Fatally Yours

Dear Lover,

         I cannot wait to see you again.  I miss your touch and your sweet embrace.  I miss the time we’ve spent together, just laying within each other.  I am miserable without you.  Oh why must we be so many miles apart!  I thought about the last time we were together, how we argued.  Baby, I’m so sorry if I hurt you, you know I never meant to.  It's just that, I feel, you don’t try to see things from my point of view.  I know that we’re not perfect, and I don’t expect you to be.  But you must understand I am a woman with feelings, with emotions!  And I don’t wish to be played with.  Sometimes I wish you’d just been straight up with me in the beginning.  Maybe things would have been different.

         Being here is a new experience for me but I think it’ll do the both of us some good if we spent some time apart.  My room is on the ninth floor and I’m able to gaze into the courtyard if I so desire.  My roommate’s name is Destiny and I don’t know if I’ll like her any, if at all.  She’s a neat freak, constantly scrubbing and cleaning things.  Wiping and re-wiping things down.  You know how messy I am.  She always cleaning up after me and half the time, I can’t find any of my stuff… and she’s white.  I never knew a white girl named Destiny.  She takes hours and hours in the shower.  Of course I make fun of her but she says that I’m just not as clean as her and she doesn’t see anything wrong with being clean.  Cleanliness is next to Godliness she says.

         Anyway, the first week was ok but they say it’s only going to get harder.  I miss having you to talk to about all my problems!  The cafeteria food is just like high school if not worse.  Well anyway, I’m about to go to bed.  I love you and miss you, write back soon,

Faithfully Yours.
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Dear Lover,

         I have checked the mail everyday hoping that there is something for me from you… and there hasn’t been.  I know you’re probably in pieces ‘cause you can’t see me right now, but try to hold it together baby, it’s hard for me too.  Not a moment goes by that I don’t think about you.  You’re in my thoughts and prayers.  I hope all is well with you and I know that you’ll write when you get the chance.  We’re both going through a transitional period and we’re both adjusting.  Trust me baby, I understand -that’s why I’m not mad.  Just try to make some time for me baby, I wanna hear from you. 

         Today Destiny stayed in bed all day, complaining that she didn’t know what the world was coming to and saying something about the air we breathe being dirty.  I just tuned her out.  I had a lot on my mind this past week.  I can’t help but wonder, what are you doing?  Who are you with?  But then I know how faithful you are to me and I put my heart at ease.  The chicken was burned in the cafeteria so I opted not to eat it.  I think that I wanna lose weight, so I’ma start watching what I eat.  I know that it will be awhile before we see each other but when we do meet again, I’m going to look so good for you baby!  I hope that you’re thinking about me.  Write me back soon baby,

Faithfully Yours.
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Dear Lover,

         Weeks have passed and not one word from you.  I’ve been writing you everyday.  Have you been getting my letters?  I’m starting to think that that bitch is keeping them from you.  Yeah, you know that bitch I’m talking about.  The one you said you thought was sooo ugly, the one you said looked like a little boy.  The one you were fucking all along with all these other women behind my back and everybody knew it but me!  Yes, I said that I forgave you, but you don’t write me back, I guess everything you ever told me was a lie! You said that you would be together forever!  You said that those women meant nothing to you, they were just fucks!  But now I’m the one that’s getting fucked!  You probably haven’t been able to write me because you’re probably fucking some bitch right now!  Don’t worry baby… you’re gonna get what’s coming to you.  TEN-FOLD.

Faithfully Yours.

P.S.  You’re closer than you think you are.
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Dear Lover,

         Today they asked me about you.  And I couldn’t give you up.  I would never rat you out.  Even though you’ve done unspeakable horrible things to me, I still love you and would protect you to the end.  Baby, I’m so depressed.  I can’t help but think you’re with other women when you don’t write.  These days, I only leave my room to check to see if there is a letter from you to me.  There never is.  I’m starting to wonder if they found you.  If they have sweet heart, please know that I did not give you up… I would protect you with my life, my soul if I could.  Destiny is always snooping around my stuff when she supposedly “cleaning up”.  Oh my God, do you think she told them?  Baby, I would KILL that bitch for you!  I’m going to find out if they found where you are baby… you know I love you right?  You know I would never betray you right?

         I can’t eat, can’t sleep not knowing what happened to you.  I’ve lost that weight I was trying to lose but baby, but, I gotta tell you, I’m far from fine.  That bitch Destiny says I look like a ghost.  The doctor prescribed me something but I feel worse than better.  And it’s rained a lot lately too.  Weeks on end almost.  Sometimes I sit in the window and wonder if it’s raining where you are.  Hopefully where you are, there’ll never be any rain.  If you can baby, write me back to let me know that they haven’t found you… I’m sorry about my last five letters; I was really stressed out and angry.  I know we said that we don’t deal from the past and that we must always look toward our future together.  Baby I’m worried.  Do we have a future together?  Write back soon baby, I love you.

Faithfully Yours.
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Dear Lover,

         It’s been almost two years and not one fucking letter from your mark ass.  Not one.  You must think I’m some kinda whore, some bitch who you can just screw over and mess with.  Well, you done fucked with the wrong one.  Today they asked me about you again, and I almost gave you up!  But there’s a difference between you and I.  I’m going to be loyal to you even in the end.  I would never betray you under any circumstances.  Destiny knows that now… we’ve gotten close over the two years we’ve spent together, she’s actually not that bad.  She would never betray you because she would never betray me.  But I’m fighting in my head!  There’s an ongoing battle.  One side says, just forget him, the other? The other side says, don’t give him up, you love him!  I wonder if this separation has done us any good.  I’d like to say that it has if I hadn’t felt so miserable the whole time.  Some days I’m sure the police have found you; other days, I just pray they stopped looking years ago.  Either way baby I would never give you up, you fucking deceitful whoring liar.

         I’m thinking of taking a trip to visit you.  ‘Cause let’s face it, even though you haven’t written me…I know where you are.  And baby, I’m never telling anybody ever.  Not ‘til you pay for what you’ve done to me.  Hope to see you soon baby…

Faithfully Yours.
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The short stocky nurse was new and everybody knew it.  The other nurses had their own cliques, had already established camaraderie and built a rapport with each other.  The tall slim nurse was outgoing and well liked by every one.  It would be easy to like her, she had a welcoming smile, and was very good at making people feel special. 

“I was nervous my first week too,” the tall nurse grinned to the short, stocky nurse.  Just then, an emaciated young woman shuffled her way down to the nurses station with a letter in hand.  Her clothes were worn, and they had better-left-untold stains on them.  Her hair was stringy and her lips were chapped.  Very chapped.  She had large beautiful eyes, but they were vacant.  It was if her soul had left her body years ago.  The young woman dropped the letter at the nurses station and abruptly turned around and shuffled away.  She left an unclean rank smell in her wake.

The tall slim nurse shook her head.  “It’s a shame.  She writes him a letter every day.”

“She writes who a letter?” inquired the short stocky nurse.  She’d noticed the routine but didn’t question anyone about it.

“Her boyfriend”, responded the tall, slim nurse. 

Another nurse laughed, “Girl… that girl nuttier than they come.  I personally don’t like to have anything to do with her but what can I say?  I do work at a mental facility for the criminally insane!”  The other nurses chimed in with their laughter.

“Wow, he must never write her back.  That must be painful for her.”  The short stocky nurse felt a pang of empathy for the girl being in a place like this and being shunned by her loved ones.  She never received a single visitor or letter.  At least not since she started there.

“How he gonna write her back?” said the fourth nurse at the station. The other nurses exchanged knowing glances and still others chuckled at the short stocky nurse’s ignorance.  “That dude is dead.”

“Dead?” the stocky nursed replied. 
“Yeah, girl dead.  She fatally stabbed him 27 times.  Then she chopped up all his body parts with a butcher knife.  And that ain’t even all of it.”

The short stocky nurse looked on in disbelief and the other nurse continued her story.  “They ain’t even found his head.  They still looking for it.  Found all the body parts but the head.  Don’t know if she hid it, buried it, ate it or what.  They ask her about it from time to time but she always play crazy.”  The nurse finished with a sigh and suddenly everyone was silent until another nurse said, “That girl ain’t playing crazy that’s for damn sho’!!!  What do you think writing a letter to a dead man you killed is?  If that ain’t the definition of crazy, I don’t know what is.”

A nervous chuckle erupted behind the nurses station before they disbursed and went their separate ways.