Been Had

I wrote a part of this on parchments
Poised mellow and wise
Father forgive them
For they know not of my disguise
I keep my feet on the ground
And my head to the skies
Where angles beat box
'bus whiskey shots and kick this
soul power linguistics
with premonitions from mystics…

This is a dream within a memory
So color me shitfaced and kiss me gently
I'm scrolling 3 sheets to the wind
To send me closer to angelic embrace
This lifes got me spinnin
Head down fish tail finnin in
This rebel angel's funeral procession
Barfly blues in 26 hues as the
Vice and the Verse stay wild and true
A pack and a pint
Turntables and bagpipes
Pour a jamenson toast to the poets traveling ghost
To wayward daydreamers
And shyster lil street schemers
Back alley preachers and lyrical saydreamers
To court jesters that gesture single fingered for
The promises they made to the sun
Daring to make the king laugh
With wishbone tactics to stay centered in their grasp
Give thanks
Ego-lips separate fact from fiction
Factotum diction of future fathers
To canvas riddles obvious
against an administration that doesn't speak for us
Political or elliptical
Written so provisional
but Babylon still battles on
And the raging sun still gathers songs
as scattered seeds till scatted psalms
Prepared new crops for golden tongues
And this star-fish
Eclipsed behind mother ship sails
One with childlike innocence
Hidden from dissidence with
Cross-words manifestation
Taking notes from the air
Blue for miles as
The pharaohs dance
With serpentine grin
Runnin from the devil, cultivating my sins
Measuring the density each meter writes
Tryin to find my way home
Break out
Stress fractures
Slit wrist
Press printing the cosmos
Cause their god knows only cursive speech
Tangled in antique dreams and monetary equations

But I've been possessed by the caress of a nation
In need of poetic salvation
At times I stay adjacent to spiritual communication
Hope god is listening cause I need a lil savin
And I'm feelin like temptations got me cavin in
Laced up the nikes but I'm afraid to run
Blunts and Bacardi 151 got me stuck on the tongue
So I archived my mistakes from pen strokes to drum
Challenging the capacity of my lungs till I'm done
Channeling the capacity of the sun to become
That consequential angel
Sage of the sakays
A semtax bomblast
Through your sixth chakra
Casting spells like druidic ancestry
Uploading pages till my bandwidths reached
See I don't need your HBO fantasy
I already got a taste of the devils cup
So I put the barrel to my head so I could blow thought up
Between breaths I pray
Oh lord please don't let me fade away
Uncock the trigger
I aint ready for the light
I know I'm a sinner
But I want my dreams back
So I write
lithograffiti
Forever scribing past and present
From blood and ink
To bread and wine
Blue notes and bass lines
High hats and rhyme
Inkwells and psalms
Pages and palms
Prayers for the ages that meditation will calm
Turning tables in time
Churn fables design
Able to rhyme
Since mic cables unwind
The vice the verse
The outcome, the search
The questions unearthed
The truth, the hurt
The pierced skin of transition
Affluent to position
The branded sect of masonry
Joining tongue and groove in feathered carpentry
binding reality with
Dreams once left behind

I'm a victim to apologetic aftermaths
A Product of my environment, prone to bilateral decent
So I decided to write it backwards to attack words unsuspecting
Spit it congruent and fluent
Let the pronouns be subjecting
When The sent still lingers from my miswoven path
Neglect turned backwards so I had to redo the math
Subtle equations testing my patience
And my vices still entail sad places where days went

But It was only a matter of time before I broke free
Before echoes taught this flow how to unify the we
And I got complicated tendencies that intend to be set free
But the devil won't let me be
Cause he is I and I am him
Slim with a tilted brim and a callous grin

Painted morals on mirrors
Your drunk lipstick trips awakening
I've seen your illusions manifest themselves
By insightful discourse and selfish deeds
Aiding and abetting reason deemed criminal
If by chance a society ruled by holy dharma's essential ethic were present
But this principle is practiced by few
And even then falls short of symmetrical balance
And my solitude is no longer sacred
As anemic principles fuel your new age prejudice
As fear takes hold
Aware of disposition
Culture of opened wounds
Her tongue lashes paper-cuts
I fought fearful for American nights to define substantial definition
As dawn takes flight
Ending soporific missions

See you authored your own disorder
And now you can't find shelter
Playing with fire ignoring the water
Designed to suffer and swelter

What truth begins in shadowed pages
Drivin by the need to ascend?
Germinating in my mind I find the design of a time
Before chaos commanded creation
Before lives turned 9 to 5 and lost touch with temptation
Rebirth communication
I spend my nights inclined to birth insight when I write
And commit dreams to pages
Resurrecting prophecy take flight
Cause No tree grows with damaged roots when held against it's will
Been had
You were promised prosperity by politics and preachers
Who placed pleasantries in pedicures and perennial wars
Moving misguided missiles marked for misconception

And solitude likes the taste of warm blood
In a culture of opened wounds
Where wolves feed on bleeding hearts
Sharpen their teeth on my bedposts
Turing my dreams into nightmares marred on individual extinction

The ghosts of the Chelsea lying next to me
Cradles me like outlawed poetry
Teaches me to breathe like mercury
Contained temperatures written with
Celsius tendencies
I wrote the rest of this in forgetfulness
Sometimes the grip is so tight that I forget to breathe
Forget to be all I can be and more than what's expected of me
Sometimes I make my mother cry
But she knows my heart stays right
Even when my father doesn't understand
I wrote out my dreams to forgive his sins as much as mine
We are the ones we've been waiting for
Kick in the door claiming we want more
We are creating moments that may seem indefinite
Through endless psalms, rhythms and blessedness
When our tongues create a motion that elevates collectiveness
And each is considered equal so there's no jealousy affecting this

Flesh turned ash
But legends never die
One love we stay
And the I and I survive

© 2007
alabaster mcdoulge