You're Cute For a Black Girl

“You’re cute - for a black girl”
         Is that supposed to be some type of compliment? Am I supposed to feel happy because I’m considered a bit prettier than your average black girl?
         It’s not, and I’m not.
         I’m not the least bit flattered and I’m actually infuriated that on more than one occasion and on a continual basis I have to hear that “compliment” from many acquaintances and friends.
         When I was younger I wasn’t exactly sure what to make about comments such as this. People would say to me in a conversation, “Your dad’s pretty hot for a black guy” and I would smile, not knowing what else to do with my face. 
         With each expression of aesthetic appreciation the compliment was alloyed with a (conscious or unconscious) remark about the minority of beauty among black people.
         In this context someone might as well say to me, “You’re cute despite being/even though you’re/albeit…black. Doesn’t sound as flattering anymore does it?
         But the “compliments” don’t stop there. More come in choosing to focus on how my hair is “pretty for” or “not like most” black girls’.
         As a multiracial woman I have come to realize that even if black is beautiful, lighter is always better and mixed is a bonus.
         Colorism seems to take a backseat to racism these days in social discussion, if either are discussed at all. While racism is certainly burgeoned by the existence of colorism, colorism itself can exist even as racism wanes.
         While we’re far from the days of Blue Vein Societies and Paper Bag Tests, colorism still lingers, especially within the black community.
         I’ve seen the effects of colorism in movies, magazines and on television and I’ve experienced their subtle influence in everyday life. As much as I notice colorism in society I suppose I’m disappointed at the fact that some people are generally unaware of what colorism is or how to spot it.
         Several magazine articles and newspaper editorials comment on the problems of colorism; whereas businesses and the entertainment industry don’t exactly deny the fact that colorism is still a part of several decisions.
         Still, it’s important to understand that it’s not an occurrence in which the white community solely impresses it on minority communities but one that finds all groups propagating the sentiments outside of and among their own. I would consider it a problem that plagues society at its most subconscious levels. 
          At this point I try to use colorism against itself as a defense mechanism. Instead of being angry and offended I try to laugh situations away by participating in jokes about my dark skin with my peers, black or white.
         But sometimes, on some days, I get tired of laughing, and I can’t hide the hurt I feel with a smile. Perhaps someday beauty will be as colorblind as society is, but until then I’m still cute for a black girl and hurt like anyone else.