"Are you trying to kill us, Lord?"

  Cold sweat came streaming down my face and across my chest. My hair and brows were already drenched in salt as hot air blew toward my face. Ahead of me is an encampment of brutes – an army whose weapons know only blood and whose minds know no mercy. I looked at them. The camp was a sea; I couldn’t even see the end of it through the horizon. They were an army of relentless fiends. I looked behind me and saw my own army with eyes of regret. They were not even warriors. They knew that their strength and experience wouldn’t match their enemies’.  They were few and weak. They’re doomed. Then I looked at myself. I couldn’t even stand straight. My legs were shivering. My eyes were downcast. My hands couldn’t hold on to my blade anymore. My body was ready to die. I looked up. I felt like shouting, “Are you trying to kill us, Lord?!”



  I dropped my pen and thought for a while: No one would want to be in Gideon’s shoes. No one would want to be in the losing end of a battle. No one would feel like to be trampled down. But in the midst of seeing blood all over, each of us has a tendency to ask, “What now Lord?”

  The army of monsters comes in our lives as lack of finances, family disputes, faulty career, failing ministries, academic failures, unpaid rents, large debts, acute and chronic illnesses, guilt from past deeds, depressing background, mental and physical incompetence, or broken and bitter relationships.  These struggles sap our strength and eventually take away our lives. With all these things troubling us from    time to time, it is expected of us to look for support. Ironically, whenever we try to look for solutions, we feel like the problems are just growing bigger and bigger. Whenever we look behind, we don’t see any help. Whenever we look at ourselves, we only see how miserable we’ve become. And when we look up, we only feel like pointing our finger to God.

  What gives us the feeling that we have all the right in the world to blame our wretchedness on God? When were we given the consent to surrender?

  With these thoughts, I pressed on.



  I looked up. But before I was about to shout, God motioned me to look at the sunrise. “What do you see?”

  “I see the sun, Lord.”

  "I created it just as I created you and everyone around you. IS ANYTHING TOO HARD FOR ME?”



  Yes, that’s it. We all rant and complain whenever problems cross our way. We tend to let our emotions drag us down. We magnify what’s missing and hurting; we fail to see WHO’s ready to back us up. We forget to stop and listen to the one who calls the shots. Is the magnificence of God’s creation never enough for us to know WHO’s with us - WHO's in charge?

  My heart was racing. I was ready to end my piece.



  I looked behind and saw my army. They stood confidently with abs more obvious than Spartans’ and with light sabers in hand. I looked at myself and saw a creation of God…a man made in His own image…a victor. I looked at my enemies and saw flies and vultures feasting on their corpses. Everybody was celebrating victory with me even if the battle is yet to start.

  When I looked up, I saw God. I raised my sword, led my army into the fray and let out a war cry, “To victory! For God!"