Ch. 2: Alternative Perspectives

I couldn’t stand the thought of being around Trish at all today, or tonight, or ever. . . . . . . .

I did NOT just say that!

Technically you thought it.

The point is that I needed to relieve stress, and I knew she’d be home.

I walked into the house that was down the street from me, I always thought it was too femmie.  Kat’s mom is a huge garden freak and likes everything perfect, I never told anyone that it was I who pissed in her petunia’s and NOT her daughter’s stupid one-balled dog.

Ha ha!  They look a little perky, might need another hosing soon. . .

I walked into the overly spotless house and was immediately greeted with Muffy.  Honestly, the dog was ugly as fuck but considering I’m a guy I showed pity on the poor mutt.  What guy, no matter what type, would want to be stuck with one ball anyway?  I don’t know if I could function, so you do have to give him some respect for standing strong.

After Muffy, came Kat.  Now, Doc has always been my favorite person to pick on, we share a mutual understanding that we can be as brutal as we want because we so happen to be two people in this hell pit that don’t give a shit.  It’s refreshing.  Pathetic, yet refreshing.

Suddenly she skid across the floor and stood huffing right in front of me.  Of course I couldn’t help but stare.  Especially since she’d also developed the habit of not caring what she was wearing.  (Which so happened to be a pair of short spankies and a tight ACDC shirt.)  Can’t say that I minded all that much.

“Oh!  You’re cheating on me with that THING!  I see how it is Muffy!  Fine, I hope you both run away together, lead happy lives and have many children.”

“Thanks we will loser!”  Her face was contorted as she felt the sting of true betrayal.

“Shut up you fag!!  By the way, is that a new shade of lip gloss you’re wearing?”

Ooooo!  She’s gone for the balls on this one.

“Ha!  Funny!  It’s chapstick you shitstick!” 

I just rhymed!  I’ll have to remember that one.

“Whatever!  It’s okay if you don’t feel ready to admit you’re sexuality yet, but just know I’ll always be here for you.”

“Whore!”

Stick with the classics, they always work.

“Cheap insults coming from one who likes it up the ass!”

Oh!  And she’s certainly feisty today!  Bring it muchachose!

“At least I’m not the loser spending Saturday nights with her dog!” 

That woulda hurt even the Lesbian, animal rights, vegetarian, tree huggers!

”Oh really, so then what do I owe the pleasure of your company?”

Suddenly I heard a very distinct, “Run, Forrest, run!” coming from upstairs.  That bitch stole my movie.  I began walking upstairs despite her protests because MY movie was calling to me.

“Hey you didn’t tell me you were watching Forrest Gump!” I yelled when she finally caught up to me.

“I don’t remember ever asking you into my house!” 

She came after me but I got in the room first and immediately spotted, “GUMMY BEARS!!!!”

These delectably chewy little creatures were my all time favorite snack…and everyone knew it.  I immediately began shoveling them in my face, to the disgust of Kat.  I was so into the movie and the bears that I didn’t even notice her walk over and point a bat right in between my legs.

“Hand over the Gummy Bears now or I swear to god you will have a lot more in common with my dog than you already do.”  She stated with the calm precision of a hitman.

I did what anyone would have done, I panicked.  My eyes bugged out of my head, and knowing NEVER to look at a wild animal that’s in ‘kill mode’ I slowly handed the bag over.  She ripped them out of my hand and threw herself on the floor, throwing the bat to the side.

PHEW!  That was close.

This just brought a whole new level to our little game, she’d obviously been practicing, which meant only one thing. . . .

“That just brought you to a whole new level Kat.”

“Well I’m so happy you’ve finally learned not to mess with me.  Now, what do you want?”

It was time to play more diiiiirty!

“Well, I did originally come over to ask if you had any condoms.  Then I realized that you obviously wouldn’t so then I went to the store and bought some. GLOW IN THE DARK’S, WANNA SEE?!”  I began to pull some out of my wallet.  Just as expected she flipped.

“No!!”  she yelled throwing her arms up in some sort of protective fashion.

I put them back, “But then I realized that you insulted me today, and I told you what would happen if you insulted me again!”

REEEEAL DIRTY!

She choked on a bear and her eyes bugged out, “GET. . . .AWAY FROM. . . . . ME!!!”  She screamed between coughs.

I crawled down on the floor and got inches from her face then,

THE PHONE!  FUCK!


She jumped up to grab it and frantically yelled, “HELLO?!”

You were saved by the bell. . . for now!  MWAHAHA!

I could see her face suddenly contort and she gave me one of her most maniacle grins to date.  Then I heard it.

“As a matter of fact Trish, “

My head shot up in sudden terror and I began making wild hand jestures that I knew she could understand.

‘I’ll kill you, eat you for breakfast, throw you up, and feed you to Muffy if you tell her where I’m at’

“. . .he’s right here dying to talk to you.”  I went limp and fell on her bed, I figured it was better to kill myself now than die a slow miserable death on the phone.  I grabbed a stack of pillows, buried my head, pushed and began flailing around from lack of oxygen.  That is until she walked over.

“If you’re done killing yourself, or completely proving how insane you are, you’re girlfriends on the phone.”  She handed me the receiver.

NO!  I wasn’t done.  Thanx a lot!

I ripped it from her hands as a last attempt to gain back what balls I had left, the rest that follows happens in quick procession, for all but me.

“Hello?”

“Where have you been!?”

“Chill out babe, I just had to pop over here for something quick.”

“What do you mean ‘just pop over here quick’?  You were supposed to be over here four hours ago!  Are you cheating on me? Are you TRYING to ruin this relationship?”

“Quite acting so stupid Trish!  You know I wouldn’t ever cheat on you, Jesus Christ!”

“DON’T YOU CUSS AT ME YOU LITTLE BASTARD!  I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING!  You know what…don’t bother on coming over!” 

I WASN’T PLANNING ON IT ANYWAY WHORE!

I heard the dial tone ringing in my ear. I hung it up and slung the phone across her floor.  I noticed that the movie was turned off.  She noticed me looking.

“I had to turn it off out of the shear fact that you’re argument was wrecking a classic.”

Well, you know what?!  I’m glad!

“Great!  I’m just pissing everybody off today!” I yelled burying my face again.

“Well if you weren’t such an arrogant asshole!”

Oh, we’re starting this again are we?!

“Well if you’d quite trying to help the situation by being a bitch!”

“Well if you weren’t such a fag in the first place!”

I raised straight up in sudden death mode, I could feel my face burning a solid red.  “Well if you weren’t always such a damn  . .

Sexy ass woman!

What the hell?!  Did I just think that?

Yes, and you know it’s true.  That’s why you were so mad when the phone rang genius!

Shut up!

Make me!  You think she’s sexy, you want to kiss her, you want to date her,  you want to fu. . . . .

.AHHHHHHH!”

“Oh, good comeback dickwad!”

“Would you just leave it Kat!” I got up and stomped to her stereo, I couldn’t even stand to hear myself think and luckily she always had good tunes that were set at just the right volume.

“My brother, you love her
But don't give up your instincts
Hang onto you know what
They'll be gone fast as you blink
They're trained to seduce you
Suck you dry quick as they can
They tried to reduce you
Now you're barely a man

Oh my God
How can you deny the flood
That's flowing through you

Hey you
You're saying that she's all that you desire
Liar
Hey you
You think you can throw water on this fire
Liar

It's not wrong to let go
And let the woman ride you
For fuck sake, don't lose touch
With the dog that's inside you
She wanted what you had
You bet she smelt the spore
Don't give up, fuck her up
One more time, slam that door!”

I was pissed and confused and this song just helped to aide in my mood.  It’s like little men inside a cd that were trained to read your thoughts and yell what you’re feeling back out.  By the time the song was done and the next one popped on, my mood had completely switched.  All I could do was stare out her window, I knew something bad would happen if I looked at her, because I knew what I had to do. . .

”Let me breathe
Let me breathe

I can't even think right now
Something's got me feeling guilty
Hurt you slowly but so surely
I don't know why, love you so much
I can't feel because I'm lost
Not too much matters no more
Is it you, is it me, is it us or is it trust?
Or is it trust?

Push you into what I want
Because I am so goddamn selfish
Left you hanging, stopped relating
I don't know why, love you so much
I can't feel because I'm lost
Not too much matters no more
Is it you, is it me, is it us or is it trust?

I'm so alone, empty and lost, it's easier to let you go
Time will erode the shame and the fault, it's easier to let you go. . .”

She’d walked over and shut the music off, out of the corner of my eye I stared at her.  She never gave herself any credit, she had intense green eyes that stared back at me and layers of rich chocolate brown hair that fell over her face whenever she bent down.  She had a great body too, curvier than Trish, but certainly not fat.  And her full lips curved up in a smirk when she asked,

“Matt?  You want a gummy bear?”

I broke out of my trance and grabbed a handful.  “Thanx Kat!”  I yelled stuffing my face.  She gave me a look that simply screamed, ‘What the hell is wrong with this kid?!”  But I just laughed.

That night we continued watching the movie, and we mocked every line of it with true stocker expertise.  But she got deathly quiet when the part about Jenny dying came on, and she burst into tears when Forrest talked to her.  In fact she even buried her face into the side of my arm.  I looked down at her, not alarmed completely, but somewhat entranced.

I couldn’t help myself any longer, I had to do something, but it wasn’t just lust burning through me.  There was something else I’d never felt before bubbling underneath my skin.
You loooooooove her. . .

I slowly reached over and lifted up her chin just so that her eyes were staring directly into mine.  Time seemed to move so slowly, but yet I couldn’t figure out how my lips were almost brushing hers.

But she. . .