The mask

This mask that I wear today

I wonder what you would think if I was to strip it away.

Would you see the real me?

Or would you see what ever it is you wish to see?

Let me tell you about this mask I wear.

It is to protect me against those that might care.

I put it on when I was 5 years old.

And have worn all these years if the truth is to be told.

I wonder who I would have become if I had the love

The understanding the freedom to soar like a dove.

Underneath this mask that I do not choose to wear.

is ugliness and scars all buried so deep; I cant feel or care.

The mask you see shows me confident and sure

Shows me as a mother who always knows the cure.

I am anything but I want to scream

God help me stay asleep within this dream.

The mask hides so much from the outside.

It hides the fact that when I was 5 I actually died.

Whoever I was to become was no more.

As I lay unconscious upon the bathroom floor.

What if ….Is a game I play inside my mind.

What if they had been gentle and kind?

What if it had only happened once?

What if I had never learned how to take a punch?

Would I be as beautiful as my children think I am?

Or would I still be damned?

Damned to this dark world I find myself living in.

Trying to outlive and not live with the sin.

Would I be a success after all?

Or would I continue after trying to fall.

So today I strip away this mask while I am alone.

I look into the mirror and see I am nothing but flesh and bone.

The scars even though they appear so fresh

Long ago they faded upon my flesh.

The ugliness I see is not real.

Shut up Sherry take another pill.

Just to ease the anxiety

Also to hide the real true me.

I want to sleep and hide away

Instead here I am pretending to live another day.

Blood flows down and splashes the floor

Calmness I feel finally at my core.

This is all just a fantasy

Because I will always wear the mask and never allow anyone to see.