Going Back to America

I am a Christian woman. Born in America my mother taught me that god comes first in your life. She would always say that god is the most important thing because he will always love you, understand you and god will always be there for you when you need him the most. I try to teach my son Richard the same thing. Right now, he is just four years of age. The cutest thing in Mexico. He gets his tan from his Hispanic Father. Also his jet-black hair and golden brown eyes. But his freckles and hopefully his height from Me. Me and my amor share the same sensitivity and creativity and I think I see that in are son to.  I met my amor in America, in my freshman year of high school. My Amor was a junior, also an illegal from Mexico. It never bothered me ever. Until I realized that, he would go back to his home and eventually leave me. The end of my sophomore year was one of the worst day in my whole life. It was goodbye, but we were in love so we made a promise.
Ever since my freshman year, we were talking about marriage and kids eventually. Therefore, we promised to wait until I was 18. Then I would find him in Mexico and we will get married and bare a child. That was the last night I sneaked out, my days skipping class, hanging out with my friends, or getting a full nights sleep were over. The Amor of my life was gone. I was not sure if I would ever see him again. In my junior year of high school, I was 16 and was pregnant with Richard. My parents were so disappointed but they understood. I loved him with all my heart, with every piece of me. I graduated high school with a year and a half old son and it was the happiest day of my life. I was only 17 but my parents gave me permission to go find my amor. Ever since my amor left, I saved up all my money. I saved almost 20 grand. I bought a car then me and Riki went to Mexico. My amor had an uncle who owned a restaurant and the day I walked in he knew why I was there. I swear he almost cried, I did.
         I got my amor’s location and Riki and I went to Mexico. I am bilingual.
I speak Spanish as fluently as I speak English. So it was not hard to get around Mexico. Me and my love got married, had are own house and everything was exactly as we wanted it. He worked in construction and I taught English at an elementary school. Everything was beautiful, id fallen in love with Mexico. My dream had come true.
After three years, there was a war. Every man was taken in the draft 4 years minimum.
The day the soldiers came to take him, they broke down the door and demanded to speak with him. Riki was crying in my arms. I was to. Before the soldiers took him, my love told me everything was going to be alright. He told me that it is going to be for a short time and when he comes back everything will be better than before. He told me to go take Riki and find my parents in America and go to collage. Enroll Riki in school and get a job. Save as much as possible to send home. So we will both have enough money to come home to. Then he turned to Riki, who was telling his Papi to never leave him. My Amor got on his knees so he was at almost at equal height with his son. “Listen close; you are my soldier, my man and my son. Take good care of your mother.” My amor started to tear and kissed his son on the forehead. “I love you son” then he gave me the last kiss we will share in four years.
         I remember that day. The look on his face, the noise in the background, even how many step my Amor took when he walked out the door and jumped in the back of the truck with the other men. I looked desperately for the phone. Dialed the numbers I have not dialed for years. I called my mom in Washington. I could not stop crying when I was trying to explain the situation. I told her I was going to go to collage and get a four-year degree. My mom had nothing but sympathy and agreed to let me stay in her house one more time. After the phone call, I put my son in bed and slept on the couch. The pains of sleeping in are bed without by husband was too harsh.
         Before I went to wake up Riki I had a cigarro. A nasty habit I left behind in my high school years. Riki and I walked to My loves sisters house. It was a long walk so I ended up carrying my son half way. His sister and I became relatively friends. I was closer to her than any other family member of my amors. My son played with some kids outside as me and my loves sister talked. Her husband had been taken to. However, she thought it was crazy taking Riki to America. She thought it would be better for him if he stayed with her. I knew that could never happen. I cannot loose everything for four years. I would never give my son up. I do not want to miss four years of his life. She agreed and I gave her my parent’s phone number and address.
         I wrote a letter to my amor saying that everything was ok and that we were leaving to America.
         Right now, I am in California with Riki. I always thought the hardest thing would be leaving my family in America to come to Mexico. Nevertheless, I was wrong; it was leaving the love of my life to go back to America. Riki and me have been in the car for hours without stopping and needed a place to rest. I did not have much money. Maybe 6,000 pesos, 600 dollars in American money. Gas was so expensive that I already spent almost 400 dollars on food and gas. From California to Washington is about another days drive. So I parked over at the closest rest stop. Took my son in to get some breakfast at the closest Mexican restaurant and use the bathroom. 23 dollars for breakfast, which gives me 150 dollars left. I could not believe that me and my son only have 150 American money left.