Bound By Words Chap. 6

((Brendon's POV))



Holy Motherfuckin' Flapjack Tossing League of Spiritual Deliverance!

So I know we all thought it could never happen ((am I right? Face it, there's no way you had faith in me)), but Ryan and I are actually good friends.

Seriously!

Seriously!

Seriously!

AND I AINT SHITTIN' YOU, I SWEAR!

ITS AMAZAZING!

So we had to put off our Friday meet for some awkward, offbeat, last minute thing that popped up for Ryan. Meaning that before we got any closer, it was two weeks of getting to know each other.

And I fully understand how gay I sound right now, but still, you have to admit that its a big event.


So currently it was just Ryan and I and instead of meeting at his place ((something else last minute came up)), we were at mine.

My house was fairly sized, lots of trees and plants and shit in the front, chairs and a water fountain in the back. The windows were tinted a seafoam green and the outside was dark brown brick.

"I know, I cant believe it either!" Ryan was gaping behind me, in response to a story about one of his friends getting his girlfriend knocked up a few days ago.

"Shh," I motioned to him, opening the door. "MOM! I"M HOME!"

"BRENDON! I cannot believe you left your house in such bad shape this morning and where are your manners, you father is sleeping! And I bought that cereal specially for you and left it on the counter this morning and you didnt even touch it! And you left your dirty laundry on the bathroom floor and your wet towel in the hallway and I had to pick it up again, and the cat missed breakfast this morning because you decided to sleep in and-"

Finally, she paused as she walked into the room, feather duster in hand. Her eyes shifted to Ryan, a somewhat shocked look on her face. "Oh," and she set the cleaning utencils down as she eyed him. "Why hello."

"Mom, this is Ryan. Er, Ross." Feeling much like a used car salesman, I gestured up and down his thin frame.

Dont even get me started on his body. Dont.

"Well hello, Ryan, nice to meet you." With that smile of hers she greeted him warmly, but she didnt shake his hand. I knew why, too, which disturbed me. On first impressions, my mom is huge, and if you dont exactly come across religious, she's extremely iffy about you.

"Nice to meet you, too, Mrs. Urie." Ryan grinned, that small grin he has when he doesnt really mean it. He began scratching and messing with his hair like he does when he's nervous.

I've taken a noticing to how he moves ((as rapist as that sounds)). Like, what things mean what emotion. The one he does the most is the hair-ruffle thing, the puckering of the lips being a runner-up showing that he's refraining from saying something.

He's quite easy to read actually, I can tell when he's feeling any time, anywhere.


"Ryan's just gonna be here for a while, okay?"

I knew I'd get murdered for the last minute stunt later, but I had better things to focus on, more compelling things, like Ryan.

"Yeah, sure! Do you need anything?"Her smile could have caused the birds to migrate early, its was quite scary.


"No, we're fine." I reassured her and pulled Ryan by the wrist up the stairs.

Alright, so normally things wouldnt be so smooth between us, on either of our parts, but things have gotten so much easier. We sit at lunch and even when he's off with more 'important' people, things are still awkwardly comfortable.

"Okay," I sighed,over-exaggeratingand shutting the door behind us. "I'm pretty sure we're safe."

Ry laughed and sat down cross-legged on my bed like he normally did when we talked, and he smiled at me like he always does when he finds my acts so stupid its funny.

"I cant believe Zach and Anna would do that." he continued, closing his eyes and shaking his head in disbelief. "I'm never having kids. Ever. Or getting married, for that matter."

"Why?" I leaned my head to one side as I sat down next to him, but turned so that I faced his left side.

"I-its disgusting. I mean, babies are like little Barbie dolls. 'Oh I hope its a boy, hope its a girl, hope it has crystal blue eyes, hope it has my nose'. God damn, its your accident, be happy with what you get." His face scrunched up to lookappalledand Ilaugheda little.

"Not even with your amazing girlfriend?" I smirked, challenging. Before he responded, I added, "I never have seen her,"

"Oh," he looked at me all alert and convincing, head jerking up. "Thats because she goes to my old school."

"Mmh." I nodded, heart sinking a little. I was hoping that maybe they'd broken up by now or she'd fallen off the face of the earth and on to the sun where she burned to ashes like in my dreams or something.

"Yeah. We don't get to see each other very often. I mean, she's nice and all, but sometimes I feel like...she doesnt care." and he looked from his hands in his lap to me, though it looked like he was still pondering the thought.

"Whad'you mean?" I frowned at him, trying real hard to decipher this boy's private life.

"Well, like, when I talk to her, aboutmeI mean, its almost like she's just waiting for me to shut up." I was confused but he shrugged it off and so did I.

"Well at least girls wanna date you. Ive been single for quite a while now." My tone had a factual scoff to it, and I wondered whether or not I'd said it right.

"You have?" and he almost sounded disbelieving. "Uh," and he looked back down. "I-I know this is kind of a weird question, but..."

He trailed off, dismissing what he was about to say with a wave of his hand.

"What?" Obviously I wanted to know, prodding him for an answer.

"No, i-its stupid." he gave a dismissive wave again.

"What?"

"I was wondering i-if you know..." and he bit hislip so hard I swear it was about to burst. "If you were bi or anything.."

"What do I just radiate gayness?" I sounded offended, mostly joking but taken aback all the same.

"NO!" he was quick to compromise, "I was just wondering."

"I dont know," I sighed, "Maybe. Ive never liked a guy, or dated one or anything like that. W-well, technically I can't really, I'm Mormon."

"Well thats gay!" his face scrunched up and I couldnt help but laugh at the noticeable irony in that statement. "Well not literally, you know."

His eyes squinted like he was trying to understand something and I prepared for another one of his famous 'its so stupid cavemen probablydodo it' rants.

"I-I mean, the whole religion is just a giant 'DONT DO' book. Why should something that is written on paper have the power to control your life? A-and religion is one huge walking controversial popsicle, I mean I know you really believe in whatever shit theyre throwing your way but should it stop you from...being yourself? Why should anything stop you from feeling what you cant even try or attempt to change? The idea is absolutely sickening, and the fact that so many people are and chair's edge, ready to jump up and obey everything the religion tells them they should is deafening to my comprehension. Its just wrong. And not that I'm saying that its alright for you to be gay, because I dont think you are, but if you are it applies all the same then. Its just...its not your fault that you love someone and no one can say that it is, because you cant force yourself in and out of love without immense emotional pain, its like screaming for hours to your vocal chords, its just awful."

I gaped at him, eyes wide, mouth hanging open a little.

It wasnt the amount of words that he had said that amazed me ((though it was quite the shock)), it was the words themselves. It made so much fucking sense to me. Which was scary, you know? Because I'm supposed to be the good little Mormon boy, and Ive been raised like that. Nice to know I'm so weak-minded that just like that I could even consider not obeying it.

Then I gape at not just the words, but the boy who spewed them. It was fascinating. He was always one to make points, always one to relate a big issue to something that makes more sense. The intensity of his thoughts was...gorgeous.


He looked up from his downcast gaze to look at me with those toffee marbles. "What?" he blushed.

"Nothing," I smiled, snapping out of it, "Its just, youre right again."

He laughed that gorgeous laugh and I smiled, satisfied.

The moment was killed by the sounds of the Boxman's Girlfriend song.


"Boxman! Boxman! Boxman cant get a girlfriend! He's tryi-"

"Hello? Dad. Dad I'll be there later. Dad!"

The only sound from the blue flip phone was yells, loud and masculine.

"Dad, come on!" After a few more seconds of deliberate yells, he shut it and sighed.

"What is up with your dad?" I scoffed, giving him a 'wtf' look.

"Nothing he's just...old."

That was a dumbass excuse. I mean, John McCain is old, too, but you dont see him chucking chairs at Obama.

I shot an incredulous look in his direction and he bit the inside of his lip, puckering them.

"He drinks."

I pursed my own, thinking about what to say. "Like...compulsively?"

He nodded, which kind of scares me.

"Oh. Well, he doesnt hurt you, does he?"

Pause.

All of a sudden he hopped up, grabbing his bag from the floor and placing a hand on the doorknob of my bedroom door. "I should go."

"Ryan." and I looked expectantly at him, and he just looked back with that 'do I have to' gaze.

"Fine, but I want an explanation eventually."

He nodded and smiled, making his way out.

I heard his footsteps trail down the stairs and out the door, bracing myself.

"Seems nice enough," my mom appeared out of nowhere, standing in my doorway.

"He is," I reassured.

"How are his parents?"

Knowing Ryan in this situation, he would have wanted me to lie for him. So, I smiled and said, "Theyre absolutely wonderful. Just the best batch of people ever!"


"Mmh." sheside-smiled, satisfied as she walked away.


God Ryan, youre spreading the disease.


Well, not that disease, but you know what I mean.