Take A Step Back Chapter 2

Rachel skipped third period without any thought. Ragen kept her promise and called in for Rachel. For a full forty minutes Rachel just ran. That is all she really ever wanted to do lately. She returned to the school by lunch time. Rachel sat in the cafeteria while Ragen staggered off to the popular group. Rachel sat beside Mallory; her best friend since grade five. Rachel lately had been trying to avoid hanging out with Mallory. She felt all she was was a distraction. Rachel never really realize how ugly Mallory was. She was a typical red head, freckles, and plump complexion. She was fat, unattractive and typically uncool. Rachel just wanted to healthy and perfect like Ragen or even Jana Lee. Jana Lee was also ideal to Rachel not as pretty as Ragen but pretty close. She had black hair, chest nut eyes, and a great body. Rachel envied her just like Ragen. She was sure one day she would be one of them.

Lunch soon rushed by and Rachel had to head to her afternoon classes. She went to her Life Class; she was impatiently wanting the class to end. She wanted to go home and get a workout in. She dreaded having to sit; her feet were shifting and her sight was occasional blurring. The second the bell went she leaped out of her seat and headed for her last class which was math. A class she use to enjoy but now it was just a waste of precious time. Time she could be out becoming fit. The class seemed to drag on when finally the bell went.

Rachel decided to walk home instead of taking the bus. It would only take her about twenty minutes. She got home just shy of 3:40. Her mother greeted her at the door and by Natalie as well.

"Did you miss the bus?" she asked

"Yes," Rachel she lied, "I forgot my shoes in my locker,"

"Oh," she replied, "I'm going to the store. Do you want to come?"

"No," Rachel said, "I'm tired,"

"Why don't you go and have a nap,"

When her mother left for the store Rachel headed into the bathroom to weigh herself. She lost one pound. Eighty seven pounds greeted her. Rachel felt a little self worth overcome her. She pulled out her weighing journal jotting down her new weight. She felt like she was doing alright. She had lost twenty one pounds to date but had another twenty six pounds to go. She didn't want to feel fat anymore. She was eating healthy and everything but it didn't seem enough to her.

Rachel looked at the clock. Five o'clock came around and still no sign of mom. Natalie went out for awhile while Rachel was at home waiting for something to come around. The list on the table of chores that had to be done were done to great satisfaction. Rachel even did her sisters chores. She just wanted her life to be perfect. She made sacrifices for herself. She took the blame for something Natalie did out of love and compassion.

Finally, six o'clock rolled around when Rachel's father Kevin came home. She remembered how their meeting earlier went. He was still having doubts about trusting his daughter. Rachel just stood their when he came and sat down.

"How was school today?" he asked

"Fine," Rachel said trying to hide her uneasiness

"So, you handed in that math assignment?"

"Yes," Rachel lied instantly remembering that she had skipped that class and forgotten all about that assignment. She had to get that assignment out of her binder before her father noticed it in there. Guilt was overcoming her; she didn't need to be grounded again for lying. That was one sacrifice she didn't want to repeat. She had to do alterative exercise that resulted in her gaining one pound.

"Good," he smiled, "Now what homework to you have today,"

"Nothing,"

"So where is Natalie?" he asked "Mom called me and told me she was home but her shoes ain't here,"

"She went out with some friends for a little while,"

"Why aren't you with some friends,"

"I don't really want to hang out," Rachel said not wanting to hang out with Mallory or any of them.

"Last night you were all angry because I refused you from going out,"

"I wanted to then," Rachel said. The only reason she wanted to go out then was because she wanted to go out for a jog. Rachel was already itching to go for a run. She hadn't ran in almost six hours. She was feeling like she was gaining unnecessary calories. Supper time was fast approaching and she was feeling sick at the mention of food. She hadn'y all day but she didn't like a set time to eat. She ate when she was hungry but those things lately seemed to be controlled.

"Well," Kevin whispered, "Tomorrow night you and mom are going clothing shopping,"

"Why?" Rachel asked, "I have clothes,"

"Your mother thinks you need new clothing," he stated, "Ask her,"

"I will," Rachel said looking at the clock. Six fifteen. She suspected fast food was what was for supper. She was right because three minutes later her mother walked in with McDonalds. She handed Rachel a salad. The only thing Rachel was willing to eat from fast food lately.

Rachel sat slowly picking at her food taking small bites. She looked at her mother who was eating a quarter ponder. The sight of her mother taking a bite of the burger made her stomach curdle. She looked at how beautiful her mother was, with her brown hair and green eyes. She seemed not to care about her weight much though. It really didn't matter for her since she was beautiful and Rachel was just the unfortunate seed that was planted from her mother. Rachel ignored her self comments.

"Aren't you going to eat Rachel?" her mother asked

"I am," she said, "The salad doesn't taste too good," Rachel in fact wasn't in the mood to eat. She just wanted to go to sleep.

"I'm sure it tastes fine,"

"It must be the salad dressing," Rachel said noting the calories on the dressing. It was over one hundred calories for a small little packet.

"Just eat it," Kevin said ignoring his daughters nonsense.

Rachel sat there and almost forced herself to shovel it down before she got up and headed upstairs. The feeling of fat overcame her. She headed to the bathroom and weighed herself. No change. She didn't feel any better. She turned on the sink tap and titled her head over the toilet and vomited. She didn't want her parents to find out.