Tonights Tempest

I remember her, but only in neatly strung together words. Only in the sorrow filled metaphors for which all my life gets attributed.

As the turbulent years fade with the roiling storms. Wild passion dissipating into a timid, passive sea. Lost become the sights and smells of honesty. Tears and laughter fade into a deep blue blank. What comes to remain is only the contrast of who I am now, and who I was once.

Sometimes I feel as though I am the ocean deep. Wholly disconnected by these islands of tragic and beautiful experience that have emerged to dot my persona. Sometimes longing for nothing more than to reconnect my being. To bring to a crest my crashing waves to drown them one and all. Sink them neatly and forever below a placid externality.

Particularly hers. Particularly tonight.

Yet, now I know that being whole is wholly overrated. What sort of man reflects a perfect surface? I find, when I move beyond the emotional response, that, that is no place I wish to return. I can no longer be the shallow mirrored pool of my past. No matter how much howling this longing punishes me with.

This is the tempest of tonight. Thinking upon my love(s) lost. Wishing them wasted away. Knowing it far too important for any such thing.

Maybe I shall write her words unto a parchment. To be placed in a glass bottle. Cast out into this vast sea. There to remain until only the coincidence of destiny demand that it's mossy remains be washed ashore.

Who knows, perhaps I shall speak another language by then. Perhaps it will crumble upon my touch and be as vague as the childhood I have carefully forgotten. Perhaps it will simply hurt, just a little less.

Still somewhere I know. That even as centuries pass, and continents must surely become swallowed again. New life always completes the circle with the beauty of creation.

It is our pain, and joy, that we must continually relive. This is the absolute wonder of our conscious life.

At least, after each passing storm, we stand reborn. We are never the same.

We are always the same.