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The coolest club in town |
INT. LEAGUE OF PEDAGOGERY - DAY Two men (JOHN and ALFRED) and two women (CHELSEA and PATRICIA) sit around a table. Alfred speaks in a chairman-like manner. ALFRED ...and so we’ve decided, John’s mother is a whore. JOHN Hey! ALFRED Our next topic: How many lesbians can fit in a box if each one-- PATRICIA Now now, wait a second. ALFRED The council elect recognizes one Patricia Woolsley. PATRICIA I would just like to bring up rule 345 B, if I may. ALL Rule 345 B: In any discussion one must disagree with the other members of said discussion or else a discussion cannot be had. CHELSEA Amen. ALFRED And your point is Patricia? PATRICIA Well, we just passed a rule saying that John’s mother is a whore, correct. ALFRED Indeed. PATRICIA But it was passed unanimously! One MUST disagree! ALFRED A good point. Which one of us will disagree? CHELSEA How about John? It is his mother after all. JOHN But my mother is a whore. CHELSEA Well, can’t you just pretend to disagree? JOHN I suppose. ALFRED Very well. All in favour as John being elected as the one who disagrees... ALL Aye. ALFRED Well then... Wait. Someone needs to challenge. PATRICIA How about Chelsea? CHELSEA But wait, rule 496 C through F. ALL Rule 496 C through F: All rules made are final, and cannot be challenged. CHELSEA Amen. ALFRED And we just passed that rule... damnation! JOHN You know, I never did like that rule. I vote to change it! ALFRED All right, all in favour of changing it? ALL Aye. ALFRED Damn! PATRICIA Wait, we can’t pass it anyway, the rule can’t be changed until the rule is changed. JOHN That’s true. ALFRED All right, until rule 496 C through F is changed, rule 496 C through F shall not be challenged, agreed? PATRICIA Sure. CHELSEA Sounds good. JOHN No! ALFRED Oh, thank Jesus. JOHN No, I’ve just had it! I’ve had enough of this bullshit! PATRICIA Rule 9,864 says that... John Bursts out of his chair. JOHN I don’t care! I don’t care what the godamned rules say! Is this honestly the best way we can spend our time? Spending every afternoon arguing for hours over rules for the very arguments we’re having? Silence. ALFRED Well... yeah. JOHN Oh. Okay. I was just wondering. John sits back down again. ALFRED Alright. Good meeting everyone. Let us close this meeting with Rule number One A. ALL Rule One A: Rules are awesome. CHELSEA Amen. All get up and leave. |