Greenwood

Greenwood







I ask myself, how does one start a letter to one who is already dead. I want you to know you were cared about, you always were whether you believed it or not. If not by the people who you led me to believe didn‘t, than at least by me. You took something very important from me, something you should have known better than to take. None the less, you will be missed dearly. I wish for you, greater opportunities in the next life than you had in this. Wherever you are I hope you can see those you left behind and maybe even pray for them. I hope to see you again sometime.
-Ryan Michaels






1

The cold woods were dark and damp. As he ran, the bulge in Ryan’s right pocket stung him a bit as its corner protruded lightly, yet persistently into his thigh. He was wincing from the irritation in his leg, but the reaction was purely instinct. His mind was elsewhere.
Heavily panting now, Ryan broke from his run. He stopped only momentary bent over trying to catch his breath before he continued at a more somber walking speed. His face looked drained and emotionless, but that was far from how he felt. He thought at any moment now the first tear would coming rolling off his face, but still it held.
He continued to walk, one step after another. He was peaceful now. It was as if he had so much built up worry and stress that it finally imploded on itself and left him momentarily devoid of all thought. Of course this feeling only lasted until he reached the bridge. It crossed no more than a skinny river, but from his mind’s eye it seemed to stretch on endlessly.
Now he reached for that object in his right jeans pocket, a pack Marlboro filtered cigarettes. He opened it up, there were three remaining. He took one and raised it to his mouth where he let it limply hang from his lips as he leaned over the edge staring into the river in the direction it was flowing downstream. He dug deeper into his pocket to pull out the cheap lighter he had purchased from a kum ‘n go. He held the cigarette over the flame and inhaled deeply.
Now he stood there focusing his weight onto the railing. He was barely breathing in the smoke. He simply let it burn on its own accord. He was busy being mesmerized by the water. It sure brought back memories, both good and bad. He remembered back to when woods were just woods, a mystic place for kids to dream up horror stories and have epic sword battles with nothing but sticks and twigs. This place was different now.
He stayed there until the cigarette started burning his lips and he was forced to toss it into the rushing nighttime water. He watched the red glow of it drifting down and land in the water and a tear was soon to race it down. He had done what he had to do.
He started walking back towards his house. He could constantly hear things all around him. There were always things moving in the foliage and while he barely noticed it on his emotional sprint, he had now drained all his remaining adrenaline and the creeping sounds of the night began to bother him. In these sounds one noise stood out, it was something large, but sloppy. It wasn’t the graceful doings of a deer, but the shuffling of a human.
“Hello, is someone out there.” Ryan called.
There was a slight pause for about three seconds to which Ryan began to consider it really was an animal, before a girl’s voice called back, “Who are you?”
She sounded about forty yards off the path. “My name’s Ryan Michaels. What are you doing out there?”
She didn’t respond with words but with more shuffling, this time in his direction. “Hi.” She said as she pushed a branch aside and stepped into his vision.
“Hi yourself.” He told her, “Now, I’m still curious as to what business you have stumbling through the woods in this blackness off the path at nearly eleven thirty at night.”
He couldn’t see much with the trees even blotting out the moon and stars, but what did peek through was enough to reflect a glance of light off a tear rolling down her left cheek. She raised her hand to it and pushed it away. “My mom’s being a real bitch.” She told him. “I just had to get away. I guess I could ask you the same question.”
“Not really, I wasn’t walking blind off the path. There are sudden drop offs I’ve seen out here that you could barely notice in the day, let alone in a place this dark. If you want to know why I’m out here, it’s a bit more complicated I guess.”
“Oh.” Was all she said back to him. They just stood there silently for a brief moment both unsure of what to say.
Ryan broke the silence first. “What, may I ask, is your name?”
“Jess, Jess Friedman. I’m going to be a junior this year at Tristfal High.”
“Really? I’m going to be a senior there this upcoming year. Well tomorrow, I guess.” He was a bit worried she was uninterested in all this talk since he couldn’t see her face and she wasn’t saying much, but he chalked it up to common social paranoia. “Anyway Jess, want me to walk you back home? Wherever that may be?”
She looked up and noticed one single bright star that was perfectly shining through the leaves. “I suppose I should get home. My mom has probably calmed down a little by now.”
They walked side by side in the dark. Ryan noticed that whenever a noise was made in the dark, Jess tended to creep in closer to him and he start to embrace these frightening noises rather than have them bother him. He kept his face pointed forward on the road ahead. “Want to talk about you mom?”
“Not really. She doesn’t care about me so why should I care what she thinks about me?”
“Fair enough.” He really wanted to address this issue with her, but somehow he wasn’t sure if it was as a result of compassion or curiosity. He pulled the Marlboro box out of his pocket and pulled one of the cigarettes out with his mouth. “Smoke?” he asked. “Got one more left for you if you want it.”
“No I don’t, but I don’t mind that you do.”
“Alright then.” He said as he let it up. Normally he wouldn’t allow himself to smoke so much at one time, but he had to look tough in front of the lady. In all honesty it was becoming kind of refreshing to smoke, in a bothersome sort of way. The soft glow helped them see a bit better as well.
The path ended abruptly stripping them of their wooded environment suddenly and replacing it with a quiet night’s street. The street lights were all lit up and for the first time now he could see her in decent light. She had a sweatshirt on, so he couldn’t see her body much, but he could tell she seemed a little smaller than average. She had a cute face though with light brown hair and in the fading light he thought he could make out blue eyes. To him that was more important than what her body may look like. He felt like she was looking him over in the same way and he started to feel a bit awkward. This made Ryan feel like sort of a hypocrite. “Let’s go.” He said.
Her house wasn’t more than half a block away. When they got there she stopped him out front. “Thanks for walking me home.” She said.
“No problem. My house is only two blocks from here. See you at the first day of school tomorrow?” Ryan asked with an intentional overly emotional smile.
She returned the smile, only more sincere. “I hope so.”
She turned and walked inside, and Ryan stood and watched by the sidewalk to make sure she made into the house before he turned and walked on. He was glad he had met Jess. If only for a little while, it gave him some time to get his thoughts off of Tay, but now that she had gone he was already drifting back into his thoughts. There was a time when he thought getting a girl would make all his problems go away, but he was convinced it would take more than a girl to get him out of the way he was feeling now.

2

The first day of school didn’t change much with the new title of being a senior. In all honesty by the time Ryan was a senior he didn’t feel as much like pushing the underclassmen around as he did when he was one of them. Things resumed this year the same way they had every other.
So far Ryan had made it to four of his new classes and two of them he had had the teacher for a previous class so he was already all too aware that they were going to bitches to put up with and he had a creeping speculation already that one of the new ones was going to be as well. He could have at least hoped to have them second semester so there’s a chance they might lay off that time everyone starts getting weepy eyed and sentimental around graduation.
The regular block schedule didn’t start up until after the first few days of school so he was stuck dealing with all of his classes every day for the time being. On the days he had all of his classes he had first lunch period so he went there directly after fourth period. The lunch had less options, was more burnt, and more expensive that the previous year. That’s how it always seems to work out. Sooner or later this cafeteria was going to turn into a living scene of Oliver Twist.
Well after he had chosen the best slop he could, and actually compared to what most the others were eating it didn’t look half bad, he ran into his biggest dilemma of the day so far. He had always by stroke of luck managed to be in the same lunch period as Tay or Cal but now he didn’t have either. He took a glance to one side of the cafeteria and one to the other side. The way he saw it he had two options. He either sat with a group of people he didn’t know well and have it be somewhat awkward, or sit with a group he didn’t know at all.
Right then he felt a tap on his should. “Hi.” Jess’s voice called out. “You look different here. Then again, doesn’t everybody seem different in High School?”
Ryan smiled big when she said that. It was forced at all. It was a nice experience since almost all of his smiles these days seemed to be forced. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything so true in my life. It could, however, be the fact that I’m not suffering from an emotional breakdown right at the moment.”
“Maybe you could explain it better sitting down?” Jess asked.
“I don’t think it’s a story I’m ready to get into, but I sure wouldn’t mind sitting down.” He was glad to have at least one social problem out of the way for the time being.
They sat at the nearest table that was mostly empty apart from three younger guys sitting on the opposite end that were probably talking about whatever video game had the best graphics anymore. “So, your friends aren’t in this lunch period either I take it?” Jess asked him.
“Well,” he began “ to be honest I don’t hang out with a lot people at the school anymore.” He felt uncomfortable admitting this, but it was the truth. It wasn’t because people didn’t like him, he was simply more of an introvert.
“That’s a little depressing.” She said with a look of sadness on her face which immediately reversed to one of the happiest, and somehow strangest responses Ryan had ever come across, “But hey! You‘re my friend!” She blurted as she propelled her open had at him across the lunch table.
“Yeah…” He said unsure if she was being serious or trying to be funny. Regardless he took her hand in his and slowly shook it. “Anyway, have you been going here since your freshman year or did you transfer, because I have to be honest I’ve never seen you around here before.”
“Yep, this is my third year. I’m not surprised, at a school this size you never seem to notice the people you don’t really know, but now that you do know me I have a feeling you’ll be noticing a bit more of me around here.”
“I guess that’s true too.” Ryan said, somewhat trying to analyze her. Her behavior was so much more optimistic, so much different than it had been the night before. “What’s with you and all the High School observations?”
“Well I hate it, so I put some serious effort at respecting it for its evils and trying to learn as much as…” She broke off mid-sentence. She caught a glimpse of someone out of the corner of her eye and started waving her hands in the air. “Hey, Abby! Come here!” She shouted. Ryan shrunk in his seat, embarrassed by this display. The girl came to table and sat down. “Ryan, I guess I was wrong. One of my friends does happen to be in this lunch period. This is Abby.”
Ryan put on the same forced smile he always did when he met someone new. “Hey, how are you?”
“Not as crazy as this person you’re with.” Abby said as she jokingly elbowed Jess in the side.
“Shut up, Abby!” Jess shouted. She seemed legitimately angry and this seemed like a sharp transition to Ryan from how she had just been acting. Perhaps she cared more about what Ryan thought then she lead on.
“Whoa, don’t be so defensive, I was only kidding. You know I love you.” Abby said with a playful yet pathetic smile.
“Yeah, I know, I can’t seem to get rid of you. Now have a seat.” Once Abby has sat down Jess had transitioned back to Ryan, “So Ryan, want to come over tonight?”
Ryan was surprised that she asked him, but he tried not to act it. This was the first time that Ryan had really allowed himself to consider that maybe Jess really did like him. She seemed attractive, and seemed to have a really fun personality most of the time, but she just seemed to transition into another person out of nowhere. “Umm… I’d like to, but I have to work tonight and I don’t get off ‘til 10.”
“That’s too bad, we’ll have to do it another night then, well me and Abby have to go work on a stupid project, so I guess I’ll see you later, but first let me give you my number.” She wrote it on a napkin and slid it across the table to him. “Okay, bye.”
“Yep, see ya soon.” So as they walked off, he ate his lunch alone.

3

Ryan killed the engine in that parking lot outside Burger Central. He watched the people walk in and out of the building, like it was nothing. To him it just looked like a big trap. He looked down at the “BC” printed on his shirt, and just stared at it. He put on his clip-on-tie, his nametag, and his “BC” hat that was too small and just looked ridiculous with his fairly long hair. The air felt warm and unappealing as he sighed heavily and stepped out of his car door into the all too familiar parking lot. He checked to make sure his cell phone was on vibrate and entered the restaurant.
“Don’t you just love these uniforms?” Ryan said sarcastically to Jason as he walked in.
“Doesn’t bother me too much now that I don’t have to wear that ridiculous hat. Which by the way, it looks you’re wearing a yamaka with a bill.”
“Ha ha, very funny.” Ryan said, with his usual dose of sarcasm. Ryan felt bad for Jason. Ryan had been there almost two years now, and Jason had always been nice to him, but it just seemed he had no ambition to go anywhere. Jason was only two years older then him, and a manager, but he seemed content with working there for the rest of his life. Ryan thought that this had always been an okay starting job, and while he had already been there longer than he expected when he first started, he could never imagine staying there for good.
As he walked past the counter his friend Matt gave him a high five, “how’s it goin’ bro?”
“Not bad, man.” Ryan said returning it. “How’s the day going so far?”
“Slower than usual.”
“So boring.” Ryan said.
“Yeah, but at least its not crazy busy.”
“True, guess I can settle for being a little bored any day. Besides, how boring can things get with you around here?” Ryan said with a sinister looking smile spreading across his face.
“True that, my man, true that. Now we’ve got things to do, costumer’s to piss off, people to bitch about, and most important of all, new employee’s to corrupt. Let’s get to work.”
Matt was a good guy. Before Tay, Matt had been his best friend. Matt was the person who had convinced Ryan to start working at this god forsaken place, but he didn’t ever blame him for it because he was the sole reason the place was still bearable.
They both went to the grill, and caught up on lost time, since work was the main place they ever saw each other anymore. Ryan brought up Jess a little bit, but didn’t talk much about her, because he didn’t want Matt to get the impression he liked her.
A receipt came up in the grill asking for a burger with extra onions. Matt took this as putting only onions on it and an overly substantial amount at that. He looked back at Ryan “You know, you never do stuff like this. You make everything exactly how you’re supposed to. You know they aren’t going to fire you for having some fun every once in a while.”
“If that’s what you call fun.” Ryan said
“Whatever, you can sit there and just watch all you want Mr. Perfect. This place doesn’t pay me enough to make them all right.”
“I never said I make everything perfect, I just don’t enjoy going out of my way to make them shittier.”
“Yeah, well all the costumers are dicks anyway.” Matt told him.
“Well now I will agree that a vast majority of the costumers are, but even you have to admit that there are some nice ones out there, and from back here you never know.”
“I’ll take my chances.” Matt said, handing up his poorly made sandwich.
Jason called back, “It’s six, replacements are coming in, why don’t you guys go get your breaks taken care of.”
Matt turned to Ryan and said a little quietly since Ryan was still underage, “Hey, lets go across the street and get a couple smokes in our break.”
“Sounds good to me.” Ryan said.

“So, think you are interested in that girl? The one you were talking about earlier. I can’t think of her name.” Matt asked Ryan walking across the street.
“What? You mean Jess? I don’t know, I guess. She seems nice and all, but a little unpredictable.”
“Well is she hot?” Matt asked like it was the most obvious question in the world.
“Well, I guess she’s pretty good looking, but there has to be more than that right?”
“I don’t know about that. Maybe if you’re a queer or something.” Matt said laughing.
“If I was gay then I wouldn’t be interested in anything with girl’s you idiot. Who cares let’s just smoke.”
“Fine,” Matt said pulling a box of cigarettes from his pocket. He took out two, and handed one to Ryan. “Ya know, you should really try smoking some Mary Jane with me sometime. Its good shit ya know.”
“You know I’m not interested in that. The only reason I really smoke anymore is because it reminds me of someone.” Ryan said as he lit up his cigarette.
Matt laughed as he did the same and said “Who fag? who your boyfriend Tay?”
Ryan let his cigarette fall to the pavement as he made a fist with that hand. Ryan had immediately changed personalities, one second a laid back restaurant employee with a friend and no worries, and the next he was an enraged animal. “He’s dead you fucking asshole!” He shouted at the top of his lungs as he lunged out with his fist.
Matt managed to back up a little, but the blow still hit his jaw pretty hard. Matt had just been joking around before, but now he was actually pissed off. “What the hell was that?” He shouted as he stood up and punched Ryan hard across the face. Ryan flopped hard to the ground, and forced himself up his feet.
Ryan turned the other way, and walked back towards the restaurant. Matt continued shouting at him as he walked away. “So defensive, don’t make me out to be the bad guy. You’re the one who used him just to replace me as your best friend!”
“No, he became my best friend when you were to busy getting high with your stoner friends every weekend to spend any time with anyone else!”
“That’s Bullshit!” Matt shouted.
“it’s the truth and you know it.” Ryan said having the final word in the matter.
Jason must have seen Ryan walking back towards his car, because he came running out of the restaurant. “I don’t mean to quit like this Jason, but I won’t be coming back tonight.” Ryan told him.
“What happened?” Jason asked, but Ryan never answered him. Jason seemed startled. Ryan could already feel his eye swelling up. He got in his car and looked in the mirror. His face already seemed badly bruised. He’d probably have a bad black eye for a while.
As he started the engine, he reached into his pocket for his cell phone. He dialed Jess’s number, which he had already added to his contacts. It rang twice the she answered, “Hi, who’s this?”
“It’s Ryan, still feel like hanging out?”

4

Ryan was barreling through a residential zone at about 55 still steaming about what had just happened. That is until he reached the Johnson house. He immediately brought the vehicle to a deafening halt as he saw Mrs. Johnson outside. He began to continue at a very slow pace, never passing ten miles an hour.
The sudden shift in her personality was all too much for Ryan Michaels. He remembered how strong and determined she always used to seem. The Johnson’s were the only black family he knew of living in the neighborhood, and although its not like fifty years ago back when things were a lot different, it still took some courage standing out and he always seemed to admire that. Not only that, but her husband had died of a heart attack not two years before she moved, but when she had arrived in Tristfal, she was already the adapted, independent woman a single mother needed to be to take care of her kids alone. The stress of that on top of trying to manage two jobs never seemed to weigh her down a bit.
But this… seeing her like this was more that can be bared by the eye. She was a broken woman of who she once was. Her heart was crushed the day Tay died, in a way that Ryan would never even be able to understand.
He rose his hand and wove to her passing slowly by. She rose hers in return. No emotion crossed either face. Both knew that the other was remembering him though, mourning him. It felt both good and bad to remember all the time they used to have together.
He passed the house and in his driver side window he saw Mrs. Johnson lower her head to the Earth. He sped up, wishing he could speed up time and have this horrible aura of death be nothing but a distant memory, but if we could skip the hard parts of life, we would never toughen or learn from them. As for right now, he just wanted to get to Jess’ house as soon as possible.