Where To Begin

Life like this
Ain't worth it
I'd rather die
Than keep hurting
Like I'm hurting
Lost and worried
Constantly on guard
Wondering why
The God I pray to
Made things for me
So Hard
"They" say
God will never give
More than we can bear
But
Who are "They?"
To say what God will do
They don't know him any better
Than me or you
Don't be mistaken
My hardships
On God
I'm not blaming
I dug this hole
Now I have to fill it in
The problem is
I can't find my shovel
Or where to begin