across the room to the bed, were he picked up the dark blue robe and shook it out. He could tell It was of a better quality than anything he had ever previously worn as soon as he felt its smooth surface under his rough hands. As he went about opening it up, he disappointedly realized that it was a robe in the same fashion as the one Jecht had been wearing. He chucked it over one of the chairs and sat down on the bed.
Everything seemed to be happening so quick. Just half an hour ago he was walking the streets as he made his way to keep. For all his differences still just a normal boy. But now, now he was in the keep. In an expensive room with new clothes, books, and told that he was to eat in the main room with the most powerful people on the island.
Balion leaned back on the bed and rested his eyes. He could still see the proud look on his mothers face when he told her what the barons gifted had announced that dreadful day at the market. She didn’t understand that he wanted nothing more than to be normal, not “special” as she had called him. All she could see was that her son was going to potentially be somebody with power and influence.
Perhaps she understood more than he did. He would never have envisioned that he would be treated like a visiting lord - even if he was ordered to stay in his rooms - given luxurious apartments, clothes, and food.
As Balion lay back, still fully clothed. He started to feel himself drift into sleep. His last thought was that after three weeks of worry he deserved a little nap.
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