Ryan and Bryan

RYAN AND BRYAN
INT. BRYAN’S BEDROOM-SUNRISE
AN ALARM IS BLASTING AT A SOFT DECIBEL. BRYAN IS SOMEWHERE
IN THE MOUND OF BLANKETS WHILE HE SLIPS HIS HAND OUT FROM
UNDERNEATH AND GRABS HIS PHONE TO TURN ITS ALARM OFF. THE
BEDROOM IS STILL DARK WITH THE SHADES DRAWN WITH ENOUGH
SUNLIGHT TO LIGHT THE DARK HARDWOOD FLOOR OF THE ROOM. THE
BLANKETS ARE LIT UNDERNEATH FROM THE GLARE OF THE PHONE. A
FOOT SLOWLY CREEPS OUT AND TOUCHES THE FLOOR. BRYAN YAWNS
AND THEN WE SEE A SECOND FOOT STOMP THE FLOOR. HIS FOOTSTEPS
ARE SOFT AND SLOW GATHERING MOMENTUM WITH EACH STEP UNTIL HE
REACHES A JOGGING PACE.
CUT TO:
INT. RYAN’S BEDROOM-SUNRISE
RYAN IS SOUNDLY SLEEPING. HE IS FACE DOWN ON HIS BED
WEARING ONLY HIS BOXERS. HIS BLANKETS MADE THEIR WAY ON TO
THE FLOOR WHERE HIS CLOTHES ARE THROWN FROM THE NIGHT
BEFORE. HE IS SNORING WITH HIS MOUTH WIDE OPEN CAUSING
DROOL TO MAKE ITS WAY OFF OF THE PILLOW AND ONTO THE
BED. HIS ALARM ON HIS PHONE BLASTS ON ITS HIGHEST LEVEL AND
VIBRATES ON THE NIGHTSTAND NEXT TO HIS HEAD.
CUT TO:
INT. BEDROOM-SUNRISE
BRYAN PICKS OUT HIS CLOTHES FROM HIS CLOSET AND HEADS TO THE
BATHROOM. HIS WATCH IS LAID ON HIS NIGHTSTAND AND WE SEE
THAT IT IS SEVEN THIRTY-FIVE.
CUT TO:
INT. RYAN’S BEDROOM-SUNRISE
RYAN IS STILL ASLEEP WITH THE DROOL STAIN GROWING ONTO HIS
SHEETS. THE PHONE MAKES IT’S WAY NEAR THE EDGE.
CUT TO:
INT. BRYAN’S BATHROOM-SUNRISE
BRYAN BRUSHES HIS TEETH, MAKING SURE NO TOOTH IS UNNOTICED.
CUT TO:
INT. RYAN’S BEDROOM-SUNRISE
RYAN’S POSITION HASN’T CHANGED. RYAN’S DROOL IS NOW ONE
HUGE DRIP EDGING FROM THE BED INCHES AWAY FROM THE
FLOOR. THE PHONE IS NOW ON THE FLOOR TARGETED FOR THE
DROOL.
CUT TO:
INT. BRYAN’S KITCHEN-MORNING
BRYAN MAKES HIS WAY ACROSS HIS NEATLY KEPT KITCHEN. HE
POURS A CUP OF COFFEE AND READS HIS MORNING NEWS ON HIS
LAPTOP. BRYAN PICKS UP HIS PHONE AND CALLS RYAN. NO
ANSWER.
BRYAN: DAMMIT.
BRYAN CALLS AGAIN, SHAKING HIS HEAD AS THE PHONE RINGS. NO
ANSWER. HE GRUNTS A FEW WORDS UNDER HIS BREATH.
CUT TO:
INT. RYAN’S BEDROOM-MORNING
RYAN IS STILL IN THE SAME POSITION, ONLY SNORING.
CUT TO:
EXT. BRYAN’S PORCH AND STREET AND CAR-MORNING
BRYAN LOCKS HIS DOOR. HE TRIES HIS BEST NOT TO MAKE EYE
CONTACT WITH THE DICKENS, HIS NEIGHBORS ACROSS THE STREET,
AS HE TRIES TO MAKE HIS WAY THIRTY FEET TOWARDS HIS CAR.
GEORGE DICKENS: (YELLING) HELLO, BRYAN! GOOD MORNING!
BRYAN: (YELLING) G’MORNING, DICKENS! NICE MORNING, ISN’T IT?
GEORGE DICKENS: (YELLING) YES IT IS! SO FAR! (MARTHA NUDGES
GEORGE)HEY BRYAN, WE COULD REALLY USE YOUR HELP AT THE CHURCH THIS WEEKEND! THERE’S A NICE LADY WE WANT TO INTRODUCE YOU TO! WE TOLD HER ALL ABOUT YOU!
BRYAN ROLLS HIS EYES AND ENTERS HIS CAR.
BRYAN: CAN’T TALK! SEE YA DICK!
THE DICKENS TURN TO EACHOTHER AND LOOK BACK AT BRYAN AND WAVE. BRYAN STARTS HIS CAR AND TRIES TO DRIVE AWAY AS FAST AS HE CAN WHILE HE IS STOPPED BY ANOTHER CAR DRIVING BY BLOCKING
HIS EXIT FROM THE DICKENS. HE LOOKS OVER AND SEES THEM
SMILING AT HIM, AND DOES A POLITE WAVE. THE CAR IS GONE AND
HE MAKES HIS WAY DOWN THE ROAD.
BRYAN: GOD.. THEY KNOW I’M GAY, WHY DO THEY DO THAT?
BRYAN SIPS HIS COFFEE AND DRIVES AWAY MAKING A PHONE CALL TO
RYAN.
INT. RYAN’S BEDROOM-MORNING
RYAN IS STILL IN HIS COMA WHILE HIS PHONE IS RINGING ON THE
FLOOR. HE REACHES HIS HAND DOWN AND PICKS IT UP.
RYAN: YEA..
BRYAN: SO?
RYAN: SO WHAT?
BRYAN: (EXCITED) SO WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT? YOU AND.. YOU KNOW..
RYAN: OH, THAT. THAT WAS NOTHING, JUST AN OLD FRIEND.
BRYAN: UH HUH.
RYAN: I’M SERIOUS. I DON’T TAKE MY TRASH HOME, YOU KNOW THAT.
RYAN SLOWLY GETS OUT OF BED.
BRYAN: I DON’T GET IT. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? WE USED TO GET DIZZY TALKING ABOUT "RYAN’S ESCAPADES" NOW IT’S LIKE C-SPAN. YOU NEED TO GET LAID.
RYAN LOOK AT HIS BAGS IN THE MIRROR. HIS FACE IS BEAUTIFUL
BUT HIDDEN FROM THE LINES OF HIS PILLOWS FROM SLEEPING.
RYAN: YEA.. WELL. I’M JUST NOT READY FOR THAT.
BRYAN: WELL YOU BETTER CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE FOR TONIGHT.
INT. RYANS HALLWAY-MORNING
RYAN MAKES HIS WAY TOWARDS HIS KITCHEN
RYAN: (SUPRISED) TONIGHT? WHAT’S TONIGHT?
INT. BRYAN'S CAR-MORNING
BRYAN: DAN’S PARTY? HELLO? DID YOU HAVE YOUR COFFEE YET?
INT. RYAN'S KITCHEN-MORNING
RYAN ENTERS HIS KITCHEN AND WARMS UP OLD COFFEE.
RYAN: WORKING ON IT.
BRYAN: OK, I’M PULLING INTO WORK. DRINK YOUR COFFEE AND I’LL FILL YOU IN. AND DAMMIT RYAN, YOU NEED A SALE TODAY. YOU NEED THIS.
RYAN RUBS HIS HEAD AND LOOKS DOWN IN SHAME.
BRYAN: WE NEED THIS.
THEY BOTH HANG UP. RYAN IS STILL WALKING AROUND IN HIS
UNDERWEAR TOTALLY WITHOUT SHAME. HE TAKES HIS COFFEE AND LEAVES THE KITCHEN.
INT. RYAN’S BEDROOM-MORNING
HE GETS COMFORTABLE AND TURNS HIS TELEVISION ON.
EXT. BRYAN’S WORK-NOON
BRYAN SITS ON THE STAIR IMPATIENTLY WAITING. HE TRIES HIS
BEST TO AVOID THE CLOUDS OF SMOKE COMING FROM THE
SMOKERS. HIS OCCASIONAL COUGHS ONLY PROVOKE THEIR
GIGGLES. BRYAN LOOKS AT HIS WATCH, MAKES HIS TRADEMARK
GRUNT AND CURSES TO HIMSELF. HE STANDS UP TO GO BACK INSIDE
WHEN DAN PULLS UP IN HIS ACURA LOOKING STYLISH AS USUAL. HE
ROLLS THE TINTED WINDOW DOWN AND WHISTLES AT BRYAN TRYING
HIS BEST TO EMBARRASS HIM.
DAN: HI BOYFRIEND! LET’S MAKE OUT.
BRYAN: GO TO HELL.
DAN: HA!
BRYAN ENTERS THE CAR AS DAN LOOKS IN THE MIRROR MAKING SURE
EVERY HAIR IS IN ITS HOME.
BRYAN: SO, IS THIS FROM DADDY?
DAN: NO! I PAID FOR THIS MYSELF.
BRYAN ROLLS HIS EYES AND DAN CATCHES HIM.
DAN: NO, SERIOUSLY, I PAID FOR THIS MYSELF.
BRYAN: TRANSLATION: YOU HANDED THE CASHIER YOUR DAD’S CHECK.
DAN LOOKS AT BRYAN CONFUSED.
DAN: UM. YEA. THAT’S WHAT I SAID. I PAID FOR THIS MYSELF. (PAUSE) SO
WHERE DO WE GO? DOWNTOWN? WEST END? CLAYTON?
BRYAN: I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR CLAYTON. LET’S EAT DOWN TOWN.
DAN IS TOO EXCITED TO JERK THE CAR TO A SUDDEN 180 TO HEAD
TO DOWNTOWN. BRYAN HOLDS ON FOR DEAR LIFE.
EXT. RYAN’S LIVING ROOM/KITCHEN-DAY
FRED OPENS THE DOOR LETTING HIMSELF IN AND GRABBING THE MAIL
ON THE WAY. HE SORTS THROUGH IT WEEDING OUT THE
GARBAGE. HE KNOWS JUST WHERE TO WALK WITHOUT LOOKING UP
MAKING HIS WAY TO THE KITCHEN. HE THROWS AWAY THE MAIL AND
SETS THE REST ON THE COUNTER TOP. HE TURNS AROUND TO LOOK
AT HIMSELF IN THE MIRROR AS HE IS SCARED BY RYAN’S
REFLECTION.
FRED: GOD DAMN YOU SCARED ME!
FRED LOOKS RYAN UP AND DOWN WITH A LOOK OF DISGUST.
FRED: UM, A HAT. NOW. AND QUICK, WE GOTTA MOVE.
RYAN DOESN’T EVEN BOTHER TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR. HE MANAGES
TO GRAB A HAT FROM UNDERNEATH PAPERS CAUSING FRED TO BRING
BACK HIS DISGUST LOOK. RYAN MAKES HIS WAY OUT.
RYAN: YOU COMING?
EXT. RYAN’S FRONT PORCH-DAY
RYAN LOCKS THE DOOR AND MAKES HIS WAY TO FRED’S ILLEGALLY
PARKED CAR.
RYAN: EWW. NICE PARKING JOB.
FRED: FUCK OFF. I PARK WHERE I WANT TO.
EXT. THE STREETS OF ST. LOUIS-DAY
FRED PULLS A HALF SMOKED JOINT OUT FROM HIS ASH TRAY. RYAN
GIVES FRED A DISAPPOINTED LOOK.
RYAN: WOW, STARTED WITHOUT ME.
FRED: THESE GLASSES AREN’T FOR LOOKS, YOU KNOW THAT. (PAUSES TO CURSE AT TRAFFIC) SO WHERE ARE WE GOING?
RYAN: FOREST PARK. I’M MEETING SOMEONE.
FRED: AH. THE BOY FROM LAST NIGHT. HOW WAS HE? WAIT, DON’T TELL ME AND I’LL ASK HIM TONIGHT.
RYAN: (SHOCKED) YOU’RE COMING?
FRED: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? OF COURSE I’M COMING. I’M YOUR DATE.
FRED SMILES HIS ADORABLE SMILE AND PULLS INTO THE PARKING
LOT OF THE PARK. RYAN TAKES A DEEP BREATH.
RYAN: HAVE YOU TALKED TO DAN?
CUT TO:
INT. DOWNTOWN RESTAURANT-DAY
BRYAN AND DAN ARE SITTING DOWN AT A NICE RESTAURANT.
DAN: I LEFT HIM A VOICE MAIL.
BRYAN: DID HE CALL YOU BACK?
CUT TO:
EXT. FOREST PARK-DAY
RYAN AND FRED EXIT THE CAR AND HEAD TOWARDS A PICNIC TABLE.
FRED: NO, I DIDN’T CALL HIM BACK.
RYAN: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY?
CUT TO:
INT. DOWNTOWN RESTAURANT-DAY
DAN: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE’LL SAY.
(PAUSE) I’M SORRY?
CUT TO:
EXT. FOREST PARK-DAY
RYAN: I’M SORRY? YOU’RE APOLOGIZING? YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG! THAT’S MESSED UP. (PAUSES) ANYWAY, I’LL BE RIGHT BACK.
A CAR PULLS UP BLASTING COUNTRY MUSIC. FRED ROLLS HIS EYES
AND EATS HIS SALAD. RYAN GETS UP AND WALKS TOWARDS THE
CAR. FRED CAN MAKE OUT SOMEONE WEARING GLASSES AND RYAN
HANDING HIM SOME MONEY. RYAN GIVES THE MYSTERY MAN A HUG
AND WALKS BACK TOWARDS FRED. AS THE CAR PULLS AWAY THE
COUNTRY MUSIC IS BLASTED ONCE AGAIN. RYAN COMES BACK WITH A
GRIN ON HIS FACE.
FRED: OH, I KNOW THAT FACE, WHAT DID YOU GET US?
RYAN: (SMILING) OH, JUST SOME FUN IN A BAG. YOU’LL
FIND OUT TONIGHT.
FRED
WELL, THIS PARTY IS LOOKING BETTER
AND BETTER.
FRED’S TRADE MARK GRIN BECOMES APPARENT. HE RELIGHTS HIS
HALF-SMOKEN JOINT.
FADE OUT.
INT. RYAN’S THIRD FLOOR HALLWAY-DAY
RYAN ENTERS THE HALLWAY OF HIS THIRD FLOOR FROM HIS BEDROOM
AND DIALS NICK’S NUMBER. HE HAS A CUP IN HIS HAND, THE
PHONE IN THE OTHER AND STRUGGLES TO OPEN THE PATIO DOOR
TO ENTER HIS GARDEN OUTSIDE.
EXT. RYAN’S GARDEN-DAY
HIS ROOF GARDEN OVERLOOKS THE NEIGHBORS BACKYARDS AND HAS A
LARGE PATIO AREA. OVERFLOWING LUSH PLANTS LINE THE ROOFTOP
CREATING A PERFECT ESCAPE FROM THE REAL WORLD. HE HAS POT
PLANTS HIDDEN AMONG THE IVY AND A TABLE WITH HIS LAPTOP ON
IT AND LOUNGE CHAIRS HE KEEPS FOR COMPANY. RYAN PLOPS DOWN
ON HIS DESIGNATED CHAIR THAT HAS THE ASHTRAY IN FRONT
AND EMPTY CUPS FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE. HE TAKES A DEEP
BREATH AND CALLS NICK ONE MORE TIME. HE STANDS UP AND GROWS
MORE FRUSTRATED THE MORE RINGING HE HEARS. HE LISTENS TO
THE VOICE MAIL AND DECIDES NOT TO LEAVE A MESSAGE. PACING
BACK AND FORTH, HE PICKS UP THE PHONE ONCE MORE, DIALS, AND
PUTS THE PHONE TO HIS EAR.
BRYAN
WHAT’S UP? AN... UPDATE?
RYAN
(CAUGHT OFF GUARD)
WHAT? HELLO? BRYAN? (PAUSE) UPDATE?
RYAN LIGHTS A CIGARETTE AND SITS BACK DOWN.
CUT TO:
INT. BRYAN’S WORK-DAY
BRYAN IS SITTING AT HIS NEATLY ORGANIZED DESK THAT’S COVERED
WITH PICTURES OF HIS BOYFRIEND MIKE. HE’S LEANING BACK IN
HIS CHAIR WITH ONE LEG UP ON THE DESK AND THE OTHER RELAXING
OVER HIS KNEE. HE HAS THE PHONE IN ONE HAND AND A YELLOW
PENCIL IN HIS OTHER HAND THAT HE PLAYS THE DRUMS WITH ON THE
ARM REST OF HIS CHAIR.
BRYAN
DIDN’T YOU GET THAT EMAIL I SENT
YOU?
RYAN
WHAT EMAIL?
BRYAN
(LOST HIS PATIENCE)
THE ONE I JUST SENT YOU! PLEASE
TELL ME YOU GOT THIS! IT’S AN
IMPORTANT LEAD ANDEXT.
RYAN’S GARDEN-DAY
RYAN QUICKLY RUNS TO HIS LAPTOP AND CHECKS HIS MAIL.
RYAN
YEA, I JUST GOT IT. (PAUSE) LOOK,
I’M A LITTLE BUSY BRYANBRYAN
DOING WHAT? YOU DON’T DO
ANYTHING! YOU’RE SO FUCKING LAZY,
RYAN!
RYAN
I’M JUST GOING THROUGH A LOT, EASE
UP ON ME, DAMN!
INT. BRYAN’S WORK-DAY
BRYAN
(ANGRY)
I’M TIRED OF GOING EASY ON YOU,
I’VE BEEN REALLY CAREFUL NOT TO SAY
ANYTHING BECAUSE OF YOU AND NICK
BUT I’M TIRED OF THIS RYAN, YOU’RE
EFFECTING MORE THAN JUST YOU! THIS
IS MY FUTURE. WHEN ARE YOU GOING
TO GROW UP?
RYAN
LOOKBRYAN
NO, YOU LOOK!
BRYAN STANDS UP AND LOOKS AROUND HIS CUBICLE. HE ADJUSTS
HIMSELF SO HIS NEIGHBORING COWORKERS CAN’T HEAR HIS
CONVERSATION.
THIS TOHILL ACCOUNT WILL MAKE
US. IT MEANS A LOT TO OUR COMPANY,
IF WE DON’T GET THIS- WE’RE
SCREWED!
ANNOYING COWORKER
UH OH! IS SOMEBODY HAVING A BAD
DAY?
BRYAN SLOWLY TURNS TO LOOK AT HIS COWORKER AND GIVES HIS
WORST SMILE IMAGINED. HE TURNS HIS HEAD TOWARDS THE FLOOR.
EXT. RYAN’S GARDEN-DAY
RYAN
( TAKES A DRAG)
LOOK, BRY, I HAVE TO GO.I HAVE TONS
OF SHIT TO DO TONIGHT BEFORE THIS
PARTYHE
SUCKS A POWER HIT ON HIS CIGARETTE DOWN TO THE QUICK
UNTIL HE GETS MOST OF THE TOP HALF OF THE FILTER ON
FIRE. HE STARES AT THE CIGARETTE AND FLICKS IT INTO THE
NEIGHBOR’S YARD WITH EASE.
INT. BRYAN’S WORK-DAY
BRYAN
(AGGRAVATED)
WOW, BIG SURPRISE. (TAKES A DEEP
BREATH) YOU’RE SO FUCKING
LAZY. GROW UP RYAN.
BRYAN SLAMS THE PHONE DOWN.
EXT. RYAN’S GARDEN-DAY
RYAN STRETCHES OUT ON HIS LOUNGE IN HIS GARDEN AND LIGHTS
ANOTHER CIGARETTE. HE TAKES A DEEP BREATH AND LOOKS AT THIS
PHONE. HE TAKES ANOTHER DRAG AND PICKS UP HIS PHONE.
INT. MOM’S HOUSE-DAY
THE PHONE RINGS IN A COUNTRY STYLE KITCHEN FILLED THE
SCREAMS OF CHILDREN PLAYING AND BABIES CRYING. MOM IS
WASHING DISHES WHEN THE PHONE RINGS. SHE DRIES HER HANDS
AND PICKS UP THE KITCHEN PHONE WITH THE ONE HUNDRED FOOT
CORD.
MOM
HELLO?
EXT. RYAN’S GARDEN-DAY
RYAN SITS UP FROM HIS LOUNGE CHAIR.
RYAN
MOM?
MOM
RYAN? RYAN! (PAUSES) WHAT’S
WRONG,SUGAR?
RYAN
IT’S NOTHING. (TAKES A DRAG) I JUST
WANTED TO SAY HI, AND CHECK IN.
INT. MOM’S HOUSE-DAY
MOM SITS DOWN AT HER KITCHEN TABLE AND LIGHTS A
CIGARETTE. THE GRAND KIDS ARE RUNNING AROUND THE KITCHEN
TABLE GETTING INTO MISCHIEF AND GETTING TANGLED IN THE PHONE
CORD.
MOM
I’M JUST SITTING HERE WATCHING THE
GRAND KIDS, WILL AND MONICA ARE
OVER HERE, WE’RE THINKING ABOUT
BARBECUING TODAY. (EXCITED) DO YOU
WANT TO COME OVER?
WILL AND MONICA ENTER THE KITCHEN AND SNEAK UP TO THE PHONE
TO SAY HI TO RYAN. RYAN HEARS THIS AND GIVES A SOFT SMILE.
RYAN
(SOUNDING SAD)
HI WILL AND MONICA.
MOM
WHAT’S THE MATTER, SUGAR?
RYAN TAKES A DRAG AND SITS BACK DOWN ON HIS LOUNGE CHAIR AND
PLAYS WITH THE LEAVES OF A PLANT.
RYAN
(TAKES A DEEP BREATH)
BRYAN’S MAD AT ME. (PAUSE) HE’S
ALWAYS MAD AT ME. (TAKES A DRAG)
HE CALLED YOU, DIDN’T HE?
MOM
YES, I TALKED TO HIM EARLIER, HE
WAS PRETTY UPSET. HONEY, HE’S NOT
ALWAYS MAD AT YOU. YOU KNOW HOW
YOUR BROTHER IS. HE JUST LIKES
THINGS HIS WAY, HE’S LIKE HIS
MOTHER. HE WORKED REAL HARD ON HIS
COMPANY, YOU KNOW THAT. (PAUSES
FOR DRAG) HE NEEDS YOU. YOU KNOW
HOW TO TALK TO PEOPLE. HE NEVER
PICKED UP ON THAT. WHILE YOU WERE
BUSY WITH YOUR FRIENDS OR WHATEVER
YOU DID HE KEPT HIS HEAD IN THE
BOOKS.
MOM UNTANGLES THE KIDS FROM THE PHONE CORD.
EXT. RYAN’S GARDEN-DAY
RYAN SMILES.
RYAN
I KNOW, I KNOW. (LOOKS AT
WATCH)LOOK MOM, I NEED TO GO, I
HAVE TO GET READY FOR THIS PARTY
TONIGHT. (PAUSE) I LOVE YOU.
MOM
I LOVE YOU TOO BABY. WHEN ARE YOU
GOING TO COME STAY WITH ME? WE CAN
WATCH MOVIES AND I’LL MAKE SOME
POPCORN AND I PROMISE I WON’T FALL
ASLEEP!(LAUGHS)
RYAN
(RUSHED)
I’LL FREE UP SOME TIME. BYE MOM.
RYAN HANGS UP THE PHONE AND LOOKS AT THE LAPTOP SCREEN. HE
PUTS HIS CIGARETTE OUT BY FLICKING IT IN THE NEIGHBORS
YARD. THE CIGARETTE LANDS IN A POPULAR SPOT THAT HAS
MULTIPLE CIGARETTE BUTTS ALL IN A PILE.
CUT TO:
INT. RYAN’S LIVING ROOM-NIGHT
FRED ENTERS, MAKING HIMSELF AT HOME. HE RUNS UP THE STAIRS
SKIPPING EVERY OTHER STEP. RYAN MEETS HIM HALF WAY
PROMPTING FRED TO DO A 180 BACK DOWN THE STAIRS.
RYAN
ARE YOU NERVOUS?
FRED
WHY WOULD I BE NERVOUS?
RYAN
I DUNNO, MAYBE BECAUSE THIS IS
THE FIRST TIME YOU ARE SEEING BOTH
DAN AND STEVE IN THE SAME
ROOM. THINGS ARE GOING TO GET
(HOLD UP SHAKING FINGERS) WEIRD.
FRED
(LAUGHS)
TRUST ME, I HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY
ABOUT.
FRED TAKES A LOOK AT RYAN WHO LOOKS PRETTY SLICK FOR A SLOB.
FRED
WOW, YOU CLEANED UP.
RYAN SMILES.
FRED
COULD IT BE.. NICK IS AT DANS?
RYAN: I DON’T KNOW, HE COULD BE. LET’S GO!
RYAN AND FRED LEAVE THE LIVING ROOM AND EXIT RYAN’S HOUSE.
INT. FRED’S CAR-NIGHT
FRED IS DRIVING LIKE A MAD MAN. RYAN GETS NERVOUS AS FRED
ACCELERATES ON THE CORNERS. HE GRABS THE DOOR HANDLE AND
HOLDS ON FOR DEAR LIFE.
RYAN: HEY, IN AMERICA WE STOP AT THOSE RED OCTAGONS.
FRED: JUST-LET ME DRIVE.
RYAN: YOU KNOW I HAVE SHIT ON ME, I’M PARANOID.
FRED: EW! I ALMOST FORGOT! WHAT DID RYAN BRING? (SMILING) I CAN WAIT. NO I CAN’T. LET’S START THIS PARTY EARLY.
RYAN: LET’S WAIT. YOU KNOW HOW PARANOID I AM. WE’RE ALMOST THERE ANYWAY.
FRED: YOU’RE NERVOUS, LOOK AT YOU!
INT. BRYAN’S KITCHEN-NIGHT
BRYAN IS WITH HIS BOYFRIEND MIKE. THEY ARE BOTH DRESSED
MATCHING EACH OTHER DOWN TO THE HAIR CUT. BRYAN SHUTS THE
DOOR TO LOCK IT ON THEIR WAY OUT WHEN HIS PHONE RINGS.
BRYAN: IT’S FOR WORK, HOLD ON BABE.
MIKE: (ROLLS EYES) FINE.
MIKE REENTERS THE KITCHEN AND HEADS FOR THE LIQUOR
CABINET. HE POURS TWO SHOTS OF WHISKEY. HE WAVES BRYAN’S
ATTENTION AND BRYAN WAVES HIM OFF. MIKE RESORTS TO TAKING
BOTH SHOTS. BRYAN GOES OUTSIDE TO FINISH HIS PHONE CALL
WHILE MIKE LISTENS AT THE DOOR. BRYAN COMES BACK IN AND
RUNS UPSTAIRS AND IS BACK IN THE ROOM IN LESS THAN A MINUTE.
MIKE POURS HIMSELF ANOTHER SHOT WHILE HE IMPATIENTLY
WAITS. BRYAN ENTERS MOTIONING TO MIKE THAT HE IS READY TO
LEAVE. MIKE DOWNS THE SHOT AND THEY EXIT.
EXT. BRYAN’S PORCH AND STREET AND CAR-NIGHT
BRYAN IS STILL ON THE PHONE WHILE THEY MAKE THEIR WAY FROM
THE HOUSE TO THE CAR.
BRYAN: THANK YOU VERY MUCH, I’LL TALK TO YOU ON MONDAY.
THEY PUT THEIR SEAT BELTS ON AND HEAD PULL OUT. BRYAN SEES
HIS NEIGHBORS, THE DICKENS,OUT OF THE CORNER OF HIS EYE AND
DOESN’T EVEN BOTHER TO ACKNOWLEDGE THEM.
MIKE: WHO.. WAS THAT.
BRYAN: I’LL TELL YOU ABOUT IT LATER, IT’S A SURPRISE.
MIKE ROLLS HIS EYES AND LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW.
BRYAN: ..WHAT?
MIKE: ANOTHER MYSTERY. THAT’S THE SURPRISE. (DEEP BREATH)
BRYAN: C’MON, DON’T ACT LIKE THIS. NOT TONIGHT. THIS IS DAN’S NIGHT. I
DON’T WANT TO STEAL HIS THUNDER.
MIKE: ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME? IS THAT WHAT THE CALL IS ABOUT? I THINK YOU CAN BE HONEST WITH ME BRYAN. WE’VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR
ALMOST A YEAR NOW.
BRYAN: (LAUGHING) MIKE, (GRABS HIS HAND) I AM NOT CHEATING ON YOU. HOW COULD YOU-HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT?
MIKE: C’MON BRYAN! YOU NEVER WANT TO GO OUT ANYMORE, WE NEVER HAVE SEX, YOU
ALWAYS GET THESE MYSTERY PHONE
CALLS, YOU ARE ALWAYS TIRED. (SAYS
BELOW HIS VOICE) YOU CARE ABOUT THE
WAY YOU LOOK. (NORMAL VOICE) I
COULD KEEP GOING, YOU KNOW!
BRYAN
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CARE ABOUT THE
WAY I LOOK? WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT
MEAN?
MIKE
IT MEANS THAT WHEN YOU GO ANYWHERE
YOU MAKE SURE EACH LITTLE HAIR IS
IN PLACE. YOU TURNED INTO DAN. I
LIKED THAT ABOUT YOU, YOU WEREN’T
ONE OF THEM.
BRYAN
I JUST WANT TO LOOK GOOD, WHAT’S
WRONG WITH THAT? I DIDN’T KNOW IT
WAS SUCH A BIG DEAL TO PAY
ATTENTION TO THE WAY SOMEONE LOOKS.
WOW. THIS.. THIS IS NUTS..
MIKE: WELL IT CHANGED WHO YOU ARE. YOU’RE DIFFERENT. THESE
THINGS EFFECT ME, THEY EFFECT US.
BRYAN: (DEEP BREATH) I LOVE YOU. I’M NOT CHEATING ON YOU. I’VE JUST BEEN REALLY BUSY LATELY. I PROMISE YOU, I PROMISE YOU MIKEY THIS WILL ALL BE OVER WITH SOON. THAT’S ALL I CAN SAY RIGHT NOW, THAT AND I LOVE YOU.
MIKE LOOKS DOWN AT BRYAN’S HAND IN HIS AND SMILES.
MIKE: (EXHALES) OK, OK. LET’S JUST HAVE FUN TONIGHT.
EXT. DAN’S APARTMENT BUILDING/PARKING LOT-NIGHT
RYAN AND FRED PULL UP AND FRED PARKS IN THE HANDICAP SPOT.
THEY STAY IN THE CAR FOR A FEW SECONDS. AS THE DOORS OPEN
SMOKE POURS OUT FROM THE DOORS REVEALING TWO SILLOETTES.
RYAN: IS NICK’S CAR HERE? DO YOU SEE IT?
FRED: RELAX, YOU WON’T SEE HIS CAR, HE CAME WITH ALEX.
RYAN: ALEX? WHO’S ALEX? I DON’T KNOW ANY ALEX. DO YOU KNOW ALEX?
FRED: (LAUGHING) OH YOU’RE FUNNY. NO I DON’T KNOW
WHO THIS ALEX PERSON IS. OBVIOUSLY
A FRIEND OF DANS. PROMISE ME YOU
WILL BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR.
RYAN: HEY. YOU BETTER PROMISE, TOO. YOU’VE ALREADY WON THE OSCAR FOR BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE.
FRED: JUST SUPPORTING? THAT’S DEPRESSING.
RYAN: RELAX, FRED. THIS IS STILL YOUR YEAR. NOBODY IS GOING TO COME CLOSE.
A VOICE IS HEARD FROM A FEW CARS AWAY.
VOICE: FAGS!
FRED: FUCK OFF! WELL ANYWAY, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY TO NICK?
RYAN: I’M MORE WORRIED ABOUT WHAT BRYAN IS GOING TO SAY TO ME.
FRED: RELAX RY, DON’T ACT SO SURPRISED, THIS ISN’T ANYTHING NEW.
VOICE: (YELLING) QUEERS!
FRED: ORIGINAL! GOOD JOB! ANYWAY, JUST DON’T MAKE A SCENE. LET’S GO IN.
RYAN AND FRED LEAVE THE PARKING LOT AND MAKE THEIR WAY
INSIDE. BEFORE THEY CLOSE THE DOOR FRED FLICKS THE JOINT AT
THE DIRECTION OF THE VOICES. THEY IGNORE THE YELLING AND
CLOSE THE DOOR THAT LOCKS AUTOMATICALLY BEHIND THEM.
INT. ELEVATOR-NIGHT
RYAN AND FRED MAKE THEIR WAY INTO THE ELEVATOR. AS THE
DOORS CLOSE IT IS HELD OPEN BY A HAND. THE DOORS REOPEN AND
NICK IS STANDING THERE WITH A GIRL.
RYAN
(SURPRISED)
NICK! WOW, GOOD TIMING.
FRED
HEY NICKY. (THEY HUG) HEY ALEX,
WHAT’S GOING ON? (THEY HUG ALSO)
NICK: RYAN, THIS IS ALEX. (RYAN LOOKS RELIEVED) ALEX WENT TO SCHOOL WITH DAN.
RYAN: OH, HEY, ALEX. IT’S NICE TO MEET YOU.
ALEX: RYAN, HI, I’VE HEARD SOO MUCH ABOUT YOU. (LOOKS OVER AT NICK AND GRINS) I’LL GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO DEFEND YOURSELF.
RYAN: (SMILES)WELL, WE DO HAVE ALL NIGHT. (PAUSE) SO, ALEX, WHAT
PART OF THE LOU DO YOU STAY IN?
ALEX: I’M IN THE CENTRAL WEST END.
RYAN: (SURPRISED) NO SHIT, ME TOO. I’M OFF OF LINDELL.
ALEX: I’M AT LINDELL AND SARAH.
RYAN: WOW, JUST BLOCKS AWAY.
RYAN GIVES ALEX HIS FAMOUS GRIN AND PULLS THE BAGGY FROM HIS
POCKET.
RYAN: WHO’S READY FOR SOME FUN?
(GASPS ALL AROUND)
NICK PULLS THE EMERGENCY STOP. THEIR HEADS JERK AND BOB AS
THE ELEVATOR COMES TO A SUDDEN STOP.
INT. DAN’S LOBBY-NIGHT
BRYAN AND MIKE ARE WAITING DOWNSTAIRS FOR THE ELEVATOR TO
BECOME AVAILABLE TAPPING THEIR SHOES. THE OTHER PARTY
GUESTS BECOME VISIBLY IMPATIENT.
INT. DAN’S FLOOR-NIGHT
RYAN, FRED, NICK AND ALEX EXIT THE ELEVATOR GIGGLE AND
NATURALLY FOLLOWED BY A CLOUD OF SMOKE.
INT. DAN’S LOBBY-NIGHT
THE ELEVATOR DINGS AND IS ABOUT TO OPEN.
BRYAN: FINALLY!
MIKE: YEA, TELL ME ABOUT IT.
THE ELEVATOR DOOR OPENS AND A CLOUD OF SMOKE RUSHES
OUT. BRYAN AND MIKE COUGH AND LOOK AT EACH OTHER.
BRYAN AND MIKE: RYAN.
THEY BOTH ENTER THE ELEVATOR COUGHING AND WAFTING THE SMOKE
AWAY. THE OTHER PATRONS CHOOSE TO TAKE THE STAIRS.
INT. DAN’S CONDO-NIGHT
THE MUSIC IS HEARD ALL THE WAY FROM THE ELEVATOR TO THE
DOOR. FRED KNOCKS ON THE DOOR AND IS GREETED BY DAN.
DAN: HEY! COME ON IN!
DAN OPENS THE DOOR AS WIDE AS POSSIBLE. FRED ENTERS FIRST,
LOOKING AT THE FLOOR THE ENTIRE WAY IN. NICK AND ALEX GIVE
DAN THEIR HUG AND WISH HIM A HAPPY BIRTHDAY. RYAN TRIES TO
SNEAK IN AS FAST AS HE CAN AND GETS THE BACK OF HIS SHIRT
PULLED. DAN PULLS RYAN OUTSIDE AND CLOSES THE DOOR BEHIND
THEM.
DAN: UM, WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?
RYAN: (ROLLS EYES) C’MON, DAN. YOU TWO ARE FRIENDS. CAN’T YOU PUT IT BEHIND YOU FOR ONE NIGHT? JUST ONE NIGHT? IF THE NIGHT IS A WASTE THEN YOU CAN BLAME IT ON ME. PA PA PWEEZE, FOR ME?
RYAN FLICKERS HIS EYE LASHES AND POUTS HIS BOTTOM LIP. DAN
TAKES A DEEP BREATH AND GIVES IN TO RYAN’S CHARM.
DAN: OK, OK. OK. FINE.
RYAN: (SMILES) GOOD. (KISSES DAN ON THE CHEEK) PEE, SHOTS, AND BALLOON POPPING. IN THAT ORDER.
INT. DAN’S CONDO-NIGHT
RYAN AND DAN MAKE THEIR WAY INTO THE PARTY AND TRY TO EDGE
THEIR WAY TOWARDS THE RESTROOM. THERE IS A LINE
FORMED. DAN GRABS RYAN’S HAND AND THEY GO INTO DAN’S
BEDROOM. THIS IS SEEN BY STEVE WHO IMMEDIATELY RUNS TO
NICK, FRED AND ALEX.
STEVE: WHAT’S UP...FRED?
STEVE GIVES FRED HIS NOTORIOUSLY FLIRTATIOUS HUG THAT HE’S
KNOWN FOR, THE HUG WHERE THE HANDS LINGER LONG ON THE BUTT.
FRED SMILES AND LOOKS A LITTLE EMBARRASSED.
STEVE: WHERE DID DAN AND RYAN GO? GOD, I CAN’T STAND RYAN. I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU ARE FRIENDS WITH HIM.
FRED: SO? WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE, HE’S BEEN FRIENDS WITH ME AND DAN SINCE HIGH SCHOOL. GET USE TO IT.
STEVE AND FRED PULL AWAY AND HEAD TO THE CORNER. NICK AND
ALEX HEAD TO THE BAR.
ALEX: SO, WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
NICK: OH, DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT. STEVE HATES RYAN, LONG STORY.
ALEX LOOKS TOO INTERESTED FOR NICK TO LEAVE IT AT THAT.
NICK: (DEEP BREATH) RYAN HAS DIRT ON STEVE AND THREATENED THAT HE WOULD TELL DAN BLAH BLAH BLAH.
ALEX: AHH, I SEE. WELL? WHAT’S THE DIRT?
NICK POINTS ALEX IN THE DIRECTION OF FRED AND STEVE WHO ARE
LOOKING PRETTY COMFORTABLE ALONE IN THE CORNER.
ALEX: IS THAT WHY DAN AND FRED AREN’T TALKING?
NICK: YEP. THATS THE REASON. STEVE IS A.. (FUMBLES FOR THE RIGHT WORD) A SOCIAL PERSON.
BRYAN AND MIKE ENTER THE PARTY FOLLOWED BY SCREAMS OF
EXCITEMENT. FRED RUNS AND TACKLES BRYAN.
BRYAN: SO WHERE’S THE BIRTHDAY BOY?
WHILE FRED AND STEVE ARE IN THE CORNER, STEVE SPOTS BRYAN
AND MIKE WALKING IN AND HURRIES THEIR DIRECTION AND GIVES
HIS INFAMOUS HUG TO THEM. WHILE IN THE MIDDLE OF STEVE’S
"HUG", THEIR ASSES ARE GRABBED AND THEY GIVE A LITTLE JUMP
AND A LOOK OF VIOLATION. FRED WALKS OVER FROM THE CORNER TO
GIVE HIS HELLOS TO MIKE AND BRYAN.
STEVE: THANKS, HONEY! (WINKS) YOU CAN PUT DAN’S GIFT ON HIS BED. HE’S IN HIS BEDROOM IF YOU WANT TO SAY HI. HE’S BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU.
BRYAN WALKS AWAY FROM THE CONVERSATION TO GET A DRINK WHILE
MIKE LINGERS. FRED HEARS WHAT STEVE SAYS TO BRYAN AND GIVES
HIM AN EVIL GLARE.
FRED: WHY DID YOU SEND HIM IN THERE?
STEVE: (GRINNING) OH, TO MAKE THIS PARTY INTERESTING.
FRED: (SHAKES HIS HEAD IN DISAPPOINTMENT) YOU’RE A BITCH. PURE EVIL. SPAWN OF THE DARK LORD.
FRED WALKS AWAY FROM STEVE LEADING MIKE TO THE BAR.
FRED: STEVE IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE.
MIKE: (ORDERING) BEER, ON TAP. SO, I THOUGHT YOU AND STEVE WERE.. CHUMMY?
FRED: (ROLLING EYES): IS NOTHING SACRED? (PAUSES AND THINKS) WHO ELSE KNOWS?
MIKE: WELL, RYAN, OF COURSE. AND RYAN AND BRYAN SHARE EVERY THOUGHT SO THAT COUNTS HIM IN. BRYAN TELLS ME EVERYTHING, AND WELL, I THINK THAT’S ABOUT IT. (THINKS) UNLESS YOU COUNT THE MILLIONS THAT READ BRYAN’S BLOGS.
INT. DAN’S BEDROOM/BATHROOM-NIGHT
RYAN AND DAN ARE LAYING ON DAN’S BED WITH A MIRROR BETWEEN
THEM. THE PARTY OUTSIDE THE DOOR IS NO DOUBT LOUD, BUT THEY
CAN STILL COMMUNICATE WITHOUT YELLING.
RYAN: (DOES A LINE) SO WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
DAN: (DOES A LINE) AHHH! NEXT. LET’S SEE. NEXT. HMM. I THINK I SHOULD
DO THAT THING WE WERE TALKING ABOUT NEXT WHEN I DO THE..(CONFUSED) WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT?
RYAN AND DAN: (LAUGHING).
DAN: OH, GOD, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAN.
RYAN: YOU’RE TWENTY SIX. TWENTY FUCKING SIX! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE DANIEL?
DAN: (RESTS HIS HEAD ON THE PILLOW) I THINK I NEED TO WORK THINGS OUT WITH STEVE.
RYAN: (ACTS SURPRISED) OH? WHY. WHAT’S THE PROBLEM. IS
THERE A PROBLEM?
DAN: WHEN STEVE AND I WENT ON OUR TRIPTO DOMINICAN WITH FRED, THINGS HAVEN’T BEEN THE SAME SINCE. I LOVE HIM. YOU KNOW I DO. I DON’T THINK HE LOVES ME ANYMORE, OR HE DOESN’T SHOW IT TO ME
ANYMORE. WE’VE JUST CHANGED. ALL OF THOSE LITTLE THINGS THAT I LOVED ABOUT HIM IRRITATE THE HELL OUT OF ME.
RYAN: YOU NEED TO TELL HIM THIS. I THINK YOU TWO NEED TO HAVE A LONG TALK.
DAN: YEA, YOU’RE RIGHT. (DOES ANOTHER
LINE)
RYAN: BUT NOT (DOES LINE) TONIGHT. TONIGHT DANNY IS YOUR NIGHT. DON’T GET DOWN. LET’S GO BACK OUT TO YOUR PARTY BEFORE THE WIVES (CORRECTS HIMSELF)I YOUR WIFE, OUR FRIENDS.
DAN: (COMFORTING RYAN) ITS OK, BUD.
DAN PUTS HIS ARM AROUND RYAN TO COMFORT HIM WHILE BRYAN
COMES IN THE ROOM BRINGING TWO GIFTS, ONE WRAPPED AND THE
OTHER STEVE.
BRYAN: I’LL SET THIS HERE.
BRYAN TRIES TO IGNORE RYAN, HE WALKS HIS WAY TO DAN AND
GIVES HIM A HUG.
STEVE: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?
DAN AND RYAN SCRAMBLE TO PICK UP THE MIRROR AND HIDE IT
UNDER THE PILLOW.
DAN: NOTHING, WE’RE TALKING.
STEVE GIVES DAN A DEATH LOOK AND GLANCES AT RYAN AND SAVES
SOME FOR HIM ALSO. BRYAN LEAVES THE ROOM IN A HURRY. THE
DOOR TO THE BEDROOM IS STILL OPEN WHILE A PARTY PATRON
STICKS HER HEAD IN.
ANNOYING PARTY PATRON #1: THE PARTY MOVED IN HERE?
ANNOYING PARTY PATRON #2: THE PARTY’S IN HERE!
DAN AND RYAN ROLL THEIR EYES AND GET UP OFF OF THE BED.
RYAN: WE’LL FINISH THIS CONVERSATION LATER.
EVERYONE EXITS THE BEDROOM. STEVE LAGS BEHIND AND PULLS DAN
INSIDE. RYAN TURNS AROUND AND LOOKS AT DAN PUZZLED.
STEVE: HE’LL BE OUT IN A SECOND. KEEP THE PARTY GOING, RYAN. (SARCASTIC) YOU’RE SO GOOD AT THAT.
THE DOOR SHUTS. AS NOISY AS THE MUSIC IS, YELLING CAN STILL
BE HEARD IN THE BEDROOM.
INT. DAN’S LIVING ROOM-NIGHT
THE DOOR BELL RINGS AND STEVE QUICKLY PRANCES TO THE
DOOR. AS THE DOOR OPENS AND A STUDLY, HANDSOME MAN KNOWN AS
JOE ENTERS THE LIVING ROOM. STEVE’S FACE LIGHTS UP WITH
EXCITEMENT.
STEVE: WOW. YOU BIG STUD, GET OVER HERE.
STEVE EXTENDS HIS ARMS OUT TO JOE. JOE LOOKS EMBARRASSED BY
THIS GESTURE AND RELUCTANTLY GIVES IN.
STEVE: FRED, YOU REMEMBER JOE, BRYAN’S EX
BOYFRIEND.
STEVE: (TURNS TO RYAN) OF COURSE YOU KNOW RYAN!
STEVE OVER OBVIOUSLY NUDGES JOE AND GIVES HIM A WINK. BRYAN
TURNS TO RYAN AND LOOKS AT HIM IN DISBELIEF. THE ROOM GETS
SILENT WHILE BRYAN SILENTLY EXCUSES HIMSELF TO THE
BAR. NICK LOOKS CONFUSED UNTIL STEVE OPENS HIS BIG MOUTH.
STEVE: YOU KNOW ABOUT RYAN AND JOE, DON’T YOU NICK?
NICK: WHAT’S HE TALKING ABOUT-WHAT’S GOING ON RYAN?
RYAN: NICK, IT WAS A LONG TIME AGONICKS
FACE TURNS RED IN EMBARRASSMENT AND HE SAYS GOODBYE TO
DAN AND FRED. ALEX LOOKS MORE CONFUSED THAN EVER AND
FOLLOWS NICK AROUND. NICK AND ALEX LEAVE THE PARTY AND RYAN
FOLLOWS THEM OUT.
INT. DAN’S FLOOR-NIGHT
RYAN USES A FASTER PACE TO CATCH UP WITH NICK AND
ALEX. NICK IS UPSET WHILE ALEX CONTINUES TO LOOK CONFUSED.
RYAN: NICK! WAIT!
NICK DOESN’T TURN AROUND WHILE ALEX NUDGES NICK. NICK IS
UNMOVED BY HER AND CONTINUE TO POUTS. RYAN RUNS FOR DEAR
LIFE..
INT. ELEVATOR-NIGHT
NICK AND ALEX ENTER THE ELEVATOR IN A HURRY. THE ELEVATOR
DOORS CLOSE AND RYAN PUSHES THE BUTTON TO TRY TO INTERCEPT
THE DOOR. IT DOESN’T OPEN SO RYAN THINKS FAST AND OPENS THE
DOOR TO THE STAIRS. HE QUICKLY OPENS AND JUMPS DOWN THE
ENTIRE FLIGHT AND OPENS THE DOOR AND DASHES TO THE ELEVATOR
AND PRESSES THE BUTTON. THE DOOR OPENS AND NICK AND
ALEX LOOK AMAZED.
ALEX: WOW!
NICK: WHAT?
RYAN: (OUT OF BREATH) I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. (TURNS TO ALEX) WOULD IF BE OK IF WE WERE ALONE?
ALEX: -YEA, TOTALLY. (TURNS TO NICK) IS IT OK IF I STAY HERE?
RYAN: IF YOU’D LIKE, WE CAN TAKE YOU HOME, YOU’RE PRACTICALLY MY
NEIGHBOR.
NICK: SURE, NO PROBLEM. JUST CALL ME LATER.
ALEX: (KISSES NICK) THANKS, I LOVE YOU!
RYAN: THANKS, ALEX. (TURNS TO NICK) SO,
PLEASE DON’T BE MAD AT ME. I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG.
NICK: ..SO WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH YOU AND JOE?
RYAN: (DEEP BREATH) IT WAS A LONG, LONG TIME AGO. IT WAS ONE DATE. ONE DATE! IT HAPPENED BEFORE I EVEN KNEW YOU. THE ONLY PERSON THAT KNOWS IS DAN, WELL, FRED DOES TOO. AND NOW
EVERYONE KNOWS THANKS TO THAT DECEITFUL LITTLE PUNK.
NICK: YOU’RE RIGHT. YOU’RE RIGHT! I SHOULDN’T BE UPSET, IT WAS BEFORE I MET YOU. (PAUSES) I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY I’M ACTING LIKE THIS, WE AREN’T EVEN TOGETHER ANYMORE.
RYAN: (GIVING HIS SLY GRIN)BECAUSE YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH ME AND YOU CANT HIDE IT ANYMORE. RYAN TAKES TWO STEPS CLOSER TO NICK AND LOOKS UP AT HIM WITH OBVIOUS THOUGHTS GOING THROUGH HIS HEAD. NICK SMILES AND BACKS UP AGAINST THE WALL. RYAN LEANS IN AND KISSES HIS NECK. THE ELEVATOR DOORS OPEN AND THEY BOTH EXIT. RYAN HOLDS THE DOORS OPEN WITH HIS HANDS.
NICK: WELL, STUD. I’M TAKING OFF, I GUESS CALL ME TOMORROW.
RYAN LEANS IN TO KISS NICK AND AT LAST SECOND NICK PULLS
AWAY AND LETS AND RYAN KISS HIM ON THE FOREHEAD. RYAN CAN’T
HELP BUT SMILE. RYAN CLOSES THE ELEVATOR DOORS AND WIDENS
HIS FAMOUS SMILE.
INT. DAN’S LIVING ROOM-NIGHT
RYAN ENTERS THE LIVING ROOM FROM THE LOBBY. STEVE IS
WHISPERING SOMETHING IN JOE’S EAR AND SLIPS A BUSINESS CARD
IN HIS BACK POCKET. STEVE AND RYAN MAKES EYE CONTACT. HE
SLOWLY STRUTS OVER TO STEVE WHO SEEMS TO BE WAITING FOR RYAN
TO SAY THE FIRST LINE. EVERYONE CAN SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING
AND ADJUST THEMSELVES TO GET A BETTER VIEW. FRED REACHES
FOR THE VOLUME KNOB AND TURNS THE MUSIC DOWN SLOWLY.
RYAN: WOW, TAKING ON MORE TERRITORY?
STEVE: EXCUSE ME?
RYAN DOESN’T BREAK EYE CONTACT AS HE RAISES HIS VOICE TO
MAKE SURE DAN CAN HEAR HIS NEXT WORDS.
RYAN: YOU KNOW, YOU’RE BEING FLAT OUT DISRESPECTFUL TO MY FRIEND. ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
STEVE: (LOOKS CONFUSED) WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
RYAN REACHES FOR JOE’S BACK POCKET AND STEVE TRIES TO
INTERCEPT HIS HAND. JOE TAKES A STEP TOWARDS RYAN TAKING
AWAY ANY CHANCE STEVE HAD ON RETRIEVING THE BUSINESS
CARD. RYAN LOOKS UP TO JOE AND SMILES.
RYAN: THANKS, JOE. (WHISPERS) YOU’RE REALLY DODGING A BULLET HERE.
RYAN PULLS OUT THE BUSINESS CARD AFTER COPING A FEEL AND
HOLDS IT UP FOR EVERYONE TO SEE. DAN IS CONFUSED BY WHATS
HAPPENING AND LOOKS OVER AT STEVE. THE ROOM IS DEAD
QUIET. STEVE FINALLY BREAKS HIS DEATH STARE FROM RYAN AND
STRUGGLES FOR HIS WORDS.
RYAN: DAN, STEVE HAS A GIFT HE WAS SAVING FOR LATER- BUT IF YOU WANT IT NOW, IT’S UP TO YOU.
RYAN TURNS AROUND AND LOOKS AT DAN WHO CHANGES FROM SHAME TO SUPRISE.
DAN: READ IT OUT LOUD, RYAN.
RYAN: ’MEET ME DOWNSTAIRS IN FIVE MINUTES’
WIDE-EYED DAN EXITS THE LIVING ROOM AND HEADS TO HIS
BEDROOM. RYAN CAN’T HELP BUT SMILE HIS FAMOUS SMILE.
INT. DAN’S BEDROOM-NIGHT
DAN IS IN THE BEDROOM WHILE STEVE SOON FOLLOWS. DAN IS
LOOKING FOR THE MIRROR AND CHANGES HIS ATTITUDE WHEN IT IS
FOUND.
STEVE: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? IS THAT-COKE? DAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT, IT’S RYAN, HE FUCKING BROUGHT DRUGS INTO OUR HOME.
DAN: STEVE- SHUT UP. (DOES A LINE) I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU. (DOES ANOTHER LINE) NOTHING AT ALL. (PAUSES) YOU PROMISED ME,
STEVE! YOU LIED TO ME, AND I CAN’T TAKE THAT. YOU TOLD ME YOU WOULD STOP FUCKING AROUND ON ME.
STEVE: DAN, PLEASE, LET ME EXPLAIN.
DAN: I WON’T DO THIS. I’M NOT GOING TO DO THIS. I DON’T WANT TO LISTEN TO YOUR CREATIVE EXCUSES, AS CLEVER AS THEY SOUND AND HOW YOU ALWAYS LOOK LIKE THE VICTIM. (DOES ANOTHER LINE).
STEVE: YOU’RE IRRATIONAL LIKE THIS, I CAN’T TALK TO YOU WHEN YOU’RE ON THIS SHIT.
DAN: DON’T CHANGE THE SUBJECT. THIS ISN’T ABOUT THE COKE. THIS IS
ABOUT YOUR LITTLE COCK AND IT’S ESCAPADES. (PAUSES) I FUCKING
CARRY YOU STEVE, I PAY FOR ALL OF YOUR SCHOOLING, YOUR CAR, YOUR BILLS, YOUR DEBTS, EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING! (DOES ANOTHER LINE)
STEVE: (ANGRY) DAN, YOU KNOW I’M VERY THANKFUL FOR EVERYTHING YOU’VE GIVEN ME, I’VE ALWAYS EXPRESSED HOW GRATEFUL I AM.
(LONG PAUSE) I’M SORRY, DAN. I’M SORRY.
DAN: LOOK, WE’RE GOING TO GO OUTSIDE OF THAT DOOR AND WE ARE GOING TO HAVE FUN. THIS IS MY BIRTHDAY, I WANT TO HAVE FUN TONIGHT AND NOT WORRY ABOUT THIS UNTIL MY WEEKEND OF PARTYING IS OVER. UNDERSTOOD?
STEVE: (QUIETLY) YES, OF COURSE DAN.
DAN DOES ANOTHER LINE WHILE STEVE UNSUCCESSFULLY ATTEMPTS TO
GIVE DAN A HUG. DAN HIDES THE STASH IN HIS TOP DRAWER.
DAN: (SARCASTICALLY) LET’S GO HAVE SOME FUN!
EXT. DAN’S PATIO-NIGHT
ALEX IS ALONE ON THE PATIO SMOKING WHILE RYAN SLOWLY ENTERS
CLOSING THE DOOR BEHIND HIM. ALEX APPEARS NERVOUS AND
ATTENDS HER CIGARETTE. RYAN PULLS A CIGARETTE OUT OF HIS
PACK AND SLIPS THE BOX BACK INTO HIS JEANS POCKET. HE RUNS
HIS HANDS OVER HIS BODY AS HE SEARCHES FOR A LIGHT. ALEX,
AMUSED BY WATCHING HIM, GIVES IN AND EXTENDS HER HAND
EQUIPPED WITH A LIT LIGHTER. THE FLAME REVEALS LOVE ALL
OVER RYAN’S FACE.
RYAN: (LIGHTS CIGARETTE) THANKS.
ALEX: NO PROBLEM. (RELAXES, SCOOTS CLOSER TO RYAN) WHAT YOU DID IN THERE, THAT WAS AWESOME! WHY DID YOU DO THAT? LIKE THAT?
RYAN: DAN’S A FRIEND AND STEVE IS A PIECE OF SHIT. IT WAS BEYOND MY PLEASURE.
ALEX: I-EVERYONE, THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY BALLSY.
RYAN: TOO BAD NICK WASN’T HEAR TO SEE IT, HE WOULD OF LAUGHED.
ALEX: SO... YOU’RE STILL IN LOVE WITH NICK?
RYAN: (SMILES) GUILTY. (PAUSES) THERE’S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT HIM, YOU KNOW? HE’S FUNNY, HE MAKES ME SMILE, IT DOESN’T MATTER WHICH MOOD I’M IN, HE JUST... HAS THIS WAY WITH ME.
ALEX: (PAUSES) HE TALKS ABOUT YOU LIKE THAT, TOO. (LIGHTS A JOINT) I DON’T GET IT, WHAT HAPPENED? (INHALES SMOKE)
RYAN: A LONG STORY, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED. LET’S JUST SAY THAT I
HAVE MORALES, BELIEVE IT OR NOT. (TAKES A DRAG) I LOVE NICK, I LOVE HIM MORE THAN ALMOST BRYAN, (TAKES A LOOK INSIDE) BUT I WON’T
BECOME ANOTHER DAN AND STEVE.
ALEX: NICK DOESN’T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP. (PASSES TO RYAN) WHEN YOUR NAME COMES UP HE CHANGES THE SUBJECT. WHEN WE DRINK OR GO OUT, NOW THATS WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT YOU.
RYAN IS CAUGHT OFF GUARD BY THIS COMMENT BY ALEX AND SMILES.
RYAN: (TRIES TO ACT HUMBLE) REALLY?
ALEX: YES, REALLY!
RYAN: I JUST THOUGHT HE CLOSED THIS
CHAPTER OF HIS LIFE. (INHALES
SMOKE) I DON’T KNOW. (PAUSES) HE’S
NOT WILLING TO COMPROMISE THIS PART
OF HIS LIFE. THIS MEANS I HAVE TO
REEVALUATE MY POSITION ON
PERSONAL STANDARDS. ( INHALES
MORE SMOKE) I DON’T LIKE THINKING
ABOUT THAT.
RYAN PASSES THE JOINT TO ALEX AND SHE TAKES A HIT.
ALEX: CALL ME OLD FASHIONED, BUT WHEN I
LOVE SOMEONE, I WOULD DO ANYTHING
TO BE WITH HIM, NO MATTER HOW CRAZY
IT SOUNDS.
RYAN: THAT DOESN’T SOUND CRAZY AT
ALL. (SMILES) AHH, A GIRL WITH
MORALS. (PAUSES TO THINK) WHEN I
LIKE SOMEONE, I LET THEM GET AWAY
WITH JUST ABOUT ANYTHING. THERE’S
JUST THAT ONE THING THAT I CAN NOT
STAND! BAM! HE KNOWS THIS TOO!
RYAN GETS FRUSTRATED AND FLICKS HIS CIGARETTE OVER THE
BALCONY.
ALEX
WHOOPS.
THEY BOTH WATCH THE CHERRY FLY DOWN ALL 20 FLOORS INTO THE
BUSY STREET.
RYAN: ANYWAY, LET’S GO IN. THIS IS DAN’S DAY, LETS MAKE SURE HE HAS SOME FUN.
RYAN AND ALEX OPEN THE PORCH DOOR AND BEGIN TO HEAD
INSIDE. ON THEIR WAY IN BRYAN AND HIS FRIENDS HEAD
OUTSIDE. THE PASSING IS UNCOMFORTABLE FOR EVERYONE. RYAN
TURNS AROUND AND GOES BACK OUTSIDE.
EXT. DAN’S PORCH-NIGHT
RYAN SLOWLY OPENS THE PATIO DOOR. THE PATIO IS FILLED WITH
BRYAN AND HIS FRIENDS. THEY PICK UP A HINT WITH RYAN’S
PRESENCE AND EXIT THE PORCH LEAVING THE TWO BROTHERS
ALONE. BRYAN DOESN’T BOTHER TO TURN AROUND.
BRYAN: DID YOU COME OUT HERE TO CHASE MY
FRIENDS AWAY OR A CHANCE FOR YOU TO
APOLOGIZE?
RYAN LIGHTS A JOINT AND TAKES A DEEP BREATH. BRYAN
COUGHS. THEY ARE BOTH A GOOD THREE FEET AWAY NOT MAKING EYE
CONTACT.
RYAN: BOTH. I HATE YOU FRIENDS. (PAUSE)
AND, I’M SORRY.
BRYAN: FOR BEING A DICK?
RYAN: FOR BEING A DICK.
BRYAN: FOR LYING TO ME?
RYAN: AND FOR LYING TO YOU.
BRYAN: AND FOR NOT TELLING ME ABOUT JOE?
RYAN: I’M NOT SORRY ABOUT THAT, BRYAN. I LIKED JOE, I REALLY DID. WE HAD A THING, AND IT DIDN’T WORK OUT. BEFORE I KNEW IT YOU BOTH
WERE DATING. (TAKES A DEEP BREATH) I DIDN’T KNOW THAT YOU TWO
WERE GOING TO LAST, HONESTLY BRYAN I DIDN’T. I FIGURED YOU TWO WERE GOING TO DATE, MATE AND OUT THE GATE, LIKE YOUR OTHER ...MEN..
RYAN IS NOW NEXT TO RYAN LOOKING OUT AT THE ST. LOUIS CITY
AND ALL IT’S GLORY.
RYAN: THE NEXT THING I KNEW YOU TWO WERE GOING ON ONE YEAR. IT WAS PRETTY UNCOMFORTABLE FOR ME, I DON’T KNOW ABOUT HIM BUT BEING AT MOM’S HOUSE WAS THE WORST. (GETS EXCITED) IT WAS LIKE-
BRYAN: IT’S OK, YOU DON’T HAVE TO TELL ME. I REALLY DON’T WANT TO
KNOW. IT’S OVER. (PAUSES AND THEN RAISES HIS VOICE) GOD, RYAN. I
FEEL LIKE SUCH AN IDIOT! EVERYONE KNEW ABOUT THIS BUT ME EVERYONE! EVEN DAN!
RYAN: I KNOW, I’M SORRY. I MADE EVERYONE SWEAR TO ME THEY WOULDN’T SAY ANYTHING TO ME UNTIL I TOLD YOU.
BRYAN: YOU CAN’T BE LIKE THIS. YOU NEED TO BE HONEST WITH ME. WE ARE BROTHERS. WE ARE TWINS!
RYAN: YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND, BRYAN. I THINK THAT OUTRANKS EVERYTHING.
THE TWO TOAST.
BRYAN AND RYAN: TO GLITTER.
RYAN: AND MARIAH’S OSCAR NOM.
BRYAN: (LAUGHS) I WON’T CROSS MY FINGERS. (PAUSE) SO, ARE WE OK?
RYAN: YEA, (PAUSES) WE’RE COOL.
BRYAN: GOOD, GOOD DEAL. YOU KNOW, IT WOULD MAKE IT REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE FOR THE WORK PLACE IF THE ONLY TWO EMPLOYEES ARE IN A FIGHT.
RYAN LOOKS AT BRYAN AND SMILES.
RYAN: SERIOUSLY? IT’S BACK ON?
BRYAN: OF COURSE, ABSOLUTELY. I TALKED TO MR. TOHILL AND HE SIGNED A CONTRACT THIS AFTERNOON.
RYAN: GOOD, THAT ONE CONTRACT IS A GOOD START.
BRYAN: ON ALL EIGHT OF HIS DEALERSHIPS..
RYAN LOOKS AT BRYAN SKEPTICALLY. HE CRACKS HIS FAMOUS GRIN
AND GIVES BRYAN HIS EVIL STARE.
RYAN: YOU’RE KIDDING ME. YOU-ARE-(YELLING) FUCKING KIDDING ME!
BRYAN: NO SIR (HE SAYS SMILING). THIS IS IT RYAN. WE START MONDAY.
RYAN LETS OUT A LOUD MANLY SCREAM AND JUMPS UP AND DOWN IN
EXCITEMENT. THE PATIO DOOR SWINGS OPEN AND DAN POKES HIS
HEAD OUT.
DAN: ARE... WE.. OK? IS IT SAFE?
BRYAN SMILES AND RYAN PUTS DAN IN A HEAD LOCK AND CARRIES
HIM INSIDE BACK INTO THE PARTY.
INT. DANS LIVING ROOM PARTY-NIGHT
AS THEY MAKE THEIR WAY BACK IN BRYAN AND RYAN TELL THEIR
FRIENDS THE NEWS AND THERE IS A CELEBRATION HAD BY ALL. DAN
GIVES STEVE A DISAPPOINTED LOOK. FRED TAKES SHOTS WITH
ALEX. BRYAN JUMPS ON MIKE AND THEY MAKE OUT. RYAN HAS HIS
ARM AROUND DAN AND THEY TOAST.
FADE OUT:
EXT. RYAN’S FRONT PORCH-NIGHT
FRED DROPS OFF RYAN PAUSING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET
SHOWING NO MERCY TO THE OTHER DRIVERS ON THE ROAD.
FRED: CALL ME TOMORROW!
RYAN: OK, NOON, THE PARK.
FRED DRIVES OFF BLASTING HIS DANCE MUSIC. RYAN LOOKS FOR
HIS KEYS AND CAN’T FIND THEM. HE TAKES A DEEP BREATH CURSES
A FEW WORDS AND BEGINS TO DIAL WHEN THE PORCH LIGHT COMES
ON. THE DOOR OPENS AND MATT IS STANDING THERE WITH A SMILE
ON HIS FACE.
MATT: LET ME GUESS, YOU FORGOT YOUR KEYS.
RYAN: BING!
RYAN FLICKS HIS CIGARETTE IN THE STREET AND STUMBLES INSIDE
AND MATT CLOSES THE FRONT DOOR AND LOCKS IT UP.
INT. RYAN’S KITCHEN-NIGHT
MATT FOLLOWS RYAN INTO THE KITCHEN.
RYAN: SO WHAT ARE YOUR WEEKEND PLANS?
RYAN GRABS A COFFEE CUP HANGING FROM THE SHELF AND SEARCHES
FOR A COFFEE SINGLE.
MATT: I’M GOING OUT OF TOWN TOMORROW MORNING, YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME TO THE AIRPORT?
MATT GRABS A COFFEE SINGLE WITHOUT SEARCHING.
RYAN: OH THANKS (SMILES) SURE, NO PROBLEM, JUST WAKE ME UP AND GIVE: ME A FEW MINUTES TO WAKE UP.
MATT TURNS THE WATER ON FOR RYAN. RYAN PUTS HIS COFFEE IN
THE MICROWAVE FOR ONE MINUTE. MATT MAKES HIMSELF
COMFORTABLE LEANING AGAINST THE WALL.
MATT: SO HOW WAS DAN’S PARTY?
RYAN: IT WAS GOOD, REAL GOOD. I MET A NEW NEIGHBOR, ALEX. SHE LIVES RIGHT UP THE ROAD, SHE’S GOING TO SHOW ME AROUND, BLAH BLAH.
MATT: GOOD DEAL, GOOD DEAL.
RYAN PULLS HIS COFFEE OUT OF THE MICROWAVE.
RYAN: I’M OFF TO BED, I’LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.
MATT: GOOD NIGHT.
RYAN HEADS UP THE KITCHEN STAIRS AND MATT STAYS IN THE
KITCHEN TO CLEAN UP RYAN’S MESS.
EXT. RYAN’S GARDEN-NIGHT
RYAN ENTERS HIS GARDEN ON HIS ROOF AND SETS HIS DRINK DOWN
ON THE ROUND GLASS TABLE. HE PLOPS DOWN IN A GARDEN LOUNGE
CHAIR AND ADJUSTS HIMSELF TO GET COMFORTABLE. HE LOOKS UP
AT THE STARS, TAKES A DEEP BREATH AND TAKES A DRINK FROM HIS
CUP. HE PUTS HIS ARMS BEHIND HIS HEAD GIVING A SLIGHT SMILE
AS HE LIGHTS A CIGARETTE. HE SLOWLY RISES FROM THE CHAIR
AND REACHES OVER FOR HIS NOTEBOOK. AFTER IT STARTS HE
CHECKS HIS EMAIL:
RYAN, I AM LOOK FORWARD TO WORKING WITH YOU AND YOUR BROTHER. WE WILL HAVE PLENTY TO DISCUSS MONDAY MORNING. GET SOME REST STUD! K. TOHILL P.S. THANKS FOR SWEETENING THE POT, I’LL SEE YOU ON SATURDAY NIGHT AND DON’T WORRY, I WON’T TELL BRYAN.
RYAN: (WHISPERS SOFTLY) GOD, I SOLD MY SOUL.
HE CLOSES THE EMAIL AND THE DESKTOP REVEALS A PICTURE OF
RYAN AND NICK SITTING ON A JET SKI WHILE ON VACATION AT THE
OZARKS.