A Few Seconds with Jesus

This experience brings me back to October of 1998. It was just like any other Sunday. Back then, everything was good, Mom and Dad were both okay, and enjoying their day. I myself had decided to go to the 1030am service at our church.Back then, our church was still a beautiful little country church.It had all the old fashion decor that made you feel just right at home,such as simple wood pews and a tradional altar, complete with beautiful statues symbolizing just some of the high points of our Catholic faith.
It was the usual service on this Sunday in October. Complete with a reverant, average size crowd and a minister who was obviously annointed with the Spirit of the Lord.
As a Catholic, my belief is in the Lords real presence during what we call the "Eucharist" or Communion rite. In this ritual,the priest has blessed bread and wine into what we believe to represent the true presence of the Lords body and precious blood. We believe this because, we believe in the Holy Bible and what it says. And in it, as it gives the account of the "Last Supper" it says that Jesus told the Apostles as he blessed and broke the bread, that,"This is my body,take and eat,and this is my blood,take and drink." We believe he did this, so that we would have something of him here with us,after he went to heaven at the ressurection.
That being said, as I watched the people in the congregation go forward, to receive communion, I began to think about this "true presence" and what that might mean.
I began to wonder what I might feel and do if I really could see Jesus there at the altar waiting for me to come to him. I realized how excited I would be, yet very scared to say anything to such power. I realized I would look at the clothes I had on ,to see if it would do the occasion justice. I actually was worried that I look my best, and hoped that my hair and makeup looked okay. And of course,I realized that I would want time with him, to talk to him, and that I wanted him to know all about me, just like as if I had just met a new friend.
Then I looked at the current setting. I watched as the congregation one by one got up to walk up to the altar for communion. I noticed the casual clothes, the nonchalant attitude, the day dream look in the eyes and faces that said they were thinking about something else.
As I waited for my turn , I again pictured the Lord at the altar waiting for all of us.
He looked very very regal. And also very distinguished and handsome. His eyes had a very intense look of love and longing, but yet sadness, to see the lack of interest and enthusiasm.As we would also feel, if we met with someone and sensed that they didnt think much of the time or the occasion that they had to spend with you. I could sense the knowledge of a God and "parent" who understood,though, that these children of his may not fully comprehend and therefore should not be held fully responsible for their lack of zeal. His all knowing,all encompassing gaze fully accessed each face as they approached him.
HIs power was intensely overwhelming.I could sense that, and feel that immediately. Instantly, you knew that you were in front of your God. It was the instinct of a creature who had found its maker. This was the Lord God. The one who could let you live and breath another moment, or not. This was the Master of the universe.
Again, my thoughts turned to the congregation and I wondered once more,what they would do, if they were to have the same thoughts I were having. Would they still be daydreaming and not paying attention? Would they be upset with the outfit they had on?
Then, my thoughts turned to the Lord. I wondered how he must feel, to watch so many with such a non chalant attitude about him, approach him at the altar.
I began to want to apologize, to make him feel better, so he wouldnt be hurt. This is not an uncommon reaction to have when you feel or see someone hurting , I think many try to help in this scenerio.
As my turn approached, I was wanting to tell him how much it meant to me that he was there and how awesome it was to see him. I wanted to tell him I was sorry if he was insulted but that the people just didnt realize what was happening here, right now. I also had lots of questions as you could imagine.
Then, as I took communion, and started to pray. Something amazing occured. I could actually sense his presence very physically. I could feel interiorly, something words could never give justice to. It was a love that goes way beyond what we know as love.It was all powerful and all consuming, It was literally crushing to the physical senses of the body. I actually dont know how i remained standing.For that matter, I dont remember standing.I dont recall being aware of the physical surroundings of the church at this point. I was as helpless as a puppet. I could do nothing. HIs power was over my entired being, both body and soul.
As his heart hooked on to my heart, he was able to read all my thoughts and actions, and intentions, at will. I could only submit. I prayed for mercy, being such a small creature in front of an almighty power.
I could not explain, go back and change or redo anything. I felt so very sad at the things he was dissapointed at. How could I dissapoint such love? In my heart I vowed to try to never again offend him, ever again! He didnt deserve it!
Also, the things I may of been afraid of, It was made very clear to me that he was t the power over all. That to be afraid is not faith in this power of his,or this love of his for all us. It was made totally clear that any and all outcome to any and all situations is entirely at his discretion, but that we do get what we ask for. If we make wrong choices then we get the consequences. He will not change our free will. However, there is a battle between good and evil here on earth. And I do know with out one doubt, what the final outcome will be. Evil will never prevail, it hasnt a chance against this power. Nothing does. As I was subject to this power, it was somehow known to me that this power would never be used against me unjustly. I didnt need to feel small or afraid of it. But those that despise it, or crucify it here on earth, I would say this. Be very afraid. He was here before and got crucified and next time it is his turn to prevail. Trust me on this completely.
As I all of a sudden looked up at the priest, who had given me communion,I knew that this experiance which had seemed like a lifetime was only seconds long. As I had not held up the communion line or made anyone wait. I looked at the priest trying to be able to figure out what had just happened to me and why?
As I made my very shakey and faint way back to my pew, ,which i was lucky to find because I was still a bit disoriented and still somewhat in shock,I wondered what it was,that I should now know, and why did this happen ? What did it tell me?
I can think of several things. When I do finally go to him for judgement, I have felt his love and don't want to be ever away from it..and least of all I never want to be turned away to hell. HIs law is uncompromising,so I will choose wisely what I do and say, and believe in,and stand for ,what i condone and what I don't condone.If you stand for and support something he considers in his book to be sin, then you have a good chance of getting written out of his book and heart. Especially if you know the commandments., and Bible, because you knew! We have been told. We have what we need.Faith, Hope, Love..and its all wrapped up in the name of Jesus. We have the faith because he came and told us and showed us.We have the love because he came and told and showed us. We have hope because of his faith and love that he showed us.We are not alone, May God Bless You.