The Prodigal and Me

                                                              The Prodigal and Me


Christianity is one of the world’s four largest religions.  Most people see that Christians are to be perfect, bible carrying, and soft-spoken people.  These statements are nowhere near the truth although we should be like that somewhat we are in many ways falling short.  I want you to think a little bit.  Do you want to be different, accepted, and be an individual?  What do you think develops character?  What is your purpose?  The prodigal son and I showed our convictions by stepping over the lines to truly understand their importance.  Through my personal experience and observation I realize that I become stronger than the prodigal to my personal convictions.

Curiosity is a personal conviction that I hold myself very close to.  This was a very bad thing in my life till I had revelation in life.  Curiosity can be defined as the desire to learn or know about anything; inquisitiveness.  I being the older of two children living in world observing another I had much temptation to fall under the standard.  My mother the Sunday school teacher and my father the man having question in his nursing license for many reasons.  Without going into further detail I believe you can see that here was two very alternative worlds.  I needed to feel what could give me substance and give me a reason.  I began spending time with a friend that was about two years older.  The first time I overstepped my raisings was when he wanted to split a pill with me.  One lead to two years of drugs, drinking, and partying in all places that one parent was ignorant to and another was to busy to take notice.  I took in all that was to make happiness, (happiness- enjoyment encompassing happenings).  I couldn’t just look at others, which were very easy to do in many situations, but I didn’t want to just learn about these things that others put so much into but I wanted to know and have “my own experience”.  I realized a lot of these things to be enjoyable for a season but they all still left me empty when it came down to just me time.  I still attended church with my mother but no one really knew of my activities in this environment.  The pastor was talking just after new years and what I thought to curiosity again made want to have a real substance and I found that in Christ.  Christ gave me a high that didn’t crash, a drunkeness without a hangover, and a blessing that didnt have to end.  He gave me the peace and hope I had searched for.  And I still hold to my curiosity by searching a deeper relationship with the creator.  To understand all that his will is for me, and how I can serve him better.  The prodigal also was a curious character.  “And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me.”  (KJV, Luke 15: 12)  He then went and wasted it much like I did.  He went out into a far country and spent his inheritance.  He took what was given by the father and took it to make it a same in places seemingly out of possible sight. He was in wanting not long after he was out in the world.  His pleasures where only so fulfilling and he had look to satisfy wants in other places.  He worked and desired what the swine had until he thought about what his father could give him.  Then he was willing to receive only what a servant would have because it must have been more than what he had in the far country.

I want to succeed in my life and fear of failure lingers in my shadow tapping my shoulder and mocking me, yet I have to move on.  Sometimes when self-evaluation sets in I have to realize that I “was” in the pigpen but no longer “am there”.  The past situations are to help realize what God can do to pull us out of pits no matter how big the ones we fall into are.  As young convert I was bad to not do much because I thought of how much I already had screwed up.  Then a wise man told me that I couldn’t drive forward in life while looking in the rearview mirror.  So I put my best foot forward even if it may not be the most rewarding.  The best day I ever had in my walk was the day my friend looked at me and said. "You have changed just a little to much."  I have not succeeded truely in my eyes til others can see it not for my glory but for the fathers.  The prodigal I believe had a need to succeed.  “And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!”  (KJV Luke 15: 17).  And he thought that he would go and repent to the father and ask to simply be a hired servant.  He was willing to work now that he realized what the father had for him even if he wasn’t worthy to be a son.  He would give his all and press to satisfy the father successfully.

Acceptance is something I believe we all desire in our lives.  Acceptance is the act of taking or receiving something offered.  I wanted people to accept me for me but you see I didn’t realize that in people I couldn’t truly find much of any acceptance because if I were to offer myself there is always something that needs to be changed.  There have been many girl friends I have had and I would change a certain attribute of myself to give satisfaction.  But now as a believer I don’t change to receive acceptance, instead I bring out my interest, beliefs, and desires to share with anyone willing to accept.  But my God already does accept, so if no one else does what does it matter, for I do not nor will not change for anyone but him, not because I have to, but I because he allows me to.  It is no doubt in my mind that while the prodigal was spending his substance that he was offering satisfaction to many but then when he wanted real acceptance it wasn’t there regardless of his circumstances.  “I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, And no more worthy to be called thy son:  make me as on of thy hired servants.”  (KJV Luke 15: 18-19) He was willing to change to be accepted, but the father simply loved him greatly as he was, just by coming home.

I have stayed more faithful to my personal conviction because I haven’t lost them.  The Lord made me with the convictions I show throughout life to assist me to be the person that he created me to be.  Although I have no true idea yet of fully what that is he is willing to get me closer if I just seek after him.  The prodigal tip toed around these convictions much as I did; yet these are part of my tools I have realized.  God gives us tools in life to use.  Some of these tools are our personal convictions that we grow along and although they may be something that is just itching us closer to hell he can turn them around and let us use them for his glory.