Of Gods and Hobgoblins

Gosh it was incredibly HOT this weekend.  Even the pool water was HOT.  So Ronny and I decided to stay inside and indulge in movies. 

So off to the movie rental store we went.  Ronny had a specific movie in mind, but I have not kept up with movies, so we separated at the door to make our selections.  After a couple of minutes, I was feeling a little amorous, so I decided to surprise my husband in one of those ways that is only acceptable of wives or girlfriends.  But you see, I forget that the Gods of Romance, dignity and elegance are not always on my side.  As a matter of fact, most of the time they just ignore me.  So, anyway, I saw him at the back of the store and decided to sneak up behind him, reached out and squeezed his hiney.  I was successful because one of the workers was vacuuming and  Ronny didn’t hear me sneaking up behind him.  Of course he looked over and grinned when he saw who it was.  Now, sense I knew I had his attention, I decided to be a little more daring and whispered, “I am not wearing any underwear.”  He apparently couldn’t hear me so he leaned over and said, “What?”  Now, you have to know this is where the hobgoblins of humiliation, horror and humor stepped in…  I said, still trying to keep the interaction somewhat discreet, but loud enough so he could hear me over the vacuum, “I am not wearing any panties.” 

At which point he turned bright red and I went into shock as I heard my voice echo off the walls, “panties, panties, panties…”.  Because the guy had turned off the vacuum!  After what seemed like eons, the silence broke by a couple of teenage girls giggling at the front of the store.  From the side of my vision, I saw a couple at the pre-viewed sales bin – the young man, face full of metal, arms covered in tattooes elbowed his very pregnant purple-haired wife or girlfriend and snickered.  I think I completely offended the young mother who grabbed both of her children by the hands and marched them right out of the store. 

Personally, I wish they would install trap doors in all public places, as that appears to be where I do this kind of stuff most frequently.

Well, I did not die, but the mood sure did.  LOL